So I'm due today and I'm absolutely fine with the fact that clearly nothing is going to happen. I was so desperate for my first to arrive that I was begging for stretches and sweeps etc, they told me he estimated nearly 11lbs and kind of forcefully pushed me to an induction. It was awful..... ended in a scary emergency c-section. Turns out he just wasn't ready!! Had months of problems after. So this time I'm hypno birthing, anti intervention where there isn't a medical urgency. Obviously wouldn't do anything to put baby at risk just want nature to decide.
I am struggling with absolutely everything else though. I dont know if it's fear or hormones or if my anxiety is playing up again but I feel like my 20 month old has turned into SATAN! my husband is basically switched off completely, I think my mum thinks I'm insane as I use her to vent do all she gets is blah blah blah and I feel like all my friends are being judgy, or grumpy and basically, just feel like I'm falling apart. I told my husband I need a hug, he's not affectionate AT ALL, I've asked a few times and still nothing. I still make an effort to look ok and I'm exhausted and I keep saying I'd like to have sex more but nothing......... Just feel like I can't catch a break from any direction.
I guess I just need to vent and thought here would be good. X