Stressing about Consultation

[RainbowFlowers]

I have my consultation to discuss birth options in an hour. I'm nervous about it as I cry easily and find it very frustrating to cry because I struggle to talk. I know having to think about my first birth will may make me upset.

I'm leaning towards having an elected c section. But feel like I'll be judged about this...I know that's coming from me.

My first birth was an emergency c section followed by myself and son getting sepsis which meant we had a gruelling next few weeks. I want to avoid this.

Any support, advice welcome.

How was your appointment?

My daughter my an emergency (terrifying) c section, and I am asking for one this time. Don’t be worried. Stand your ground. My midwife agreed so hopefully they will support you. Did it go ok? X

Well I cried through most of it which was difficult. Its definately partly due to hormones. The doctor was happy to go with whatever I wanted. She said I seemed to feel guilty about wanting a c section which is true.

She gave me some stuff to read and booked another app for me to discuss it again in 6 weeks.

I'm sure I want to book an elective c section but I'm not sure about what I want if I go into labour before hand...whether to try natural or have a c section. Part of me feels theres an inevitability that it will end in c section anyway which make me just want to go for a section as soon as I go into labour and a part of me feels obliged to try a natural birth.

I feel like whatever choose I will never be completely satisfied that I've made the right choice.

Why do you feel guilty? I did a lot of reading up on it and no-one that opted for a c-section regretted it. But the Mum’s who had a failed VBAC and ended up with a section regretted not going for it straight away. That cemented it in my mind, I know mentally I couldn’t go through what I went through last time. Not even thinking physically. That said a lot of women go on to have successful VBAC’s and feel great for it. Ultimately only you know what is best for you. Guilt should never come into it xx

Its hard to pinpoint the reason for the guilt. I guess I feel like a natural birth should be given a chance. But I also struggle to bear the thought of not knowing which it will be from now until the birth. Like if I opt for csection regardless of whether I go into labour or not I can mentally prepare for the c section.

Thanks so much for your replies mummyspider and Dellbell.

I am seeing my consultant next week and I'm currently swaying between trying a vbac after 2 sections or having an elective.
I'm scared either way!

It's so difficult isn't it!

Like reading the info and statistics they give you is one thing but working out how you feel about it all is completely another thing.

What were the reasons for your previous c sections? If you don't mind a answering.

The first one was an emergency during a long labour. The 2nd one was elected. I had a real fear about still birth that was ultimately why I chose the elective. But on the day I was feeling awful about it like it was an unnatural thing for my baby and I felt very bad... However I was there in the hospital and I really wanted the baby out..... So I went ahead with it.

Soo, I was you about a year ago actually. I opted for the planned c section at about 36 weeks. I decided that I didn't want to risk any of the unknown and that I didn't want any chance of the rupture however small. First CS was an emergency after a failed prostin induction after 3 gels? 24 hours of fun - no food, lots of pain and 0 dilation! Oh sweeps can't forget them. The recovery from my 2nd was an actual breeze, I knew what to ask for, I was very demanding and knew from last time exactly what I wanted. My own blanket from home smelling like me, skin to skin immediately for the whole sewing up, wanted all the oramorphs, wanted the catheter out ASAP. If I had it last time I wanted a timeframe. Although il never know what a natural birth might be like, my children and I are healthy and happy so that is more important to me. Not a dig at any vbacs etc just my opinion

How long before you got out of bed @redken24? I am keen to get out ASAP and get moving. Your story was great to hear. I have a family wedding about a week later 😫 not idea but don’t want to miss it. I was a mess after having my daughter but had an awful labour and a scary section and would never have made a wedding that time round! X

@Mummyspider27 I had at 9am and catheter out at 4am. Was out of bed maybe 7am. Personally id have rathered as soon as I could move. Nothing worse than feeling that catheter and the rest! Honestly I couldn't believe the difference, I breast fed this time and Im sure that helped lol whether it's for you or not. I think knowing that the first time was like opposite end of spectrum really helped. I wasn't as tired as I could have been, I knew that walking about was helping me, I knew what to not over do and all the painkillers definitely helped. Where I am they try n keep you in for 5 days I was in on friday at 7 and home on Monday at 11am. I can't say everyone will be the same, but definitely such an improvement from first time round. I felt a lot more in control which definitely helped - and my own confidence. The things that I missed with the first birth like not long enough skin to skin and trying for the colostrum. I realy wished I'd done the skin to skin for longer with my first and got to do it with my second. I was glad of the our smell blanket. Daft to others but hey helped me!

@Redken24 that’s great thank you. I breastfed my first and plan to again. A friend recently had a section, she had it at 11am and was out if bed by 5/6pm (still had the catheter in though!), they only wanted me to stay 1 night last time but I opted for 2, to sort feeding. Would push for 1 this time. Good to hear such a positive experience, I hope to have the same x