Stop trying for a bit?

[Cherry678]

Hi, I need some advice please
I'm 33 later this year, we started ttc in November but no luck.
I know you can't plan these things, but as a teacher I'd like to try and many do and are successful. So due to finances and mat pay we'd prefer to have a child born either just before summer holidays or between Sept-early Nov.
Now, we're pushing into Feb and if we were lucky to conceive and carry to full term, a baby would be due in Nov. I'd probably take mat leave starting just after Oct half term, so timetabling wouldn't be affected, I'd just be on "cover".
Problem is obviously we can't guarantee our fertility. My cycles are all over the place kind of... twice since last May I've had long cycles, one 47days the other 60! I've had blood tests but it's all clear, will be arranging a scan when I get a chance.
Should we just ignore the rough due date planning and just go for it or play safe again until September/October and start trying again then?
Sorry if this makes no sense!

Babies never ever come as you would like them too, personally you don’t know how long it will take to conceive so I’d just keep going and not have a break. Ds1 I fell pregnant whilst on the pill wit, dd2 it took 12/13 months!

When we stayed trying we wanted an Autumn baby for the advantage it gives at school and in sports. Many years and four rounds of IVF later we had a march baby, and another four rounds later were expecting a May baby. IME, don't stop trying.

I’m also a teacher and don’t understand why you would want MAT leave to start just before the summer holidays. We started TTC in December 2019 and it took us 13 cycles. I am 7 weeks now and, all going well, I’m due in September. That way I get the summer to relax but still be paid.

I’ll add that DD was born in January and is flying at school.

It's normal to take up to a year to conceive so I suggest you just try without the planning of your mat leave. That really is not important. Also, long cycles can be a sign of pcos so if you spend a year TTC without succes you might want to do some tests.

Thanks everyone. @BeingATwatItsABingThing obviously after good is best for mat leave bonuses but my thinking was if it's just not possible, then it works at the end of a year of mat leave to go back on a technicality of let's say even 1 day as full time before the hols to get paid then, not as good as birthing after, but that would be one bonus. I know a few who have done this.

I know in my heart we shouldn't try to plan, and things down there might be 100%. Long cycles are a sign of pcos I know, like I said I'm being investigated, bloods are done, I just need to get my arse in gear and arrange a scan. However, the change in cycle length is new. Never had it before, not sure why it would start now at 32?

I even know may not ever happen for us but, we'll cross that road in the future, adopting or fostering is always an option.

And I know it's early days, I'm not heartbroken, conception is difficult and I fully expected it to take it's time.

Wish it was simpler though and I could be like all the other teachers I know who've gone down this road!

Thanks all!

Bloody hell, typing on my pad is horrendous!
Corrections: good should be sept/ NOT 100%/ it may not/!

I've read that it's pretty normal for cycles to lengthen in your early 30s, it happened to me too and I don't have PCOS.

I'm a teacher too and it took us more than 18 months to conceive. Definitely don't try to game it and plan for an ideal birth date: you could easily end up never conceiving if you don't try every cycle (because it's only approx 20% chance of success each cycle). We would still be trying now if we'd only tried a few months every year. Work is work, it's not as important! And I say this as someone who's pretty pleased with my career so far. So what if your baby is born sometime "inconvenient" like november, you really won't care by then.

@Umberta thank you! Your message has helped me organise my thoughts and you are so right Xxxx

@Cherry678 🥰

Why would you want maternity leave to start before the summer holidays? I'm due early October and personally I'm pretty chuffed I'll get the whole summer holiday off, pop back to work for a few weeks (no class or anything!) then go off for 9 months. Then go back to work for a half term then get a whole new summer holiday off 😆

As a teacher and someone who had to struggle with infertility and IVF for years -I really would not give a second thought to timing and keep trying. I have two other teacher friends who sadly have followed the same path as me and one is years later still suffering from infertility and on and off the long IVF train with no success so far. Best of luck.