Panicking

[p0rridge]

I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant and it's all starting to feel very real and very scary, to the point where I was talking to DH about giving birth last night and ended up having a panic attack. I'm really frightened of going through childbirth, and I didn't realise how much it was affecting me.

Does anybody have any advice for practical things I can do to try to get over this? I don't feel like my midwife is particularly helpful, and my appointments have been brief and to the point. I'm not really sure where else to turn. Any help or advice would be appreciated!

Hypnobirthing. It sounds like hippy wishy washy nonsense but it's extremely scientific and is arming you with the knowledge and tools to have a positive birth experience. If you can't afford a physical course I would 10000% recommend the Positive Birth Company's Digital Pack. They take you through the whole process of labour, delivery and what happens afterwards explaining what is physically happening to your body, how to be more in control and relaxed, the drugs and medical interventions offered etc. If you are really worried it's worth a try, even if you only take one or two points away from it.

Second vote for hypnobirthing. Sadly I don't think I'll get to use mine, but it's great, I've got the positive birth company book and it all makes so much sense. I was actually looking forward to labour!

First of all, this is a completely normal response! In terms of how to deal with it could you ask your midwife for a specific appointment for discussing your concerns? I opted for a hospital birth as, for me, the reassurance of being surrounded by Drs, drugs and technology if the shit hit the fan really helped too. I also found letting go of any expectation of control over how things were going to go, and just trusting that I was going to be with experienced staff to help me through it was useful aswell.

I did do the hypnobirthing but in my experience I felt it gave an unrealistic expectation of the level of control I would have over the process and outcome. I wasn't a fan and found it a bit cheesy (me and the Huz got told off for laughing in the course!)

My advice for the birth is to remember that you have plenty of options and you can see how you feel in the moment and take it from there. The one good practical thing I did get from the hynobirthing was to focus on taking deep breaths and any time I felt my shoulders creeping up to remind myself to relax. The gas and air helps with this as you have to breathe deeply to get a good hit!

Take care xx

Thank you everyone; I really appreciate the advice. I'm going to look into hypnobirthing courses and will definitely download the online pack and work through that, and hopefully I'll feel a bit better about it all. I think my main worry is everything being out of my control, so it's good to hear that this might help.

SerBrienne, thank you for the advice as well - it sounds like it will still be useful even if I just take some relaxation exercises from it. I'm very keen to have an epidural and have been worried about it not being available, so I already have thoughts on how I'd like to manage the pain (I'm not keen on the idea of gas & air/pethidine as I've heard they can make you feel very spaced out, sick, and out of control), but I will keep an open mind.

Hypnobirthing and remember your body is literally designed to push a baby out. Yes it hurts but most women do it multiple times so can't be that bad!

Honestly, the thing that helped me the most was being in the mindset that my body knows what to do better than I do!

Knowledge is power.

Learn all the about the process and what is physically going to happen.
Hypnobirthing book helped my other half.

Have a plan, be prepared to change it.

Practice positions with you're other half.

You've got this

Absolute other side of the coin here!

I was going on 21 and naturally had no plan in place. A very que sera, sera approach.

Have faith in your body and in the wonderful medical professionals around you - don’t be afraid to accept drugs!

Eat well in the run up, exercise a little.

8lbs4oz of DD arrived in two hours, perfectly healthy and I really hadn’t the foggiest what I was doing.

You’ll do brilliantly

Definitely the positive birth company hypnobirthing birthing and get her affirms cards too.

I also liked the positive birth book by Milli Hill. nothing to do with the hypnobirthing lady just the same name.

If you are still struggling then ask for a referral to maternal mental health services. Actually as you are already for 30 weeks ask for a referral now and then if you don’t need it when your appointment comes through you can turn it down.

You're welcome @p0rridge. Best wishes x

I swear I could have written that post myself, OP, the only difference being I'm a week further along compared to you.

I'm currently doing my Hypnobirthing course (online) and I feel like it's helping, but not for very long. My fears do come back all the time. Hopefully it gets better as I progress with the course.

One other thing I can recommend if you can afford it, is to hire a doula. Their packages tend to be expensive, but I managed to find one who was doing a half-price deal for a short period of time so it's not too bad, and in my opinion it's definitely worth it. I'm only getting 3 pre-birth face to face meetings with her, but she's always available by text and email to answer all my questions and concerns, very proactive, checking on me very often. And she's going to be on call 24/7 for me for two weeks before and after my due date, so when things start happening she will help me through it. It's very reassuring to know she's going to be there by my side, looking specifically after my mental wellbeing and not just focusing on the action "down there" like the rest of the personnel.