Worried now

[Delbelleber]

Last week the babies hb was 148. Yesterday I had the consultant. I was very upset about things going on in my life with the babies dad and I cried through the whole appointment. They did the babies hb at the end and it was 164.
Why has is gone up so much? Is it my fault? The consultant said it was because the baby is active moving around but I don't know, I was so upset so I don't know if she would have said anything to further upset me.
Ive tried not to think about it but of course I am worried because it seems a lot higher than last week

How far a long in pregnancy are you? I think it's normal for the heartbeat to go up quite a lot. In fact as I understand it the heartbeat varying and going up is what they look for as good signs on monitoring (I'm no medical expert, just what the midwife said when I went in for reduced movements).

Hmm OK. I'm 22+2

No wait I'm 23+2

Well they move about loads so their active heart rate will be much less than their resting heart rate.

It seems to be in normal range for moving around.

Also when they're poked and prodded with the ultrasound wand, it tends to make them jumpy!!

How are you feeling? Would you like to talk?

Active heart rate will be more*

Sounds perfectly normal to me. Their heart rate varies a lot and as the consultant told you will rise when they are being active.

I went in for monitoring at 26 weeks due to reduced movements. I was on the monitor for quite a while and I've just looked at the print out which is in my notes. Over about 30 minutes, the highest the heart rate got was above 170. It goes up and down, between 140 and 160 for most of it and then occasionally up over 170. The highest heart rate is always when I could feel movement (they give you a little button to press if you feel anything). The midwife said this was a "perfect" heart beat trace and the variability and accelerations are what they look for to check it is okay. Please talk to someone if you are panicking, but I think it is very normal (and a good thing!) that the heart beat is varying.

Thank you for your replies.
@keha that was very reassuring. Although I couldn't feel the movements we heard some come through on the doppler thing.
@Ohnoherewego62 I am OK today. Ive not been getting on with the dad and he has been sending me horrible messages. I felt very isolated and alone. Talking about the birth options and thinking I'm doing this alone. I'm OK today.

Well is there anyway you can reduce contact with him just now so you can focus on you and baby?

Have you got any family/friends nearby?

I've been trying to go no contact for weeks but his emails come through to my spam folder and I can't help myself, I read them and get upset. Sometimes I reply. We were complicated before and now this unplanned pregnancy has put things in to perspective for me. He actually apologised last night so I hope he is going to leave me in peace now.
I'm a bit of a loner these days and keep myself to myself. I don't trust many people and being sociable can make me feel anxious. I'm usually happy with my own company, and I have a v good friend that I trust but I don't like bombarding her with my same old shit all the time.
I was feeling overwhelmed yesterday at the thought of having a section and no one to hold the baby while I get stitched up. I didn't manage to hold my other children after section and that was OK because their dad was there but this is a different dad and I could be doing it alone. Also scared of getting hassled after the birth while I'm vulnerable from the section.
So that's it in a nutshell.

Well that's a lot to be dealing with.

Break it down:

Keep all his emails if they are abusive but move them into a separate folder and dont look at them especially if he is abuse mode. Keep them for records if needed in future. It's just keeping a log of his communications. His apology is to silence you not because he means it. When you're truly sorry, you dont tend to repeat the actions upsetting the person.

Get in touch with the midwives and bring this all up. You're having a difficult time with your babys dad- they usually ask this at your appointments if theres any domestic abuse issues.

Are you getting support with your other children?
Definitely dont struggle with this alone!

The mw knows, I told her and yesterday the consultant said she was also going to talk to my mw, about my crying I guess.
My children's dad is very good, he's been supportive.
I'll see how things go from now with the babies dad. If he starts shit up again I might report him to the police for harassing me.
Thanks x

You still have plenty of time to think about the birth, it's months away yet, so give yourself a bit of a breather for at least a couple of weeks.

Things will fall into place. You will bond with your baby just fine. What happens in the first couple of hours or days after the birth will have no long term significance on the child's overall health and well-being.
You will still be a lovely caring mother no matter what way the birth is and that will endure above everything.
Maybe you yourself are feeling abandoned at the minute? And you are thinking the baby might feel alone and abandoned...but he or she will be safe and will feel loved. The staff in the hospital will mind you and the baby very well.
You won't always feel like this. Take heart, there are happier times ahead waiting for you. This too will pass, because things are always moving on. So look after yourself and be kind to yourself while you are in this rough patch

Thank you for your kind words