Pregnant, moved countries, totally homesick

[auslass]

Hey guys, new to UK, be gentle

DH is English, I'm Aussie. DH and I met, and lived in Sydney for about 11 years before he expressed an interest in coming home. He got a job no problem so he could transfer, but we were also trying to give IVF a go and I didn't want to delay it. By some miracle it all worked first go, expecting our first girl May.

Only problem is I feel totally isolated being here. My company is global and has been great about letting me work remotely and try and find a transfer. But being pregnant has made finding a job so hard. All the jobs I interviewed for on the phone suddenly dried up as soon as I got here, when people could see I was pregnant.

So I'm not getting maternity benefits and will finish up in April. No pay, no g'tee job. I was the one who earned the most so having no income and no way of contributing makes me feel super useless.

So I'm really struggling. Feeling alone, isolated with no friends or family here, just in laws, and feeling pretty alone and dependent. I just cry a lot now.

Any advice? Will I stop feeling so homesick? Will having the baby in May make it a bit better? Maybe its the pregnancy hormones giving me a kick around in the depression department.

Sorry this was a long post xx

Sorry you are feeling so low. Sounds like a hard time.

We moved house about a year before having a baby and I found after she arrived I got to know much more people locally through baby groups etc. Maybe worth trying some sort of pre-natal class (e.g. yoga) to meet other mums-to-be? A good way to meet folk who will be off on maternity leave soon.

Is there any sort of studying you could do for the next few months to keep your mind busy if you are not able to find work? Maybe find a course that would help you when you are planning to go back after the baby?

So sorry to hear your feeling so low. I cant answer if it will go away but maybe getting out with baby to baby groups and things you'll make some friends and have different social things you can do. Are you planning on returning to work once you've had your baby girl?

Sorry youre having a tough time, it will get better and you will settle (Ive done it so trust me ).

Are you paying tax in the UK, can you claim maternity allowance?

You are probably feeling lower than you would in normal circumstances because you are pregnant and that's difficult so hopefully once you have the baby that will get better.

Welcome to the UK!

What are you interested in? Easiest way to meet new people is to get stuck in with stuff. Easier said than done when you're feeling lonely so maybe try one be thing a week until you find your tribe.

Some people find NCT helpful for meeting mum friends.
I've heard good things about pregnancy yoga too (lovely classes near me I'm looking forward to going to when I hit 13 weeks).
Then there's all the non baby stuff! Book groups? Local XR or friends of the earth groups?
Are you religious? A lot of people find support from their religious groups, even if they've been out the scene for a while.
You'll be grand
Also, all British people are miserable in this weather. We're all quietly waiting for daylight. Actually that's a point, I've recently fallen in love with my sad lamp. Lack of sunlight won't be helping this time of year.

Hey Auslass. I have sent a private email to you xxx

Hey! Welcome to the UK!

Think about your interests, are they something you could carry on with here and being pregnant?

I think get involved with NCT or an equivalent. It'll make you meet other people.

I saw your other thread about finding a new house and viewing grotty houses. Must be even worse when you're house hunting too

I was you about 20 years ago 😊.
It does get better. But don’t lose who you are.
Have a good think: where do you want to have the baby, here or in Sydney? Where is the support? Where would you be ok?

There’s nothing to say you can’t go home to have the baby and then come back. Or talk to your H and both go back.

That’s one option.
The second one is to make the most of what you have now. Arrange for friends and family to come and visit you. I still have the same aquaerobic friends I made when I was 6 months pregnant, join NCT, pregnancy yoga classes etc. I started Pilates for pregnancy when I was 5 months pregnant, I still go to Pilates religiously after all these years!!!

My job was not transferable when I came to UK, so I had to retrain. I started when my DD was 1. Qualified the day she started primary school.
I have a fantastic group of friends, life is good. So it doable.

Either way, focus on what’s important to you. Hugs.