Cigarettes. Moments of weakness

[Mum2Pup]

Hi.
I think this is my first post. And I'm just in a bit of an emotional pickle right now. I don't know where else to ask for help because I don't want judgment

TTC for 18 months. Found out 9 days ago that I am pregnant. I had a preplanned ultrasound on Thursday to check for cysts, they saw a gestational sack and estimated I'm 4 to 5 weeks.

My issue. I have smoked since I was 17. I'm 26 now. When I found out I was pregnant I decided no more. But I have had the odd few drags. Over the past 9 days I've probably smoked about 2 cigarettes. I'll have about 3 or 4 drags and I'm done. It's gross now, I think of my baby, and I get scared and I even get a little crampy after those few drags. The cramps scare me to be honest. Then I take deep breaths and I settle. I don't know if it's from the smoke, or anxiety/stress as I usually only really get these lapses when I'm having a bit of a rough few hours.

Some other points... I have Endometriosis, anxiety and depression, also stopped my 20mg fluoxetine 10 days ago, stopped naproxen 500mg 2 months ago, gabapentin 100mg and a sleeping tablet/antihistamine 9 days ago

Its the first time I've been totally medication and smoke free. And caffeine free. I've never been pregnant before. I'm a hormone lead emotional mess at the best of times, and this is a whole new level of mood swings.

I guess it's a combination. But I just feel so bad, so awful that I'm putting myself, a d therefore my little teeny tiny baby through all of this. I was petrified of miscarriage anyway and now? Ugh. I know I need to sort something out but I've not felt this useless and terrible in ages!

Hi @Mum2Pup first of all congratulations on your pregnancy! From reading your post I can tell how much this little one means to you and wow what an amazing job you have done at stopping all of those meds it can’t be easy. With the
Smoking you’re still very early on and cutting to a few drags is a great start try not to buy any more cigarettes I found this really helped if you don’t have them can’t smoke them! Also when you go for your first midwife appointment let them know they are fantastic at helping you to quit smoking and are very non judgmental. I wouldn’t beat yourself up over a few drags this early. I hope you feel better and you and baby have a healthy happy pregnancy. Stay strong think of baby and how after the pregnancy this would have all been 1000X worth it xxxxx

Have you tried nicotene replacement options? The nhs says these are okay to use, like the gum and the tablets. If you are only having a few drags, the gum might be enough. I found reading things about how bad smoking is for baby helped my determination. If I was tempted I'd just Google the affects of smoking on the baby and that would stop me. Please speak to your midwife when you see her, they will offer any help they can. Look after yourself, it's hard, but you can do it xx

Hi.
Thank you for your words of support this helps on its own!

I don't have fags in the house now, and I didn't think you were allowed to use nicotine replacement therapies!

My GP offers smoking cessation 1 to 1, but it's on Thursday mornings, and last Thursday I had the scan to check for cysts, and this Thursday I have a viability scan for little one! I'm trying to hang on to see the lady. I think I will speak to stop smoking wales in the mean time though.

I did download an app today called smoke free and thats been a great help already.

Thank you for your kind words xx