Am we ready for a baby?

[Aggie11666]

Hi,
So myself and my partner ( 24 & 26) have been together for nearly 6 years. We have bought a house, have a cat and a dog, got stable jobs and have spoken about having kids a lot. Everyone else that I have spoken to, have told me we're too young to have kids and we're still not mature enough. We both feel ready to start a family however, all those comments are making me feel like we shouldn't have kids yet. Just wanted to know opinions from people I don't really know. Hope you can help me out.
Thanks 😊

Only you know .
I’m currently pregnant with my first baby and my husband is 24 and I’m 25. Been together 6 years and married for almost one . Own a house , stable jobs etc . As long as you feel you can financially look after a baby safely (I.e food etc) and mentally feel as ready as you can be for a baby then it’s not anyone else’s business . I read in my pregnancy book that you are never ‘ready’ for a baby lol . But we’re ready and we’re similar age to you so, go for it x

I'd say do what fits for you guys, everyone's circumstances are different but you do sound level headed and seem to want the same thing. I was 26 when I had my first and me and the dad had only been together just under a year when I got pregnant.

Only you can know yourself.

For me, 24/26 would have been too young but I wasn’t in the same situation as you (job was stable-ish but involved a lot of travelling and unpredictable hours, was with a partner but didn’t live together and didn’t want to, etc)

Also depends who is telling you their opinions & what your assessment of that is - eg if you get on well with the friends and family who are telling you this and generally appreciate and respect their opinions and feelings, that’s different to toxic Auntie Margaret who you’ve never liked and who has always caused rifts and family arguments telling you you’re too silly and immature...

I had a baby at 27. I don't see why those ages are too Young, I'd rather have a kid in my 20s to be honest, more energy to do all the running around...

I'd have found it too young (although was same with house etc as you) mainly as I changed a lot from mid 20s to early 30s. If my family and friends said I was too immature then whilst I wouldn't have appreciated it at the time, they wouldn't have said it if it wasnt true, so would encourage you to really think about what they're saying and why.

I got pregnant at 23 (now 24 with an 8mo) and was in a similar position to you - house, career, job.

Just be sure that you've done everything as a 'young person' that you wanted to do. It'll be a while before you can go paragliding in the Bahamas.

A lot of people these days are just leaving uni and starting their graduate jobs around now and are nowhere near as mature as you - I think working and being self sufficient makes such a difference - and that's why people are telling you you're too young.

Stop talking to people about your plans and they can't berate them.

Biologically you’re at an ideal time, but only you can decide if you’re emotionally, psychologically and financially ready :)

I think if you feel ready and can emotionally and financially support and provide for the child then that’s all that matters :) I don’t think you’re too young at all, you both sound as though you want this.

I’m 26 and my partner is 24, and I’m currently 10 weeks. We also have a house together and good steady jobs, and been together 4 years now. I don’t think anyone is ever fully ‘ready’ as I know I still feel like I have so much to learn, but I know we’re more than capable!

Wish you all the best with your decision! Xx

The right time is different for everyone so if you feel ready then ignore the comments. I’m expecting my first at 36 and I don’t feel ready but one of my colleagues had hers at 25 and 26 and absolutely loves being a mum. She’s a fab one too. 20/30 years ago it was the norm to have your children in mid or late 20’s so there is no reason why you can’t. Also if you have them before 30 you never have to have people telling you not to leave it too late!

Here’s a way to find out. Sit down and ask your partner how he thinks his life will be when the baby is 6 months old. How will it be different from now?

When will he sleep? Babies need care found the clock ?

What about his work? When will he see his friends, do his hobbies ? Who will care for the baby when he goes out with his mates ?

How will be be paying into a pension or saving? What impact will it have on his career? What are his childcare plans ?

If baby goes to a childminder or nursery, how much will that cost ? Does he know he will have to take days off work( unpaid leave or annual leave ) when baby is sick ?

What about financial security ? Is your Dp taking family leave or going part time after baby comes ? If so, your career will take off and his won’t. What will happen if/ when you split up - how will that be fair on him , when your career/ earning potential / pension are so much higher than his?

No one wants to think they will split up but half of all couples will. You need to be practical and not romantic when you have a child to think of.

Only you know. Dh and I were in a similar situation. By 26 we had been together 8 years, lived together for 5 and had a mortgage and pets. We married and dc1 arrived before we got to 27.

We have never ever regretted "settling down" young or starting our family young at all.

Horses for courses.

It depends on how you feel. I'm 26, my husband is 28. We have been married for 4 years, owned our house for 9 years and I'm pregnant with our third child. We have been together since I was 16. I don't think there is ever a 'right' time, whether you are 26 or 36 or even 46 a baby will still make a huge difference in your life, I don't think age has anything to do with it x

Oh and id marry pre kids op - you may decide to reduce your working hours so it's handy to have a legal tie to the one who may be then earning more money/quicker promotions etc.

Am we

Everyones different

I had my first at 19 and my 2nd at 27 and I wish i knew if it was just because it was our second child or our age but the second time around being older was much more enjoyable, easy, we never miss a moment with this one, we have less stress ect

It could be a case of knowing more due to second child but really I think it's down to being older. Maybe it's both?!

You won't know when your ready unless you just crack on. I personally think it's a great age for babies.