Pregnant with awful irrational fears. Please help :(

[squashie34]

Please be kind and not tell me that I'm going crazy even though I feel like I am :( I don't know where to turn.

I've been having vivid and sometimes scary dreams since I found out I was pregnant, but I had a dream a about 2 weeks ago that I gave birth and realised that the baby wasn't my OHs but that it was someone else's (it came out a different race). I woke up and knew it was a dream but now I just have this overwhelming fear that keeps coming to me out of the blue that my OH isn't the father of my child.

It seems to be the minute I put my hand on my stomach or get excited about the future it jolts straight into my head and makes me feel like I'm going to lose everything.

I love him to the moon and back and know in my rational mind that it is impossible as I haven't slept with anyone else, I would never, have never, but then my mind starts making up all these scenarios such as ' you say that, but what about the 5 minutes you went to the toilet on your girls night out drunk the weekend before you must have done something' or 'have you done something and just don't want to remember it'. It's like a devil in my head and I just can't escape it. I know if I told my DH about these thoughts he would be heartbroken but I just don't know why I'm having them.

Please can anyone help? I should add I've had some dreams about me not being able to look after a baby too, the one the other day was that I caused it to drown as I gave it too much milk whilst breast feeding!

This is my first baby and I'm just petrified about what is happening to my mind. Could it actually be trying to tell me something?!

It’s your hormones , they’re all over the place when you’re pregnant . You know you haven’t done anything with anyone else , it was just a dream . I’ve had loads of weird dreams . Don’t worry yourself , try and enjoy it as much as you can ! X

Op it's totally normal for some people. I was exactly the same. Mad dreams and irrational thoughts and worries. If it gets too much see your doctor but mine subsided with a little time. X

Hun my friend kept having dreams she was shagging oompa loompas, genuinely. Hormones are crazy, not you, just be accepting that this is all part of it, and when baby is here.... boy are they even crazier but its normal xxxx
P.S- nothing wrong with shagging oompa loompas if you so wished #apartfromtheyrefictional

OP it sounds very very similar to a form of OCD, you should make an appointment with your gp to talk it through.

You're not going crazy and it's so normal.

I would have the worst dreams and wake up sweating and they felt so real!!!
One vivid one I remember i kept having was walking down my hall way passing loads and loads of blood and feeling beyond upset and confused I would wake up terrified and checking my underwear.
It does get better, well it did for me and I'm now 35 weeks pregnant tomorrow and all the dreams like that and my.oh cheating was another... but very convincing soon passed. It's your hormones. X

I should say the ocd relates to you doubting yourself, the dreams are nothing to worry about but can trigger the doubt

Ohh the mad & really vivid dreams are totally normal in pregnancy. I’ve had theeee most peculiar dreams in both my pregnancies. They range from amusing to what the actually hell 🙈 Some are just whacky, some are stressful & some are downright horrible! And so vivid! Last night, my dream was that we flew to the Maldives for my bro in laws wedding but then we found out upon arrival that my sister in law to be was already married & her husband had turned up.. there was a huge fight. We left, got a plane, found there was no runway but instead cars on the motorway had to just move out the way and then we just crashed into the sea. We then had to try swim to land with our two year old. I woke up as I was struggling to stay afloat

Please don’t let the crazy hormone dreams feed into real life. It’s all they are. There is nothing wrong with you in that regard!

www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/pregnancy-dreams#why-do-they-change

Pregnancy really messes with your dreams. I had a lot of weird dreams and some horrifying nightmares.

When my baby was overdue I had a dream that the midwife told me that my baby was late because he didn't like me!

I agree with PP that if you find it overwhelming to talk to your GP or midwife about it. My weird dreams went away as soon as the baby came.

Thank you so much for all your replies- I've just woken up from another horrific nightmare but the thing is I know this one was just a nightmare and I'll probably not think about it again,

I don't know why it's one or two thoughts that just won't go away even though I know they aren't true, but at their peak they make me almost believe they have to be true because otherwise I wouldn't keep thinking it. I just want them to go away maybe I'll mention it to my midwife next week but my OH is coming with me.

I agree with @Rosabuddy - I don't think the dreams are necessarily anything to worry about but the intrusive thoughts sound like they could be a symptom of OCD or brief psychotic/delusional disorder, depending on whether you have other symptoms etc. Definitely speak to your GP

@XJerseyGirlX thanks for replying, did you have the irrational thoughts whilst awake too or just when you were dreaming?

Everyone here seems to relate to having the dreams but not the part that they're convinced certain things could be true and spend ages overthinking then when they're not sleeping, that's why I'm really worried. The idea of the word psychosis really scares me as that isn't normal is it. I don't have any other symptoms other than anxiety (a tough first 12 weeks and a long journey with endometriosis to get here) or hear voices or anything like that, it's my own voice just basically saying 'you think it's not true, what if your dream is trying to tell you what you've tried to ignore' it's horrendous and I just want it to stop so I can enjoy my pregnancy. My OH is so excited

Hi OP please don't be embarrassed or scared to talk to your GP, it's probably not psychosis but it's best to get it ruled out! Even if it is, antenatal and postnatal psychosis is A Thing and not talked about as much as antenatal/postnatal depression for some reason! It's all the hormones' fault!

I have ocd and have done for since I was a child, and irrational thoughts, even though you know they aren’t true, are one of the less talked about symptoms. People associate ocd with cleaning etc but there is so much more to it. You probably hate yourself for things that haven’t actually happened and it’s very hard to explain to others, particularly as you are afraid you are hurting them. I have found medication works well for me but everyone is different. It’s nothing to be scared about, once you know what it is and learn to control it it is much easier

Both to be honest OP, my dreams would spill over into worrying about them in everyday life. My first pregnancy scared the hell out of me , it changed me so much. I think you should be honest with the doctor and your DP, i imagine you'll feel so much better when she confirms a lot of woman experience it during pregnancy. Its a confusing time, some people fly it and some dont (i didnt). Im better now, i have aspects of OCD left now but nothing too worrying xx

Hi OP, poor you, pregnancy does loads of weird things to us!

If these intrusive thoughts are affecting your daily life (and it sounds like they are) you need to talk to your GP/midwife and ask for a perinatal mental health referral.

Don’t be embarrassed, hormones do very strange things to us and it’s better to get strategies in place early to manage them so that you can start feeling better. Mental health issues in pregnancy are very very common - your healthcare team need to be aware so that they can help. I’d tell your partner too so they can support you and can get help if you’re deteriorating without realising, as can happen in psychosis. (you could say you’re having awful and untrue thoughts without disclosing what the actual thoughts are)

Your symptoms sound more anxiety/OCD related than psychotic symptoms. Have a look at online CBD (cognitive behavioural therapy) courses to start managing these thoughts yourself, but definitely talk to your GP/midwife.

Also don’t be scared that you’ll be labelled as ‘crazy’ and referred to social services or something - again, mental health issues are so common in pregnancy and your team will be used to supporting women with these symptoms. Make sure you’ve got the support you need to recover xx