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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Private or NHS?

25 replies

Rosehip345 · 09/02/2020 13:10

Specifically addressed to those that have used both.
I have had one NHS pregnancy and two privately. I was going to have this one through the NHS but every single thing is just so below the same standard and I’m concerned now.
Any lovely positive feedback for NHS after using private services?

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Moomin8 · 09/02/2020 13:23

I haven't used both but I can tell you that having had a baby in December in an NHS hospital, the care was shocking and I ended up almost giving birth on the antenatal ward and told repeatedly that I wasn't in labour yet (baby born an hour afterwards).

My experience with my older children who are 18, 16 and 10 couldn't have been more different.

TheVeryHungryTortoise · 09/02/2020 13:25

If you can afford private take some pressure off the NHS and choose that.

Moomin8 · 09/02/2020 13:25

So yeah, the services they can provide have taken a sharp decline. My partner had wanted to use a private hospital but I said no. I think that after the fact I would now suggest going private if you can afford to.

Schmoozer · 09/02/2020 13:27

If you can go private, do so, let people with no option have a fighting chance ....
The NHS and it’s staff are literally on its knees 😢

Liverbird77 · 09/02/2020 13:45

Are you based in London?
I am in Manchester and would love to go private for my second in July, but there do t seem to be any around here.

paintfairy · 09/02/2020 14:04

How much does going private cost? Roughly?

Original poster

Rosehip345 · 09/02/2020 14:18

It’s about 6k.
No we’re closer to you in Manchester.

Honestly it’s the lack of care and being treated like a ‘case’ that has really put me off.

OP posts:

LillianFullStop · 09/02/2020 14:20

@paintfairy in London it would be about £15k for a VB with 1 night stay. ELCS would be more closer to £19k with 3 night stay. Hospital fee + consultant + anaesthetist + additional tests and scan fees.

paintfairy · 09/02/2020 15:54

Jeez. Not cheap then. But I agree the NHS is terrifying. I don't know how much longer it can carry on?

eyemask · 09/02/2020 16:06

As you'll know, the services throughout pregnancy are very similar if the pregnancy is going well. If you have concerns if you're private they're on it straight away. The money mainly buys you a better birth and aftercare experience and honestly after going private I'm not sure why you'd return to NHS, if you can still afford private. You only have to read some of the posts on here to see how barbaric NHS aftercare is.

Liverbird77 · 09/02/2020 16:42

@Rosehip345 of you wouldn't mind, please could you pm me the details of where is available?
I am pretty scared after my last experience, which was only in December 2018.
My baby was transverse but the midwife didn't realise, and was screaming at me to push for ages. The epidural went wrong. I haemorrhaged.
I was lucky to get a private room afterwards, in case I got that dural headache, however it wasn't exactly pleasant!

NameChange30 · 09/02/2020 16:48

I'm pregnant with DC2 and I plan to hire a birth doula to support and advocate for me during the birth.

With DC1 the NHS prenatal care was fine but the way I was treated by the first midwife during the birth was unacceptable. Some of the other staff were better but after the birth I was basically left to stew in my own blood for hours (they didn't offer me a fresh gown and bedsheets). Nice, eh.

I wouldn't go private for the whole thing because I'd rather keep my money and it's also the principle - we should all be entitled to decent maternity care on the NHS ffs, we shouldn't have to pay a fortune just to make sure we are treated like human beings.

If men gave birth it wouldn't be like this.

Charis1503 · 09/02/2020 17:29

I agree with other posters... ..much more affordable to hire a doula to stay with you throughout. Will ensure your needs are met and you have the additional support.

Spend the money on some home help for the first week or so to make it easier xx

Sussexmidwife · 09/02/2020 17:59

Better still, employ a private midwife!

NameChange30 · 09/02/2020 18:02

Are you a private midwife by any chance?!
If so how much do you charge? A lot more than a doula I'd imagine?

Original poster

Rosehip345 · 09/02/2020 18:08

it's also the principle - we should all be entitled to decent maternity care on the NHS ffs, we shouldn't have to pay a fortune just to make sure we are treated like human beings

OP posts:

maria2bela · 09/02/2020 18:10

I'm a doula, if charge about £1000 for a birth package within London, some of my private midwife friends charge £4000 for a full service during pregnancy/birth. Private midwife is great if you're having a home birth or like the luxury of antenatals being down in your home, but if having a hospital birth paying extra for a private midwife is pretty pointless because from the moment they enter the hospital with you, they are under the hospitals protocols and pretty much become a doula in that circumstance

Original poster

Rosehip345 · 09/02/2020 18:10

@eyemask I have found the antenatal care very very different actually. Much more about ticking boxes at the right points, much less individually tailored and just in general very impersonal.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rosehip345 · 09/02/2020 18:12

@maria2bela Are you a midwife by training? What would the benefits be to hiring a doula? It’s not a route I have looked at.

OP posts:

mynameiscalypso · 09/02/2020 18:15

I was totally set on having a private birth (all my other medical treatment is private) but I had a brilliant experience on the NHS. I was higher risk for MH reasons and couldn't fault the care at all; all the staff went out of their way to ensure that my wishes/needs were respected. My baby was delivered by the same consultant that O would have chosen if I'd gone private. In retrospect, I'm so glad I saved the money as it means I can take a full year of maternity rather than going back at 9 months.

RunningAwaywiththeCircus · 09/02/2020 18:18

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

NameChange30 · 09/02/2020 18:19

OP, the point of a doula is that they are not midwives by training. They have a different role.
doula.org.uk/about-doulas/

eyemask · 09/02/2020 18:30

Yes I suppose it does vary from place to place but the consultant I had in my first pregnancy (NHS) was the one I used in my second. He was fantastic for both. For me the marked difference was in the aftercare.

maria2bela · 09/02/2020 18:37

@Rosehip345 I'm not a midwife just a doula. I did a training course for this and was mentored by Doula UK for a while before being able to go out there on my own. Having a doula is consistency and support through your pregnancy/birth. They can do antenatals with you (not taking your blood pressure type) but the antenatal sessions like you'd have in the hospital but ore details and 1-1. Doulas during birth are fab because they already know your wants/wishes for your labour/birth and they work with you in the labour room to try and achieve this and make your experience as relaxing as possible.

If you google doula UK, click the find a doula search bar, out in your postcode, your local doulas will come up, you can message them and have a chat just to find out more info and if this would be a good option for you x

Sussexmidwife · 10/02/2020 10:44

I think it is really important to work out what is most important to you because there are huge differences in what you you are buting from a private hospital, a private obstetrician, a private midwife or a doula.
@Rosehip345 is there a particular aspect of your care that worries you? The pressure on NHS midwives now is extreme and so a lot of the personalised care, discussion of choices etc and actual "caring" are really difficult for them to give much of the time. You can employ a private midwife alongside the NHS, who can do all your antenatal care and postnatal care. If you want they can also be present as your supporter/advocate in labour in hospital, but insurance restricts what most hospitals allow us to do on their premises.
@Liverbird77 it sounds that you had a really poor and frightening experience. Fundamentally though that could happen in NHS or private - sounds like an inexperienced midwife, epidurals do sometimes not work however skilled the anaesthetist is and haemorrhages happen in any location, the difference is in the quality of staff and how they react. Even in NHS settings with "continuity of care" you don't get to select a midwife to care for you. If you pay you can interview them and work out who you feel confident with and who has the experience to give you the care you want and need.
The big differences between midwives and doulas is the role definition and the the education and training they have. A doula is fantastic if you mainly want practical support and care, but they do not have the same education and knowledge when it comes to complex decision making if things are not straightforward. In the situation @Liverbird77 describes a private midwife present in an advocate role would have been able to identify and articulate what was happening and ensure that appropriate and timely intervention occurred.
I am a big advocate of doulas and have in the past suggested to potential clients that a doula would be more appropriate than a private midwife. It is all about working out what you want and then finding who/where can provide that.
Happy to answer any questions about the potential role of private midwives in particular circumstances, either on her or by PM for privacy.

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