Is this normal? Questions from a worried 1st time mum to be

[Slothwrangler]

I’m almost 32 weeks pregnant and this is my first pregnancy.

At my latest midwife appointment last week, the midwife asked if I was attending antenatal classes. I told her that I would like to sign up for them. She said that the classes for women at my stage of pregnancy were starting that same day and there almost certainly wouldn’t be any space for me, but she could sign me up for a “birth talk”. I said OK but I asked her why this was the first time anyone had mentioned antenatal classes to me; why hadn’t I been asked about them sooner so that I could have had the choice to attend them? She told me that all the information I needed to sign up for them would have been included in my maternity notes pack that I was given at the first meeting with my midwife. I told her that I had looked through the info I was given several times over the course of my pregnancy and there was no information at all in there about antenatal classes.

If you’re wondering why I didn’t raise the topic myself with the midwife earlier on in my pregnancy, I’m pretty sure it was discussed during our first or second meeting, and she told me I could sign up for them later on. I got the impression I would be offered the chance to attend them when times and dates had been arranged and when spaces were made available.

However, at some point early in my 2nd trimester I started to worry and decided to sign up for NCT classes because it was a very straightforward matter of signing up online. Although I had to pay, it was worth it for the peace of mind of knowing I was definitely going to get to attend classes and wouldn’t be totally unprepared for giving birth and parenting. However, now I’m worried that I might be missing out on something important by not attending NHS classes.

My questions are:
Has anyone had a similar experience? Is it normal for midwives to not mention anything about NHS antenatal classes until it’s too late to sign up for them?

Throughout my pregnancy, I haven’t seen the same midwife twice. Is that normal? I think it has contributed to my sense of feeling very disconnected from the whole process.

Is there anything you learn/discuss on an NHS course that you don’t on an NCT course? When do you actually get to make a birthplan and discuss things like water births, home births, pain relief, etc?

Do you get to visit the maternity ward on an NHS antenatal course?

The NHS course isn't great. 3 short afternoon sessions in a group. It doesn't cover your birth plan, that is private and you will have an appointment with your midwife closer to due date to make that plan. The tour of the hospital depends on what your hospital allows but would be separate to a class. The class is so basic to be honest I didn't learn a huge amount.

Mine was just one 2-hour session, all about the different stages of labour and pain relief, that's it. Like PP said, it was very basic.
It was listed in my maternity notes and at some point in my 2nd trimester the midwife did tell me it was the time to call the number and sign up.
My hospital doesn't offer tours of the ward, but I have found a way around it. I contacted the head midwife directly explaining that I suffer from anxiety (which is true) and seeing the ward would help me prepare mentally. So she set up an appointment for me for next week.
I have been seeing the same midwife from the start (except one time when she was on holiday) which is the norm in my area but might be different where you are.

I didn’t attend my NHS one because I was told you weren’t allowed to book before 24 weeks then when I phoned (at 24 weeks on the dot!) there were no spaces for before I was due! I attended daisy birthing classes instead and tbh from what I’ve heard there’s not a whole lot of difference between them all.

If you’ve got the NCT booked I’d just go to that. I’m in Scotland and we don’t have an appointment to go through a birth plan, you’re just asked to communicate it when you arrive at hospital (unless you’ve opted for a home birth but that had to be agreed quite early in the pregnancy if I remember correctly).

I never saw the same midwife twice. There was information in my handheld notes about courses etc, there is an expectation you will also do some research as well. The hospital I attended did tours of the department, i did ask about this at an appointment.

Sadly OP with the NHS the way it is you will need to start being more pro-active and not wait to be told much. I appreciate as it's your first you may not be aware of the services offered but there is quite a lot of information out there if you look for it on-line.

All the best

In my last pregnancy my MW said not to bother with the NHS classes as I’d signed up to NCT, in fact now the NHS ones here are being moved to online . My local MLBU let you visit for a tour if they’re not busy (you have to be practice and calm them though, it wasn’t offered), not sure about the labour ward though.

There should be a birth plan template in your notes I think? There you can tick the things you want to try and definitely bring it up at your next appointment. I just checked and in the appointment summary section it says birth plan to be discussed at 34 week appointment.

Meant to say: you have to be proactive and call them though, it wasn’t offered

I was told about them at the booking in appointment, there was a sheet explaining how to book them over the internet. Went the web page and they just weren't there! Got DP to check too and nothing

I'm doing NCT and another one so hopefully it won't matter too much. Will ask about a tour of the hospital though as that sounds potentially useful.

The NHS in my area don’t even have classes, so I really wouldn’t worry. The only thing on offer is an online course

There is no rule you have to do any antenatal classes. All the information you’ll ever need is available online! Or in a baby book if you have the time to read one! But equally, I fancied doing a class as a first time mum. I did NCT. I already knew most of the information they told us but it was nice to hear it all re-explained. I also made some great friends, we are still in touch three years later

A hospital tour might be nice if you like to feel comfortable about where you are going & what the room will be like etc! That kinda thing doesn’t much bother me, it’s a hospital room at the end of the day & I’d had a few complications during pregnancy so knew my way round the maternity area from scans & monitoring!

Ps. You can make your birth plan anytime - my midwife told me to write down my thoughts on the sheets in my notes & we spent approx two minutes having a look at it during my 36 week appointment last time .. I wouldn’t set your expectations very high. There was no long consultation! At the end of the day, you need to think about what you want & make sure it’s written down. Your midwife won’t do it for you.

My birth plan was - labour ward. No pethidine (I’d had a bad reaction to it in the past). Epidural if I asked for one. To be passed baby for a cuddle even if I ended up in theatre for any reason. Managed 3rd stage.. everything else, I was happy to roll with! I think births are better kept open minded personally. My wishes were followed exactly when the time came!

Same here! This is my first, and I feel that I have not been given half as much information as I should have. I appreciate that there is alot of information online, but when this is the first time going through it, its all a little scary and I honestly thought that with the amount of appointments being made...that some of them would be a little more "Hand holding" as it were haha ><
I saw a midwife at 12 weeks for my booking (who seemed completely useless, spent most of the appointment trying to work her laptop, and handed me my booklet and didn't explain anything or go through it with me) I had the rest of my appointments in the hospital which were basic blood pressure, urine sample appointments.
It wasn't until I saw a different midwife at around 30 weeks that she explained a few things, and was actually helpful! She asked if I had been to any antenatal appointments and I said no, I thought I would be offered, or informed of ones in my area. And when I went home to have a look...all classes from then on were after my baby is due.
I read in my booklet that we should get to visit the ward before birth but I am 37 weeks now and it hasnt come up at all... and I only got told a week ago I would not be able to have a water birth also! Talk about waiting till the last minute to inform you lol

To be honest, alot of people do not go to antenatal classes anymore I have been told, and if you have some friends who have had children they can offer as much information and support as the classes would do =) Plus watch some birthing videos online, I have found them to be really useful in seeing how things actually play out =D

If you want to visit the hospital, no-one will organise that for you. You have to arrange it yourself. It’s not the midwives responsibility or an organised trip for all pregnant woman. But if you ask, they’ll point you in the right direction. My hospital for example have an open night once every other week, it’s clearly signposted on their website & maternity Facebook page. But if yours isn’t, ask your midwife ASAP & they will be able to advise how to organise it! Don’t wait for them to raise it, they are horribly busy & understaffed, take the initiative yourself!

NCT classes are way more in depth than the NHS ones. DS arrived early so I didn't make it to the NHS ones but thankfully did the NCT course ahead of time as the schedule fitted us better.

Ask your midwife for the number for the maternity ward or try to see if it's published online then call up to see what they offer for yours etc.

You can write your own birth plan so don't worry too much about that.

I think funding cuts etc mean that maternity care is getting more self sufficient so good luck.

You won't miss anything at the NHS one! You'll get a lot more out of your NCT group.

My midwife mentioned it in passing but it was my responsibility to keep an eye on the dates and sign up (which is what I expected). We considered private antenatal classes but decided to go with free NHS and spend the money on a hypnobirthing course instead. The NHS class was one day, 6 hours or so and it was brilliant - very informative and reassuring (didn’t get to visit the ward). I don’t think it covered anything an NCT class wouldn’t cover tho!

I managed to get the antenatal classes but they didn't cover much, and lasted about half as long as advertised.
Barely ever seen the same midwife despite being high risk and my midwife being the only one with experience of my condition.

We just found out we are part of a trial - we did wonder what everyone else was talking about at their antenatal classes as they have all had extra classes, have a select group of midwives, have been taken on tours of the hospital etc. Turns out they forgot to put the sticker on my notes, meaning we've missed out on all the required things (I'm due in about a week) and have no time to catch up and book onto everything available. Saw our consultant last week and she had never heard of this trial team either and was confused as to why my notes are now referring to it.
I'm also supposed to see my midwife weekly but they've never managed more than fortnight appointments.

I'm 36 weeks pregnant and have had no consistency in midwife care. You had to proactively find the antenatal classes on the local NHS website for my area and sign up via Eventbrite, but they weren't good. Got a lot out of the NCT course though and it covered a lot more info.

I never did any ante natal classes, either NHS or NCT. I did do a hypnobirthing course but as it turned out I had a very complex labour so this was next to useless. I still managed to give birth ok.