Combined feeding support

[Akasia]

Hi all, wondering if I can get some advice from someone who's been through similar.

Have a 6d old newborn.

DAY 1-2 in hospital, she's not fed at all as she couldn't latch on and midwives did not allow me to give her formula, instead insisted I keep trying to breastfeed. This led to a poorly jaundiced baby and only then, a nurse recomended formula to get her better. She took to the pre made bottle beautifuly and could see how hungry she was. Pattern was 45ml formula, sleep 3-4h and then formula again.

DAY 4 she upped her formula intake to about 70ml sleep 3h. All this whilst continuing to try the breast. Tried breast shields and she managed to latch on and feed quite nicely but still hungry so topped up with more pre made formula.
Did not breastfeed at night, only formula and she was quite restless most of the night.

DAY 5 breastfeeding visit from midwife, she was happy with baby latch on nipple shield, insisted I continued breastfeeding although explained baby not content after just breast. Tried new bottles (bigger) as 70ml not enough anymore. All in all she had about 3 different teats on this day. Cried and fussed all night.

DAY 6 breastfed pretty much non stop 10am to 3pm with nipple shield on, barely slept, keeps giving hungry cues so tried pre made bottle. Half way through as she's dozing off starts getting angry like she doesn't know how to suckle anymore

Is this normal?? I feel like I am starving her and keep doing the wrong thing. I am at a point where I feel like going formula only and try pumping to keep milk supply on just in case, but what is the right thing to do? Just want a happy baby that is full and rested.

Do what YOU want to do. Sounds like if you want to bf then you may need some help, HV breastfeeding support group etc. If you dont, formula is absolutely fine and good!
But the fact ANY midwife has told you not to bottle feed let alone stopped you is absolutely disgraceful and needs a complaint.

A fed baby is better than a hungry baby. Full stop. Only you know your baby, so do whats right for you both.

Im 34 weeks preggo with my 1st, so have no direct experience. I have a friend who had trouble with BF. She let the baby latch at her nipple before a formula feed to keep the stimulus going, then would formula feed. In the end the baby took to breast feeding.

My heart goes out to you - the early days establishing feeding is so hard and I’ve been in the position you’re in twice. Both my babies struggled so much with gaining adequate weight through breastfeeding and I was also reluctant to top up because I thought it would ruin any chances to breastfeed. I tried so hard with frequent feeding and expressing in between when I wasn’t feeding and was given a complicated chart to fill in by the hospital to record each feed, the amount of time, the amount of top up... it was exhausting and such a source of stress. But the most important thing, as previous posters have said, is that the baby is fed. I found seeking the help of sensible friends at this point helped, and I don’t want to be another source of pressure to you in either direction. But what I wish someone had told me is: there are 2 people involved in breastfeeding, you and the baby, and you need to make the decision that is best for both of you. In the end, my first child (who struggled to latch on) went to 100% formula within a couple of weeks because his weight had dropped so much, but my second child (who liked the breast but who also struggled badly with gaining weight from it) went onto bottles quickly but I was still breastfeeding him 2.5 years later (by then more for comfort / extra as he didn’t need the milk itself). I’ve also read on here from women who topped up at the start and then were able to continue with exclusive breastfeeding, and women who moved to formula quickly and happily stayed there. The most important thing is to find a way of feeding that is effective for you in your situation, and nobody should be telling you that you can’t give formula - it is your choice to make. I really hope things improve for you soon.

Thank you so much ladies, read your replies yesterday and really helped me make peace with my decision.

We're going mainly on formula especially for nightfeeds, will continue pumping as it is going well at the moment and try to offer breast throughout the day to keep her interest. If she manages to latch properly when she's stronger brilliant, if not, we have pumped milk and formula.
Yesterday was such a difficult day with so many tears, but today was lots better. Never thought that this would be the most difficult thing as a new mother.

@Secondsop I know exactly what you mean about the hospital chart, I have been given it and found it so stressful as I knew they were going to moan I've not tried breast as much as they wanted me to.

@Amanduh it seems to me that midwives, health visitors etc are being brainwashed into saying that only breastfeeding works and one actually said that they're not allowed to encourage formula, but when a baby's not feeding why oh why? I personally can't seem to be getting any support from them. Next step will be a bf support group. Watch this space 😄 I am considering putting though a complaint as whole experience was quite traumatising.

@letsallscreamatthesistene all the best with ypur pregnancy. Your way of thinking is so much better than mine was when pregnant (as I thought breast is the only way to go) so you are already in a much better place.

Great to read that you’re finding a way through @Akasia. It’s really really great that pumping is going well for you - I never got on with it although hand expressing was ok for me - frequent pumping will set you up really well. I think midwives are sometimes in a tricky position because a decision to stop breastfeeding is (generally) very hard to reverse so it’s not easy for them to recommend other methods, but I completely agree that support for other ways of feeding is sometimes really lacking. I remember being strongly encouraged to breastfeed and being made to feel that the only reason a woman might not breastfeed is if she didn’t know enough about it or somehow felt embarrassed about it - whereas with the best will in the world my babies were not thriving on it. All the best for the coming weeks and months.

Sorry just one more tip re pumping - when you’re feeding her formula at night, it can be very good for your supply to pump at the same time so that you’re pumping as frequently as possible and in particular during the early hours of the morning. I wouldn’t have said this if you weren’t already doing well at pumping because otherwise it is just another thing to think about but if you are happily pumping then hopefully this helps you make it as effective as possible.