Help!

[Clifton1]

Hi, so please don’t judge first of all...
so I’ve recently found out I am pregnant- almost 12 weeks!! ❤️ When my partner and I went to the booking apt, she asked if we had taken any recreational drugs, my partner said he smokes weed occasionally (By occasionally it’s not even twice a year, but he made it sound really bad) and he also told them he had recently had magic mushrooms 🙄 he was on a stag do in Amsterdam and some of the lads shared some.. I am now PASSED my self as I feel like he painted himself/us out to be full time drug users and I’m now very concerned that when that info gets passed on to the health visitor she’s going to refer us to social services or something !! I really feel like that information he shared could have just got left unsaid... I am FREAKING out!!! Please help?! Any advice?! 😫😫

SS won’t get involved , he was at a stag do and if he has smoked weed less than twice a year and they’re aware of that then you’re not classed as high risk . If he said he does coke at home whilst you heavily drink and often pass out smoking in bed then it’d be a different story ! Or injected Heroin or something .
Congrats on the pregnancy 🤰🏼 xx

Ahhh thank you! No can confirm we are certainly not doing that 😂
But he didn’t say he was at the stag or that he only does it maybe once or twice a year. He just said “ I have recreational drugs occasionally and had magic mush rooms not long ago” what the hell!! He made it sound so bad. I feel like we need to clear it up with the midwife. I did say “ no you don’t!!” But the midwife laughed and it sounded like we were lying and I was covering for him type of thing. Clearly he needs a debrief before the next meeting!! 😫😤

I don't have any advice, except so say I am sure they come across much, much worse. He can't un-say it now. If anyone asks again, just tell the truth about it i.e. that he has very occasionally and you don't (and hopefully he doesn't plan to do it again in future). Social services will not be interested in weed once or twice a year and some magic mushrooms on a stag do. I think the only thing that would look dodgy is if you later denied it and tried to say he hadn't , then someone might wonder if there is more going on - which is why I say, just be honest about it if anyone asks.

😂😂 Men ! Maybe have a chat with him before your next appointment and he can tell the midwife what he actually meant next time lol . I can assure you (my husband works in maternity), they see and hear much worse ! X

Tell him to stop taking the recreational drugs? Lying to the midwives is probably not the answer here.

I wouldn’t worry OP. At my booking appt the midwife asked the same. I said no (have never used drugs) and DH said that he occasionally smoked weed, which he used to every few months or so.

Midwife non-judgementally explained the health risks for him and baby and said it might be a good idea for him to quit.

Our DD is 7months old now and we’ve never heard anything more about it. No medical professional or social services or anyone, so I really don’t think the question is asked to catch you out - more to provide genuine help and support if needed.

@BecauseReasons OP hasn’t said they lied or are going to lie , they’ve said their partner made it sound worse than it is

Thank you everyone! Suppose we will just leave it and if they bring it up again just be honest, clearly I need to have a chat with him and debrief before the next meeting haha. I didn’t think I would have to do that with a 27 year old man but hey!!! 🙄😂 x

Thank you @itsemily ! X

OP (original post/poster) hasn’t said they lied or are going to lie , they’ve said their partner made it sound worse than it is

She suggested that her partner shouldn't have said anything in answer to the question, which would have been a lie. I'm simply saying that him doing that would not have solved the problem. Lying or misrepresenting the truth is never the answer when dealing with health.

@BecauseReasons it is such a minor thing though, he said he won’t be doing it anymore, and when he Has done it in the past it’s been if he’s been out with some of his friends and they’ve had some and he’s had literally a couple of puffs, never buys it or anything. That’s why I felt it could’ve been left unsaid because it’s not like it’s a problem or it’s going to affect the baby in anyway x

I think it's good that he's trying to do the right thing, both in stopping using and in informing the midwife. I'd cut the guy some slack, I'm sure it's not caused any problems and he seems to have meant well.