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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Experience with dad's who are wanting a certain sex?

35 replies

erised · 11/02/2020 15:31

I have my 20 week scan in 3 weeks. From the start my husband has wanted a baby girl, he's not pinning his hopes on it or anything but he's just always wanted a little girl. I'm hoping he's not going to be too disappointed if it's a boy. Anyone had any experience on the OH wanting a girl or boy?

P.S I know that he will love the baby no matter what. I would just like to hear how other people have dealt with this kind of thing.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ejmay90 · 11/02/2020 15:42

My other half started off wanting a boy for our first, then he saw lots of dads with their little girls was so set on having a girl but when we found out were actually having a boy he was over the moon!

He would love a little girl next but we haven't even had our son yet so thats few years down the line yet lol!

Christmastree43 · 11/02/2020 15:51

My DP would absolutely love a boy, to be fair so would I but I've not said that out loud. I've told him firmly that it's not fair to feel like that as we have no choice in the matter. I think it's mostly harmless coming from him, I think as men and women we tend to just visualise our future kid as a version of ourselves so women find it easier to see a girl and men a boy.

His brother has a little girl and also wanted a boy, they wanted to find out before she was born but she was never in the right position! He says the moment she was born any preference just melted away and he was absolutely over the moon with a girl so I've taken comfort from that.

Whynosnowyet · 11/02/2020 15:52

My exh wanted a ds. We had 3

He never bothered with any of them sadly.

cptartapp · 11/02/2020 15:54

Research shows men are far more likely to leave the family unit if their offspring are solely female.

Bezalelle · 11/02/2020 16:00

My DH expressed a wish for a boy when I first got pregnant. I told him in no uncertain terms that we are having what we're having, and any whisper of discontent with a girl will not be welcome. It seems to have sunk in.

ChipsAreLife · 11/02/2020 16:10

Well that's cheery @cptartapp

Original poster

erised · 11/02/2020 16:14

@cptartapp hardly relevant at all really is it?

OP posts:

LikeTheFruit · 11/02/2020 16:14

Keep it a surprise then OP. You'll both be so thrilled they've arrived safely when they're born that any pre-conceived ideas won't matter anymore.

user00119922 · 11/02/2020 16:19

I am due next week! I never wanted to find out the gender because I like surprises, however part of the reason for not finding out was also because I knew DH would be disappointed if we were having a girl. When the baby arrives I'm sure he'll love the baby no matter what gender!

Whattheother2catsprefer · 11/02/2020 16:19

Remind him that it's totally out of your hands and he is the one that actually determined what sex the baby is, so if he doesn't get what he wants there is only himself to blame

LH1987 · 11/02/2020 16:28

Hi, my DH really wanted a boy, he always said it, even before I was pregnant. I was sure I was having a boy as he kept referring to it as 'he's. Cut to 20 week scan, we are having a girl. I must admit when it was announced his smile became a bit fixed but as soon as he'd had a minute he was very excited and cant wait to meet his daughter.

Bookworm83 · 11/02/2020 16:31

My husband wanted a girl, but we are having a boy and he says he's perfectly happy with that and will love him just as much. (I personally couldn't be happier!)

4amWitchingHour · 11/02/2020 16:39

I'm 17 weeks with our first and my DH wants a girl - one of the reasons I want to find out is so he can get used to the idea if it's a boy. I know he'll ultimately be happy either way, but he's also better when he knows what's coming (is terrible with surprises). So I can't offer any advice OP, other than we're in the same boat at about the same time!

JaffaCakeGal · 11/02/2020 16:43

My DP doesn't want to find out what we are having and I do, not sure if that's better than him having a strong preference or not

Original poster

erised · 11/02/2020 16:48

@4amWitchingHour I feel the same! My husband is awful when he doesn't know what's coming so I think the time to adjust if it's a boy will definitely help.

OP posts:

Betsyboo87 · 11/02/2020 16:50

Given a choice a think my DH would have chosen to have a boy. As it happens we are having a boy but as others have said, it would have completely gone away once he met the baby.

We actually found out from our NIPT blood test. It’s probably a good way to find out if you have a strong preference either way. The relief of knowing the results were normal overshadowed any preferences of sex.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 11/02/2020 16:51

Ds really wanted a boy but didn't tell me until we found out we were having a boy.Smart move dh,smart move.

Babyg1995 · 11/02/2020 16:56

My dp really wanted a girl this time we have 4 boys already was a girl this time he was over the moon .

LittleBoyJuly2020 · 11/02/2020 16:59

I'm 16 weeks, partner wanted a boy but didn't go on about it. I initially wanted a girl but from about 7 weeks had a strong sense that it was a boy and couldn't imagine it being a girl. We had a blood test that confirmed a boy so he's happy and I'm happy that my instinct was right

Anotherusernameanothermoan · 11/02/2020 17:00

We didn’t find out the sex with DD1 until she was born. DH is one of 4 boys and I really thought DD1 would be a boy so we were surprised she was a girl. DH was super happy though as he had always wanted a girl, he just assumed he’d have a boy. I wanted a boy, he wanted a girl so one of us was gonna get what we wanted.

We’ve not long found out the sex for DD2 (25 weeks now) and I always suspected I was going to have another girl. He was convinced this one would be a boy so again he’s happy to have another girl.

He did say he wants a boy next but I’m not
Really in control of that 🤷‍♀️ MIL said we need to have a boy next as to carry on the family name

Feltywelty · 11/02/2020 17:00

My ex was dead set on a girl, when we found out he was a boy he was a little disappointed but it all dissipated upon his birth, he was the first to hold him and now says he can't imagine life without his boy

Howgreenwasmyvalley · 11/02/2020 17:03

I'm glad there were no scans when I was pregnant, it's like opening Christmas presents months early, , it's much nicer to have a surprise.

watermelonhead · 11/02/2020 18:25

My dh wanted a boy and would not stop talking about marvel comics super hero's and came up with the most ridiculous pretentious and long names I'd ever heard of.

Luckily at the 5 month scan we found out we were having a girl. Unfortunately for dh she's our one and only as I couldn't go through it all again. He absolutely adores dd but I'm pretty sure if given the chance he'd love a boy still. Both sexes are brilliant in the end though aren't they. Just having a wonderful newborn to squidge is the magic of it not if it's a girl or a boy.

Jesskir89 · 11/02/2020 18:32

My dh wanted a girl but now he knows we're having a boy said he feels it's probably better him having a boy he can do boys stuff with and is over the moon

sel2223 · 11/02/2020 18:47

I know my OH really really wants a DS but he's being very good and saying the right things like 'I don't care as long as it's healthy' etc.
He's the one pushing for us to find out the sex and I know there'll be momentary disappointment if it turns out we're having a girl....I'm just hoping t won't make any difference once baby is here and he'll love them no matter what.

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