Hi everyone, I just signed up to Mumsnet today and wanted to have a little post of how I'm feeling because I'm gonna send myself insane if not. Just over a year ago I lost my 3 year old boy, he was my only child and my absolute world he died because of hospital negligence which I'm currently fighting for his justice and making positive steps in the right direction. This week we have just found out we're expecting again I'm around 5+2, although I'm over the moon to be sent a little rainbow baby from my angel in the sky I'm also terrified about so many things. I'm scared because I've been having mild cramps and my anxiety is going through the roof that I'm gonna lose this baby because I lost my son I started doing what I shouldn't and googling it and it made me so much worse I'm so scared, I'm also scared that people will judge because I lost my son over a year ago I'm doing it too soon, I loved my son more than words could describe and I will always be his mummy but I also really really miss being a mummy too doing the little things and it breaks my heart everyday. And finally I'm also scared about being a mummy again, as happy as I am I just can't shake the anxiety of being a mummy and doing it right and having a healthy pregnancy and baby or what people will think I'm so sorry for the long post and I'm also in counselling I have been since I lost my son just with finding out I was pregnant again I felt like this would be a good place to share how I was feeling and see if anyone had a similar experience? Thank you.