Home birth/birthing unit-deployed husband

[JJTWhite]

So my husband is currently deployed and will return when I am 38/39 weeks. I can’t decide whether to have a home birth or go to the maternity unit(had my second there and loved it) she was a planned home birth but I chickened out the week before and told the midwife I wanted to go into the midwife led unit.

Problem being is Iv never gone past 38 weeks (1st=34weeks-4hr labour, 2nd=37weeks-1hr labour) and there is a possibility husband will not be here and even if I was to go into labour it would take a minimum of 24hours to get him back 🤦‍♀️

So Iv got a friend who will be taking my children for me and depending on situation she will either come to me to take them or if husband is here we will drop on way to hospital if that’s the route I choose.

Can anyone give any advise on homebirths?

I’m stressing as this is a 6 month deployment, working full time and looking after our two other children, so not prepared.

Doesn't sound like the best environment to be bringing another child into?

Not much I can do about that June705, didn’t ask about my environment, home life is actually pretty fantastic. We are prepared for him not being here. That’s his job 😂 has been for some time, not the first child we’ve had with his job, these things generally happen with not a huge deal of time management. He was deployed with my last and only made it by a week.

Was asking about home birth/unit led 🤗

That was rather rude and unnecessary @June705

OP - I'd go for the midwife unit just in case. Best of luck x

Mummyduckduck - thank you 😊

I can not fault my midwife led birth with my DD, my DH thinks the midwife unit to only because I’ll have extra support if required x

With the lengths of your previous labours I would plan for a home birth. Both labours were quick, it seems probably that this one will be too, I would prefer to have in my mind an intent to have the baby at home rather than it accidentally happening, if that makes sense.

I'd go for home birth simply because you might not make it to the MLU in time.How far is it from your house? I don't think I'd want to risk giving birth en route. Can you get immediate neighbours on board, as you might need to summon help very quickly?

I've had 2 DC born at home and one DC in our local hospital and definitely preferred the home births. No need to stress about getting to the hospital at the right time and amazing, constant support from 2 midwives from the moment they arrived until after baby was delivered and we were all cleaned up and settled. They even made the tea and toast afterwards! I found it more relaxing to be able to be in my own environment and loved the fact I was already home when I wanted to rest afterwards. In my area you do need to be prepared for the chance there may not be enough midwives available to allow you a home birth when you go into labour (if particularly busy in the hospital the home birth midwives have to go in to help out there).

I think ther whereabouts of your DH is a bit of a red herring. You have friends on standby who will do the childcare whichever location you select, and whether DH makes it back in time or not.

Concentrate on what you want and why.

You 'chickened out' of home birth last time. Have you worked out why? Do those issues still bother you!

Based on that, and your previous thoroughly positive experiences, I'd go for the MW unit. But at the end of the day, it's about your preferences.

And get someone lined up to stay with you immediately after the birth.

@TorysSuckRevokeArticle50

Yes this has been on my mind, the hospital isn’t far away but the midwife has said be prepared for a quick if not quicker labour.

Do you have any advice about home births in general? I remember having a pack at home from the hospital, but they came and picked it up fairly quickly when I changed my mind last time. X

@DelphiniumBlue it’s not far at all, parking can be a pain, I live on a ‘patch’ so neighbours are very much a second family and are happy to help out, drive me to hospital etc, family are only 20miles down the road too thankfully x

@mpsw

I chickened our more so because I ended up in hospital 3 weeks prior to DD with a non pregnancy related illness and unfortunately I became poorly and so did DD both taco-cardiac which scared me, once it was under control we were both fine. Midwife was happy for me to go ahead with home birth but I decided ‘if’ anything was to happen the midwife led unit was next door to the hospital led and I could be moved quickly if necessary x

@Winchking

Sounds like you had fabulous home births ❤️ I need to weigh up my options and I am seeing the midwife next week to have a chat x

@DelphiniumBlue my mother in law is already on call and will come to me after to help with DS and DD and also with myself and baby until the DH is back x

I don’t get people advising you having a home birth because you have quick labours. If the hospital if close to you (which you say it is) then it would be best imo to go to the hospital as soon as labour starts. Your last birth was 1 hour and you’ve been advised that the next one may be quicker. Midwives are in short supply now and I really can’t see a couple being available to come to your house within minutes of you ringing them. If you try and choose to stay at home then you’ll probably be giving birth on your own.

Sounds like you've got a very nice set up, with supportive friends and family.
Have a discussion with your midwife about possible timings and how quickly they could get to you.
I had 2 babies in hospital, both were 2-4 weeks early, and number 2 almost born en route. Was very stressful because of that.
With number 3, I was expecting less than hour start to finish, and in that case I probably wouldn't have made to hospital in time. In the event, I decided a planned homebirth was preferable to s mad dash in second stage labour, and explained my worries to the midwife. We looked at ways of minimizingisk

We looked at ways of minimizing risk, I trained my oldest child (7) to be able to call emergency services and made sure he knew what to say, address etc, should the necessity to do so materialise.
In fact DS3 took 3 hours to arrive and was born comfortably at home , I didn't need to panic.
My experience is that travelling whilst in transition/ second stage labour is almost impossible, I couldn't have done it in a car, had to call an ambulance. I'd recommend staying at home if you can.