Buying things for new baby

[RainMinusBow]

First off, I guess our financial situation isn't "the norm" and our set-up certainly isn't.

Currently 24 weeks' pregnant with my third child - first for my fiancé. I have two older boys exactly half of the time (court enforced) so get nothing at all in terms of maintenance from ex-husband or anything like that. Get CB for one son despite ex earning way in excess of £100k pa (he has an unemployed gf so just his income).

OH and I both work ft - my salary is just a tiny bit over £1k pm and his around £1,6/7k pm. We rent a property for £850 pm as not currently in a position to get a mortgage.

My q is... How should we be splitting costs for baby? So far I've purchased nearly all of her clothes and basic equipment, the vast majority being secondhand from ebay.

I've tried hard to manage with only a very few maternity basics but now it's becoming very uncomfortable - again, I've purchased all of a limited selection of secondhand mat clothes. Stuff like shoes I'm just currently using the one pair of boots but nothing superglue isn't currently holding together!

My parents have bought crib for baby and his parents have offered to buy the travel system. Still need a monitor but I can't really afford things like that on my own on top of everything else.

Fiancé puts £850 pm in my account but out of that comes all bills and a lot of food. We also try to save £50 a month out of my account. We pay for our own petrol etc. Boys events and clothes etc also come out of my account.

Roughly speaking, does this sound reasonable to you guys? I'm just not sure...

@DearGod you are missing the point. She is not better off than before - her council tax will be more and her food bill will be more as there is an additional person in the house. Her electricity may be more too.

The living expenses split seems fair but you need to get him to contribute to buy the baby things OP.

I realise this is probably simplifying things quite a lot but have you actually showed him a list of what you will need and gone shopping for things together?

My DH isn't/wasn't the type to make spontaneous purchases of left to his own accord and found the amount of stuff that we needed for a baby quite baffling and pointless so it was left to me to choose things - if he was with me he'd hand over the cash without me asking though.

@DearGod1 Not really as rent gone up from £700 to £850, no CT discount now and of course bills are all higher.

@Lalla525 Everything you said. It's surprised me how many people have said that as they're not his bio kids he therefore doesn't need to contribute but just pay for "himself" as it were. We are a family.

Support wise he's a brilliant stepparent in terms of what he does for the boys, but financially I guess I'd like him to work more as a team if that makes sense? It shouldn't be "my money, your money" should it?

@DearGod1 I'd be surprised if a huge majority of families where a couple are both working ft are coming out with less than around £2700 pm (some months less) and no maintenance on separation etc? But I'm happy to be corrected 😊