Please make me feel better about a 28 month age gap.

[BecauseReasons]

Conceived rather more easily than expected second time around and will now have a 28 month age gap between DD and DC2. Feeling a bit regretful because I'm worried it'll ruin everything and be really difficult and upsetting for DD. Anyone got any positive stories to share?

Hi OP
I've just found out I'm expecting number 2 - there will be 25 months between mine. If it helps - I'm terrified! The excitement hasnt really hit yet (only found out on Sunday) - I just cant see how I'm going to look after 2 small people!

That's not a small age gap and I think you're worrying about nothing. I have 19 months between my two (and that's taking into account a very overdue birth).

That’s a perfectly average age gap, op?

You really have nothing to worry about. My sister and I are about 19 months apart and have always been close, despite a lot of fighting as kids. DH and his sister are 24 months apart and are similarly close.

My two are nearly 3 years apart. Each gap has advantages and disadvantages.

You can make time for your toddler which the baby is asleep or read to them while feeding etc. Or ask your DH/Mum or whoever is around to mind the baby for a couple of hours while you take the toddler out.

I think your worries are natural with any age gap. I’m about to have my second and the advice I was given is don’t let well meaning people always play or take out your eldest, instead if people want to help get them to sit with the baby so you can still cuddle and play with your older child.

I think what you're having is the classic 'omg I'm pregnant shock my which most people have even if the baby is planned and the age gap is your way of justifying it.

That may well be the case. Thank you. I am probably fixating on it more than is warranted- I did suffer from anxiety last pregnancy.

@NeverGotMyPuppy it is a sobering realisation isn't it?

Thanks @cliffdiver that's really helpful. What tips do you have for smoothing the transition?

@Jessie9323 good luck! I have a couple of friends with a 1 year age gap between their DC and it's worked out well for them. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Mine are 30 months apart and I think it’s about perfect. They are close enough to be able to play together “properly” for a long time, yet far enough apart to be separate people. The older one is of an age to start being a bit independent (going to preschool etc), which gives them “their thing” and gives you some 1 on 1 time with your baby.

I’m expecting second and there will be less than 3 years between them. I’m hoping it will end up being a great age gap as they will be able to play together. Scared about how knackering will be tho! Did others who have small-ish gaps keep the same childcare arrangements for the first one while on leave with the second or did you have them both at home ?!!

Another person saying that is a totally normal age gap! The age gaps between my DC are 23 months, 20 months and 24 months. It’s worked out great so far!

@latheritup ummmm read the post the op is worrying about the first child having (in your words) “an annoying little sibling” around and you’ve confirmed it. She WANTED the bigger gap but only has 2 years

I have a 28 month age gap between my two girls. My eldest loves her little sister to bits and my youngest (9 months) loves and laughs at her big sister and it's so lovely.

I think it's a pretty average age gap!

I could have written this myself. Currently feeling exactly as you were when you wrote this - any advice now looking back as it was 2/3 years ago? I’m so worried how LO will adjust with the 2,4yr gap and unable to enjoy pregnancy as I am so worried about LO. Help!

28 months I'd say is a perfect age gap

Sounds like a perfect gap to me. There's 30 months (2 and a half years) between my DC. DD has adored DS from the moment he arrived into her life. She's so proud of him, and it's honestly wonderful seeing them grow up together. Especially now they're starting to entertain each other. I know if I go on to have a third, I'd aim for around the same age gap

Thank you so much for your reply, reading this does make me feel better and less guilt.

Thank you!

Isn't that a very normal age gap, OP?

My brother is 28 months younger than me. We used to fight a bit as kids but overall I think it's a good age gap and it meant we were usually able to play together and do the same things.

I'm expecting my second any day now and there will be a 21 month age gap between my two.

Hello, curious as to how you finally got along with your pregnancy and how are you doing with the kids now? I am in exactly the same position. Wanted a bit more of an age gap thought it will take a couple of months but bang it happened and now have a 28th month due date. Stressing myself out for not sitting down and calculating it correctly. Funnily I would have been happy with 30! Just because LO would’ve hit the 2.5 year mark and it would suddenly feel bigger.

This is a normal gap