Time off work after chemical pregnancy

[Elephantonascooter]

I need a bit of advice please.
I had DS 16 months ago, suffered with PND which perked up around 9 months in.

I had a copper coil fitted about a year ago.

About 3 weeks ago I had the most awful tummy cramping, never had anything like it. I suspected I was pregnant but waited for period which eventually turned up about a week late. From the moment the tummy cramps started I knew I was miscarrying. The heaviness of the period, the uncontrollable tears, the clotting. It was awful. It eventually stopped but because I didn't test, i don't know for sure. However, the emotions I have felt have been so overwhelming and I know it was a mc just unconfirmed.

I really know I need some time off to come to terms with my emotions, have my coil checked and dealt with etc but I cannot bring myself to talk about what's happened without seizing up and bursting into tears.
What do I do? Do I go to the gp but I might not get the words out and just cry? Do I just carry on and go to work? I've stopped myself telling my boss so many times for fear of not being able to say anything because Im so upset each time.
I enjoy my job and don't want to loose respect there but the overwhelming emotion is getting to me. What do I do next?
Thanks

I don't think there's anything wrong with shedding a few years with your doc, or even your employer. I've had two chemical pregnancies and it's hard. I took a couple of days off but just called in sick and my doc wrote me a note. Hope you start to feel better xxx

Hey OP - I don't want to sound insensitive at all but how can you be 100% sure if was a MMC?? I clot during some periods, some are heavier than others, some I feel emotional and some I don't. It's really REALLY unlikely you fell pregnant with the coil and you cannot be sure as you never tested.

Are you sure you deep down aren't craving another child and it's made your mind think maybe it was a pregnancy??

I had a chemical last month and I was devastated. However I am actively TTC and knew as soon as AF arrived it was time to move on ad be positive for the next cycle. If I was you, I would try and just think this was a bad period (which it likely was) and try not to be so upset at something that likely didn't happen. I know this sounds insensitive (and I don't mean it), I just wish you could see it differently. I would try and carry on your daily life where you can, dwelling over something that you aren't sure on will only make yourself worse. Sadly chemicals and miscarriages are so so common and we have to move on with life.

I would also add in a very kind way that pregnancy on the copper coil is very unlikely.. and without testing something you’ll never really know..

I’m a copper coil user & some months, my periods are bizarrely heavy! I have very regular cycles but every now & again (maybe a couple times a year), I have a period that’s about a week late and the bleeding is insane! I have to change a max, super tampon every 45 minutes for 3 days straight & I have huge clots. I literally have to curl up in a ball from the pain & often have a sick couple days from work! The period also drags on for 8/9 days.

I’ve always found these periods very strange & annoying so I went to my doctor. She actually suggested that it could be caused by an anovulatory cycle, so no ovulation occurs. The lack of ovulation both causes the late period & the very heavy bleeding.

But not to discount the possibility entirely, it is of course reasonable to take a couple days to process your feelings. Just call in sick to work? You can have up to 5 working days with no doctors note, so just feign sickness or something? Your doctor will have had plenty of people cry on them before, don't worry. I’m sure they’ll be kind!

Head up OP. I think as you will never really know, give yourself a little time & then move forwards. If you are actively using contraception, I assume there’s a reason you don’t want another baby right now..!

Did you post this on AIBU?

Have you posted again because you didnt get good enough advice? As I recall people pretty much said if you feel you need to take time, then take time off. I wouldnt go to the GP with one chemical pregnancy, they cant do much about it. Unless there was underlying depression, anxiety surrounding this?

@Letsallscreamatthesistene hmm I;ve just seen this too.

I'm a bit confused by this post. If you have the coil surely you don't want another baby? And you haven't done a pregnancy test so can't confirm if it was a chemical but are devastated and convinced that it was? I know I'm sounding really insensitive but I don't get this - women have chemicals all the time and carry on as normal as devastating as it is? I think the OP has other anxiety issues here/looking for a reason or approval to take time off work? You don't need to come to mumsnet for that approval. And the GP won't do anything for your chemical but it may be worth seeing them for other issues you have that are bothering you.