Sleepless nights over pregnancy screening

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I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant following previous MC and early bleeds in this pregnancy (anxiety is through the roof). I had my booking in appointment last week with the midwife where we discussed what the blood tests are for. I just broke down in tears and refused all of them due to fear of the results. I have a new found fear that I have contracted HIV through previous relationships where my partners where not the most cautious when it came to their sexual health. I have spoken to my partner about this fear and he just tells me I'm being stupid, however I know that I could just be 'that one' that got caught. I'm now having sleepless nights and constantly worrying. Has anyone else ever felt like this during their pregnancy?

2 things,
1 - please speak to your midwife about your anxiety or it'll massively impact the rest of your pregnancy. I didn't and I regret it massively now.
2 - the odds are that your screening results will be absolutely fine. However in the unlikely event that they aren't wouldn't it be best to know that? There's lots of treatments available for pregnant women and their unborn children. In fact I'm sure I read recently that treatment can be given to massively decrease the risk of passing HIV on to an unborn child, it reduces the risk to something like 2%.

Oh OP, you need to speak to your midwife or doctor about this anxiety. You cannot take a bury your head in the sand approach as this is now about babies well being as well as yours. Pregnancy is an anxious time but parenthood is even more anxiety inducing so it’s really important to try & tackle it now. If you don’t have the blood screen, you are going to spend the rest of pregnancy panicking & not sleeping. Take a deep breath, be brave & get the blood test. I’d imagine it’s incredibly unlikely you have HIV but isn’t it better to know? Rather than being constantly fearful & it impacting your life badly? When actually, you probably don’t have it & can live life without the worry?! Plus, in the very very unlikely event you do, the doctors need to manage it for both you & baby. This isn’t just about your life, it’s about babies too.

The blood screening tests are really important as they are checking your blood group & antibodies. The antibodies are critically important to know as if you are RhD negative, you will need injections are various points in pregnancy to stop your blood thinking babies blood is something foreign it needs to destroy. The blood group is also pretty important in case of bleeds in labour.

Get some help & support OP, sending love 🧡

My mid wife is kind of aware of the anxiety as I couldn't stop crying. She told me she isn't surprised with the history of pregnancies and that she will see me again next week. I think she is slightly concerned.
I tend to be a strong person and deal well with anything that is thrown at me so not sure why I've got this thoughts and feelings. I'm constantly thinking what if?? I think my main concern woth the HIV is how my partner would react as he is very uneducated when it comes to these things and old fashioned with his thoughts.
I have private healthcare woth my work so think I may use there mental health support.
Thankyou so much both for your support