Is it easier if you already know how to look after a baby?

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I'm currently 16+5 and having a bit of a down day just thinking about becoming a mum and how difficult the newborn stage is going to be. I don't live near my family, they're a 3 hour drive away and only have my in-laws and no friends with kids. My husband has 0 experience with babies, has only held his niece once and some interaction with my nieces and nephew.

I'd say I have a lot of experience with babies, I grew up as the family baby sitter and have looked after newborns to kids. Also helped my sister with her kids, with her first she stayed in my room a few times and I helped out with night time feeds etc. I can tell when they're hungry, windy, tired, need nappy changes etc.

I know this does not prepare me for full motherhood and having a baby that I will constantly be looking after but do you think this kind of family life prepares anyone at least a little bit? I'm hoping this will all help me in some way.

I didn’t find it easier. That might be because I wrongly thought it would make it easier and it turns out the unrelenting exhaustion pays no mind to your experience and drives rational thought from your brain.

What DID help was honesty when times were difficult and making friendships. It will be tough but you will be okay.

Oh and they do get bigger and easier!

I think it helps a little.. but not as much as you’d hope since every baby seems to have their own ideas and you don’t get the same tiredness/hormones/pain baby sitting than you get with your own.

But it might mean you know how to pick up a newborn confidently, make a bottle properly and to the right temperature, change a poonami without going over their head and other bits that come in handy.

And you could be a jammy bugger who gets a nice easy calm baby who eats n sleeps like clock work.. don’t worry about it now, you’ve got a long time to go and it won’t make it any easier.

I can tell when they're hungry, windy, tired, need nappy changes etc.

You know so much more than me! Im planning to wing it. Isnt that what everyone does anyway to some extent or another?

No, I knew literally nothing about babies when I had mine. Caring for my child was absolute instinct - I still wouldn't be confident with anyone else's baby, but mine was always second nature

No because other peoples babies are different to ones own. You don,t get the break, you don,t have the emotional distance. You are probably not in a parenting capacity before.

I grow up in care so no support at all, no friends due to extreme anxiety too. I fell pregnant at 21 and was terrified as it was just me and my partner. I brought up my brother but with us being so close in age there was only so much I could do for him growing up. i had no idea what to do, one minute im pregnant and my son is safe inside me the next hes handed over to me and I've got to get my shit together.. and I did. hes now 14months and it turns out I knew what I was doing, you learn as you go. mothers instinct does exist for some people. my partner kinda copied me and we managed fine. the new born stage is the best! you're tired, hungry and emotional 99% of the time but the cuddles and milestones achieved are worth it. my tiny terror is wild and still doesnt sleep. but you manage, dont doubt yourself x

I felt it was a big help. I was more confident at so many aspects of looki g after a newborn than my friends who had babies at the same time. I think it's because I was already confident at holding/dressing/changing newborn.

I imagine it would probably help a little in the first few days, e.g. with knowing how to change a nappy, how to hold them, etc. But, I had no experience with babies prior to DD and figured out all of the practical stuff really quickly anyway, because I had to. To be honest the difficult part is the tiredness, not knowing how to do the practical things. But don’t terrify yourself, it’s hard work but also amazing, and you’ll manage, especially if sharing the load with DH.