Shandy?

[ml01omm]

Hi

So I have a bit of a dilema. It is my best friends birthday on Thursday and she has invited me out for a post work drink. Just me and her.

I will be 11 weeks on the dot - and yet to have my first scan, so I don't want to tell her my news until all checked out and okay.

I was thinking how I could get round this - (Dry January is not something I would do- so would sound odd).

So I was thinking perhaps I could have 1/2 a lager shandy as my first drink, and then a diet coke, under the guise that I need to drive home from the train station. This is generally what I do any way if I am stuck driving.

Do you think that is safe enough - the 1/2 a Lager Shandy? I havent touched a drop of alcohol in the last 6 weeks, and don't intend to touch any after.

I hate all this sneaking around!

I got away with it over Xmas by us entertaining at home and my husband swapping out my wine for alcohol free wine. So much harder in the pub.

If you had a miscarriage would you want to tell your friend for support? If yes then tell her the truth.

Half a lager isn't going to make any difference. Although I don't see why you have to make excuses for not drinking, if you prefer not to; on the rare occasions when I don't, I just say I don't feel like it tonight.

You can always use the “on antibiotics” excuse

I had to go on a work night out when I was about 7 weeks, I went up to the bar alone and asked for a tonic water but to make it look like a G&T, which they did. It worked really well until someone else who knew let the cat out of the bag! You can definitely fake drink, like get a coke and pretend it's a rum and coke if that option suits you. Or just tell her if you feel like it!

Personally I wouldn't drink anything for the sake of appeasing others, I would say that I'm taking strong pain killer meds for back pain or something so can't mix with alcohol

@Selfsettling3 she is struggling with fertility issues - do I don't want to tell her unless there is something to tell. Otherwise I admit it looks bizarre not to tell her.

@DobbieFreeElf I used that already on Xmas eve!

Just say you are driving.

When I've been in this position, I usually order my usual alcoholic drink and then just have a few sips over the course of the evening. If they go to the loo, you can always strategically pour some of it away. If you say you are driving home then there will be a reasonable excuse for you not drinking it all and for drinking slowly. I find it's more noticeable if you make excuses about why you are not drinking,

Absolutely what @maria2bela said. Don't do something you don't want to do just for the sake of someone else. If you're really worried about it, either order something that looks like alcohol at the bar (so get lemonade and say it's a gin and tonic) or say you're hungover from the previous night/got a funny tummy, etc.

Just say your on antibiotics or something or tell her the truth no way would I be drinking any alcohol in pregnancy .

I would have half a lager shandy.

You buy all the drinks because it’s her birthday!

And buy yourself alcohol free lager.

I just went with that I didn’t feel like it. Fancied whatever soft drink if asked. But I often don’t drink alcohol at social things so I guess it didn’t seem that odd.

Are you one to drink gin? Ask for a lemonade (and cordial such as lime) in a gin glass. It fooled everyone when I did it, not one question from anyone!

You can always use the “on antibiotics” excuse
This is basically waving a big banner saying, "I'm pregnant". If it was her you already used this with at Christmas then she almost certainly already knows and might be really hurt you haven't trusted her to tell her.

I would just postpone it til you've had the scan. I had a similar issue with one of my close friends. I eventually saw her at 13 weeks and felt ready to tell her then.

If you're driving, or claiming you are, then why would it be odd for you not to drink at all?

I think some of the more convoluted excuses, particularly antibiotics, tend to invite speculation, even if your friends are too polite to say anything.

Can you not get the first round and get an alcohol free beer? I don't see any problem with such a small amount of alcohol (each to their own on that in pregnancy) but it obviously makes you feel uncomfortable so that's an awful reason to have a drink.