Any older mums? 40+?

[Magentastorm101]

I've just found out I'm pregnant. I turned 40 last year and tbh I'm scared to death!

Any other older mums out there?

Me and my husband have been married for 20 years and already have 6 beautiful children.

This was not planned or expected and tbh I'm in total shock. Also worried about how other people are going to react.

Any advice welcome!

What is specifically scaring you? You already have a large family so have plenty of skills and experience!
I know loads of people who had babies in their early 40s. My DS2 was born on my 40th birthday. He's 12 now and I had no problems in pregnancy or birth, and he has had absolutely no health or developmental problems, or any type of problem! My age has been a total non- issue. I thought I'd be the oldest mum at the school gates but there are lots of us who had babies in their early 40s- although 43 is the oldest I know personally.

That's so good to know!

I just know when I had my youngest that I was referred to as a geriatric mum then! I guess I'm worried about the extra issues that can arise with being older.

I'm also scared of other people's reactions. I know people already think we are a little insane for having such a large family.

What are you scared about?
I had first ds at 45, unplanned so quite an upheaval. Your body hasn’t stopped working at 40.
I admit I find The idea of 7 is pretty daunting though.
What’s it got to do with anyone else?

But if you are happy as a family and everyone is provided for, that’s lovely. I bet Your dcs are healthy and happy and well socialised as a result.
Other people’s views are irrelevant.

41 is fine also you have tons of experience and a few helpful babysitters, lucky you.

42 here, 3DCs and 3DCs and pregnant with twins. At the moment I'm coping with the disapproval by not telling anyone who might disapprove. So really, you aren't alone. Hang in there!!

Congratulations OP!

I'm 21 weeks and will be 42 by the time the baby arrives. I have consultant led care and will be having a c section, but my main complicating factor is that DS was a big baby (10lb 5). That's the bit they seem most concerned about.

This pregnancy got a lot better after 12 weeks. I didn't have much morning sickness with DS but this time I have struggled a bit. I've only just started putting weight on - think I'd put half a stone on by this point with DS. We're having a girl this time so I wonder if that's why, but I suppose all pregnancies are different aren't they?

At this point it's just nice to be rid of the 2 month long cold and have a bit of energy! I had DS at 39 so don't really have much of a point of reference in terms of saying whether it's harder as you get older, and I never got to labour with him either, even though he went 10 days over.

In terms of people disapproving, I've only really seen it on here with the smug little keyboard warriors. I think anyone with half a brain would hold back in real life, but if they didn't, I'd have no qualms in telling them where to go.

I had my first DD when I was 40 and no one time I thought I’m old or people said anything. I’m currently preg with my second one, ivf, and I’m 45...I lost one baby 2y ago, MMC. Ive already heard some stupid comments like if it was an accident or my husband got lucky on his bday etc..which were hurtful as I didn’t tell them it’s ivf, don’t want to be explaining myself to people, but decided just to ignore them and get on with my life...it’s about our family, other people don’t matter.

I turned 40 last year and I'm due this week. No problems so far other than being more tired than I was with dc1 (12 years ago). On the whole people have been really supportive - I've had a couple of cutting remarks about my age (primarily
From people who assumed this was a mistake and had no idea that we spent the last 8 years sure we couldn't conceive again). Tbh most of the nasty comments I've seen about "older" mums has been on here so I've just tried to avoid those posts as there seems to be some keyboard warriors who think that once you hit 35 you become an old lady overnight 🙄
Congrats on your new addition!!

I would say though that we haven't really told many people. Just a few close friends and family. If I bump into any of my ex colleagues (I didn't go back to work after DS was born and am self employed working from home), it's getting a bit obvious now so I'll cross that bridge if we come to it. I had 2 MCs last year and am waiting until after the baby is born (everything crossed), to make any announcements, in the expectation I'll be too happy to care about any snarky comments by then, plus I am quite anxious and don't want to jinx it.

I know a lady who's pregnant at 51! It wasn't IVF, it was completely natural. She has no other children and wasn't trying for a baby. Pregnancy is progressing well and baby seems healthy. I'm sure you'll be fine OP.