What do I do? Your thoughts please

[Cazzy198]

Hello,

I am currently 25+1 with my first child. I lost my first pregnancy to miscarriage may last year and I've had a few scares this time round (bleeding with a night in hospital) but thankfully baby is absolutely fine.

Devastatingly, my mum was diagnosed with terminal extensive small cell lung cancer around the time I feel pregnant with my current pregnancy (August 2019)and was given a max of 12 months expectancy.

I have found out today that one of my mums last wishes is to go away with all the girls in the family and she wants to do this at the end of April. Probably somewhere within the UK a few hours away.

I obviously want to do this and have been asked to arrange it however I have reservations about being hours away from home and hubby for a few days when I will be around 37 weeks pregnant.

What are you thoughts?

I keep flirting between it'll be fine, I'm worrying about nothing and all the what ifs about baby coming early

I went two hours away at 36 weeks but then at that point I was still travelling up to that distance during the working day anyway.

Would it not be an option to go away together but quite close to where you live? I don't think you're being unreasonable at all for not wanting to travel far at 37 weeks. Surely your DM will understand this?

I would go, but I would arrange it somewhere near a good maternity unit. And depending on how I was feeling nearer the time might arrange for my DH to be staying somewhere nearby.

Oh love x . I'd try to arrange something fairly close to home, but I'd go. Does she have a specific location in mind? You'll have your notes and you'll be fairly close to a hospital I imagine, even if it's not your local one.

I had my baby a 34+4 OP and she was in SCBU for ten days....wouldn't move her but let me out after three days. I would not want to be so far away from home. I wouldn't go an hour away to my in-laws for Christmas a month before just in case.

Sorry OP - I was 37+4!!

I’d go and not worry at all.

I would definitely go!

Personally, I wouldn't risk it, I'm too paranoid. I'd try to arrange something separate (perhaps even more special that way) with DM closer to home.

One half of me believes it will be fine, I'm sure there will be a hospital somewhere close to wherever we go and very likely hubby would get to me before I gave birth (unless I'm like my friend who was in labour for only 1hr )

The other part of me doesn't want to be away from my creature comforts, home and hubby as I've had a very very bad year and my MH has declined recently.

I dont know what my decision will be, I guess it will depend on where we go. My mum hasn't stated a preference for anywhere but doubt it will be local to me as most my family are 1-2 hrs away from where I live.

I also dont know how I'm going to feel physically at that stage or my mum.

I just dont want to let her down or her last wishes

So sorry to hear about your mum op, could hubby go and stay with you as well? Xx

Op I'm sorry to hear about your mum. I would bring the weekend away forward a couple of weeks so you'll be 34 or 35 weeks and less chance of labouring. I'm sure people can accommodate that?

Am failing to see the issue, if you went into labour you just travel home or give birth at a hospital that isn’t local to you. Chances are you won’t anyway.

Could your DH stay nearby in a Travelodge or B&B? Assuming you're not going to an island with a ferry needed to get you to a hospital, you'll be fine. Most major towns have a maternity unit and you'll take your notes with you.

If having your DH nearby and taking along your labour bag makes you feel more in control, I'm sure everyone will understand, and you'll get to spend the precious time with your mum.

I’d go but I’m not an overly anxious person. I’d just make sure to research local hospitals & have my OH on standby with a car able to drive to me. It’s the UK, you’ll most likely get great care wherever you are. And no, it wouldn’t be ideal but sometimes life throws you curve balls & you deal with them. It’s so unlikely you’ll go into labour at 37 weeks anyway..

Could you not explain your concerns to your mum? I’m sure she’d understand & you could find somewhere no further than say an hour or so away? You’d then be easily able to get home & to hospital. I live an hour away from my nearest hospital with maternity, it really wasn’t an issue last time. I stayed at home for the first 24 hours as my contractions kept stop/starting. Then when they became more established, off we went. Wasn’t the most fun drive I’ve ever had but we put on sing along songs & kept cheery between contractions!

Hope things work out OP 🧡

I have been hours from home at 36 weeks. Find somewhere in easy distance of a good, big hospital, take your notes, make sure your husband can travel easily if need be ( or could he even stay nearby). Do you have family or friends in other parts of the country and you could aim to be reasonably near them? Labour at 37 weeks is still very unlikely. Personally I would go because I think I would regret missing this event with my mum more than accidentally having a baby in the wrong hospital.

I have spoken to family who have agreed to move the date forward so I'm about 35 weeks instead and we are looking at travelling only a few hours because of my mums health.

Hubby has an annoying habit of turning his phone off at night so I've banned him from doing this. His mum died of cancer just before we got married and he had one last trip away with her beforehand so I couldn't ask for a more understanding partner.

I must say I feel about the idea having aired it on here. I always knew that not going wasnt really an option but it's just that life seems to throw us curveballs all at once and my decision making ability is completely shocking at the moment (normally I'm quite decisive and rational).