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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Missed miscarriage 10 weeks baby died at 6

33 replies

Mrs173 · 10/02/2020 11:16

Wondering if anyone can offer advice. Found out at private scan that baby was measuring small and no HB (6 weeks when I should have been 9) had to wait almost a week for an nhs scan and now waiting another week for nhs to confirm even though I already know. I called the EPU to find out what my options are After my next appointment. After a lot of research I am pretty set on wanting an MVA as it’s been 4 weeks since baby died and my body hasn’t recognised it. I personally don’t think I can deal with the pain and trauma of blood loss at home from a medical management but I have been told wait time for mva is almost a month - that means it will have been 2 months if my body doesn’t recognise it while I am waiting. Any advice on what I can do? Can I go to another NhS hospital? I think the long wait is the fact they only do it once a week. GA freaks me out but I would still rather that only the wait for that is another 2 weeks. It feels like it’s already been dragging on so long and the anxiety of waiting to physically miscarry is awful. Paying privately isn’t really an option for me an DH but feeling so hurt at the waiting and the unknown. I want it to be over so I can move on - being in limbo for almost 2 weeks already has been awful. We were so over the moon to find out and would like to TTC again when I am healed emotionally and physically.

OP posts:
LadyBird2020 · 17/02/2020 08:03

@mrs173 I would ring the hospital again and push for something earlier. I found out I had a miscarriage on Thursday last week and I am in tomorrow for the operation. It's an agonising time and I don't think it's right you are having to wait so long. It's bad for your mental health. Keep trying and pushing and I hope you can get in sooner than they are saying. Wishing you all the best and sorry that you are having to go through this.

Ect90 · 17/02/2020 09:15

@LadyBird2020 I’m sorry for your loss 💔 it depends on the size whether they can determine if you have miscarried or not at that time, if too small they ask for you to return a week later and with no growth they offer you your options. Your little one must be big enough to determine what has happened. for me I haven’t yet returned for my next scan but I miscarried naturally at home. If I was unfortunate to experience this again that is not something I would choose, I think I would choose an mva or Erpc because for me there was far more blood than a heavy period and I was genuinely scared. It calmed down after about 7 hours and then I started again yesterday and the pain knocked me for 6 because I thought everything was finished on the Saturday, so I hadn’t kept on top of my pain relief before It started again. It’s not the most pleasant experience to say the least but I am ready to get back to normal and get back to work. Hoping we all catch pretty soon with health pregnancies and healthy babies. 🤞🏻🍀

LadyBird2020 · 17/02/2020 09:23

@ect90 sorry to hear you've been through the same. I am having the MMV tomorrow. The thought of the bleeding scared me and I go away for my 30th birthday on Wednesday so didn't want to have to deal with it then either.
I really hope we all get good news next time. It's shocking how common this is. Is nice to have a safe place to talk about it with people going through the same thing x

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 17/02/2020 09:24

A similar thing happened to me, went for a scan at 16 weeks and baby was measuring 12 weeks, and no heartbeat. I was given the choice of surgical management or natural passing - I was in massive denial and opted for the natural passing because I thought they were wrong and baby was still alive, and couldn't cope with the thought of surgical.

I started to lose within 2 days whilst at a job interview and it was awful. Huge clots, massive pain and i passed out in the walk in centre when the baby came out in the toilet. I ended up in hospital having a D&C because not everything had come away, I developed an infection and was in hospital for 4 days. It was traumatic and awful.

As a side, it is also probably not the most professional thing to do in a job interview to tell the hiring manager in a completely new organisation that if they want to contact me I am likely to be in hospital for the next few days because I'm having a MC. Thankfully they offered me the job despite my over sharing...

Ect90 · 17/02/2020 09:35

@LadyBird2020 I hope everything goes well for you tomorrow, as well as it can do anyway 💖 I hope you are able to enjoy your time away and are looked after by your close ones.

@AndNoneForGretchenWieners that sounds like an awful experience, who long ago did you miscarry, do you plan to try again? That’s good they gave you the job too. And I think they would of realised you wouldn’t choose to miscarry in an interview, so they can’t really question your professionalism on those grounds 🤣

LadyBird2020 · 17/02/2020 09:59

@Ect90 thank you so much. X

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 17/02/2020 10:05

It was a long time ago, 18 years. I think that ship has long sailed, my DH has died since. I didn't go on to have any more dc, although I did have several further MC, all much earlier in the pregnancy so not as traumatic. DS is a healthy and excellent 20 year old however so I am very lucky.

Ect90 · 17/02/2020 14:58

Sorry to hear that @AndNoneForGretchenWieners it sounds like you have a positive outlook 💖

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