Pregnant but my partner doesn’t want it?

[Honeymoon21]

Hi everyone,

Last year I found out I was pregnant and me and my partner were both over the moon and so excited then unfortunately I had a miscarriage.

It was a horrible time but we got through it. I wanted to keep trying but my partner then decided he wasn’t ready so reluctantly I went back on birth control.

About a month ago we moved house to a new area and I’ve started a new job which is the start of my career. In the craziness of the move I misplaced my birth control...I told my boyfriend and he told me if I get pregnant he doesn’t want it. I have since then found the birth control and began taking it again.

Today I took a pregnancy test after being 2 days late for my period and lo and behold I am pregnant. I want to be excited but I KNOW he won’t want it and now I’m so scared.

I don’t even know how to tell him, we’ve been going through such a rough patch recently too.

I don’t want to get rid of the baby it would break my heart, but at the same time I don’t think it’s the right time to start a family either.

Please give me some advice 😔 xx

Hi OP,

Massive hugs to you for all you've been through. Do you think that perhaps the shock of having something so wanted, sadly taken away may have affected him? Maybe he's just really scared that it could happen again so now he wants to avoid pregnancy at all costs?

I think you need to take a couple of days to yourself to come to terms and process. If you want this little one, then you should never feel you have to put a stop to that for anyone else. I definitely think decide for yourself what you want to do.

I'd just got started into my dream job and fell pregnant so I wrestled with that for a while but, having a baby for some people is more important and the job is there to go back to. I'm also moving house a month after baby is due so for me, it's not an 'exact' time, but if we waited until there was a completely 'perfect' time to have a family, I'm not sure it would be so common!

Once you know what you want to do, I think you do need to tell him. Explain how you feel but try and be supportive to how he might feel too. Thoughts can change and he may decide he does want a baby once he gets more involved but as long as you're happy with whatever you decide, that's important. Good luck with whatever you decide ❤️

Whatever you do, get rid of him.

What do you want and are you happy to be a single parent if you want to go ahead with your pregnancy?

I suspect your relationship won’t last either way because either you will resent your boyfriend for you ending your pregnancy or else he will think you intentionally became pregnant and forced him into it.

Congratulations OP!

I understand as you've had a baby taken from you in the past it's so difficult to comprehend having to make the decision to end this one's life. The mental effect that could have on you could be awful, I had a friend who went through it.

Are you capable of raising the baby without him? Big hugsxx