10 weeks pregnant; feeling so emotional; strain on relationship with DP?

[IslayBrigid]

Hi everyone

I'm nearly 10 weeks pregnant. Just sending out a little call for support because I feel like I am constantly arguing with my DP about things and I know it is because my hormones are all over the show at the moment, and I feel sick constantly, but I just feel so guilty about it.

I feel like we fluctuate between being happy and playful together to then arguing about one thing or another, some big, some small. Last night I ran to the toilet to throw up (only second time I've spewed even though I'm nauseous nearly all day, every day) and DP was in the next room and could definitely hear me but he didn't come and see if I was OK and didn't even really ask if I was OK when I came out of the bathroom. I felt so unsupported and instantly had a go at him. At the time he was still doing some work (he was working from home) and was quite stressed with it, so I do understand why he might not have realised my own distress. I also think maybe pregnancy is normalising things like being emotional and spewing etc and he just thought it was normal? I explained it was only second time I'd spewed and he said he was sorry and I asked if next time if he heard me if he could come and see if I was OK and he said of course. I honestly just don't think he realised how shitty it was for me.

He is one of the most lovely, supportive, helpful men ever, we have a very equal and loving relationship, he's doing heaps round the house atm as I am often too sick to do things. So I now just feel guilty about my outburst and it did seem to make him a bit down. But then it could be his stress about his work too and that is another thing pregnancy is making me do more; take everything personally!

I don't really know what I'm looking for in posting this... I guess maybe some advice on how to not argue with DP during pregnancy? Reassurance it gets better? Haha. Advice on how to handle the emotional ups and downs?

Last week I was weeping about being home sick; this week feeling depressed about arguing with DP; what will it be next week?!

I really hope after the first trimester these emotions quieten down :(

Bump x

Another bump....?

@IslayBrigid Hey! Not sure if I have any advice as such, but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone! I'm nearly 10 weeks also, and my DH sounds very similar to yours. He's an absolute gem and such a good person but I find myself snapping and having ridiculously high standards about stupid things. I have to sometimes catch myself before I am about to say something, and I try to remind myself that he is never going to be able to understand fully how it feels to be pregnant, tired, sick etc, and worried because it's still so early! He is very much in a happy bubble about the pregnancy and he helps in any way he can when he knows what he is supposed to do. I suppose, maybe just consider whether what you're going to say is worth the follow up argument? For example, is it something minor that actually in the grand scheme of things isn't a big deal? (I'll try and take my own advice as well 😂) I think I'll be a bit more relaxed (hopefully) when I'm out of the first trimester!

Hey @GalaxyGirl24, thanks for your response :) Yes you are right, it's worth trying to think rationally about it before reacting/getting upset - if only that was easier! At the moment I feel guilty about nagging him, even though I know I shouldn't, because the hormones are real. I totally think it must be the hormones and sickness and uncertainty about the pregnancy being so early etc! I haven't had any early scans as excited to see the baby for the first time at 12 weeks. I'm not really super anxious about something going wrong with baby (thankfully) but the hormonal changes seem to be manifesting in upset on other topics! Oh well. Yes I so hope that after the first trimester things settle down. I guess identifying things that help us feel good, and doing those things, would be a good start.
I just feel so .... stretched, emotionally and physically! And the baby is only an inch long!

Yes I definitely feel like my moods are a lot more extreme @IslayBrigid ! I do keep reminding my DH that when I snap I don't mean it! I'm glad you're not feeling anxious as that's an extra stress! I'm quite a worrier and we've had 3 private scans already 🤦🏾‍♀️ which has helped a little but truth be told, I will worry up until the moment that I meet the baby and forevermore afterwards. I think there's a lot said about how difficult the first trimester is due to hormones. It's so weird not being able to tell anyone what's going on yet! Roll on second trimester.

@GalaxyGirl24 yes everything is heightened 😬
I think I recognize your name, are you in the bfp August / September group? Or maybe we were in same TTC group if we are about the same amount of weeks along 🙌🙂
I just had a big cry as my bestie said she didn't think I've been myself lately and it really just hit home. The hormones are just so intense and making me a sadder, more anxious and less motivated person!
It is ups and downs tho!
I have told a few people tbh as I'm not a very patient person. But definitely holding out for the 12 week scan to properly announce it! Will you announce after the 12 weeks? Sounds like it is your first baby too? 🙂

Yes I am in the August/Sept 2020 group @IslayBrigid , thought I recognised your name also! And yes it is my first, and it seemed like we were TTC for ages (in reality it ended up as only 9 months) but more worry/stress as my hormones were all over the place. I had conceived the first month I started Accupuncture !

Glad you had a good chat with your bestie, it does help being able to offload honestly to someone! I was ranting today to one of mine, bless him. He's aware of the hormone struggle though as his sis recently had a baby. Also my other bestie who has 2 kids, one a baby still, was saying how she remembers just being tired and meh all the time in the first trimester.

I'm in the same boat as you, I feel lacklustre and just dull at the moment. People at work have commented if I'm ill as I don't seem as lively as usual, and they don't yet know I'm pregnant.

I'm impatient also and told my parents, sister and DH mum as well as very close friends of me and DH only. However everyone else will find out after the 12 weeks scan, maybe even later, not sure. I may just tell family after the scan and announce it to wider people as and when.