Why am I so anxious ?

[GaaaaarlicBread]

First pregnancy , definitely not my first post on MN though .
9 weeks tomorrow according to my midwife , although at my private scan I should now only be 8+4 but the midwife says when you have an early scan they measure you less due to it being hard to tell when the baby is so small and that the NHS will always go by my LMP until 12 week scan.
Anyway I’ve not enjoyed my pregnancy at all and I feel awful saying that, I spent too much time googling prior to getting pregnant so I’m just constantly worried with every cramp, every loss of symptom every now and then. I freak out thinking something is wrong because I’ve spent so many hours reading things online before I was even pregnant . I had no idea what a MMC was before MN 🤦🏽‍♀️
The scan was fine last weekend, they said everything looked perfect and my midwife said my obs and everything were great at my booking appointment and that I’ve got no reason to worry. I’ve been told by professionals that things are fine so why am I so anxious ?? I’ve had absolutely debilitating nausea and vomiting so I know my hormones are working and I’ve had no spotting or bleeding but still , every cramp I get that’s probably just gas worries me stupid .
I have my next scan on the 3rd Feb (due to my medical condition, I decided I still wanted a scan before my 12 week one which will be 13th Feb) , how can I make time go faster until then ?!
I’m utterly miserable and my husband says he feels like he’s lost the old me which is so so sad 😞

Anyone ? ☹️

I think it's normal to have some anxiety during pregnancy. I remember during the early stages everytime I went for wee I expected to see blood on the tissue.
If you have a medical condition that can add to the anxiety.
Maybe it's worth talking to you GP or midwife about how anxious you are. It won't be good for you or your baby to spend the next 30 plus weeks being so wound up.
Take care.

I understand the stress and worry. Do u have experience of miscarriage? With a family member or friend or is your pregnancy high risk due to your medical condition?

It all sounds very positive so far!
Wish i could help you to relax but i dont have any advice as im exactly the same way having had miscarriages.

Really hope everything works out well for you x

@BeautifulBirds thank you for the reply . I mentioned the anxiety to my MW and she said keep an eye on it as she doesn’t want me getting depressed .
@Rjandy2014 no this is my first pregnancy , never been pregnant before . Mum had a 5 miscarriages when trying for me and my brother (two before me and three before him) but this was due to a blood clotting issue she has due to her heart but it hasn’t been passed on to me and the midwife said she wasn’t worried as it wasn’t genetic . My condition is Epilepsy so it won’t affect my baby unless I have a seizure which so far, I haven’t .
I never had anxiety before pregnancy it’s so weird ! I’m really sorry for your losses xxx

I was the exact same as you. Obsessed with everything that could go wrong. All I can say is try not to Google, remind yourself that so far everything is fine and there is nothing you can do if it isn't so give yourself a break. Remind yourself you're growing a small human and take every milestone as it comes and celebrate it (12 weeks, 16 week midwife appointment, 20 weeks scan etc) I found this was a good way to stay positive and stop worrying so much x

@inthesky thanks so much , I’ll do that . 9 weeks tomorrow , then not long til my scan 💕💕👶🏼

I was highly anxious in pregnancy too. Do keep an eye on it though and try to get lots of rest. Force yourself to think rationally - all the professionals are telling you everything looks good. Stay off the internet.
Having a newborn is also an anxious time so try to get lots of rest, sleep, be kind to yourself. Try to enjoy the pregnancy if you can

@Oly4 thanks Oly , I will take myself off the internet for a bit as it’s not doing me any good . I have a history of depression (due to side effects of one of my medications), so the MW has said they’re going to monitor me closer for depression signs so I know I have the best possible care . You talk a lot of sense thank you

Try the audiobook The Worry Trick. It has really helped my anxiety

@toomuchteaandcake I’ll take a look thanks so much