Can someone please help me get myself together

[needakickupthebum]

Not sure this is in the right topic but am 14 weeks pregnant and have been sufering hyperemesis, which is thankfully starting to ease off now.

Problem is I just can't get myself back on track, I don't want to do anything or go anywhere, I do nothing around the house even though it's a tip (dh bless him has done so much to keep on top of it but he works 6 days). I don't have the energy to take ds out and about, thankfully lots of friends and relatives have been on hand to help.

I just feel nothingness, I wish i'd never gotten pregnant and i'm not remotely excited about the thought of another baby.

Ds has been at nursery all morning and i've done nothing but sit on the sofa, I haven't even showered. I had PND after ds and i'm worried that this is depression again. I keep telling myself it's just because i've been so ill and once i'm better I'll be back on track but it's not happening.

What should I do?

Hi - I would suggest an appt with your GP as a first port of call. This could just be hormones running wild....but with your history, defo worthwhile getting checked out.

Congrats on your pregnancy.

The very last thing you need is a kick up the bum. A visit to your GP, and soon, is more like it.

there is such a thing as Ante natal depression
and if you have been terribly unwell, then you are certainly going to be feeling at a low ebb anyway

no kicking require, get thee to the docs forthwith and be kind to yourself!

don;t worry about doing the house, make one goal a day,

e,g

make the bed

or

clean the loo

or

hoover one room

rather than attempting to tackle a whole house full of mess

you will feel better soon

also, even if you don;t feel like it, try to shower or have a bath, and wear something clean, even if it is just a fresh pair of PJs or a tracksuit, that can do you a power of good

thank you for the support. I need to go to the doctors about my sickness medication anyway so I will talk about this too.

I'm so lucky with all the family help i've had, Ds's cousins have just arrived to take him to the park. So I will go have a shower and hopefully that will brighten me up a bit and spur me into action.

I am also on sickness medication for hyperemesis too and also not partciularly excited about the pregnancy, which makes me feel guilty.

I also am doing nothing around the house, even though it is a state most of the time. I could quite happily not shower at all, but am forcing myself to shower every other day at the moment and will work up to every day!

I also had PND after my first and am concerned that I might get it again, although the circumstances are very different this time round.

I hate talking to GPs and am not that fond of my midwife, so will probably just ride it out and see what happens after the birth.

Take care of yourself and set yourself small targets and don't beat yourself up if you don't manage them.

I was very sick with my first pregnancy up till about 20 weeks and was living with my mother-in -law - not a good combination. The main problem for me was getting other people to understand how I felt. e.g. did not want to get out of bed, couldn't eat, no energy, did want to leave the house ect. I was also quite bad with my now second pregnancy althoulgh I did just have to get on due to work (was on summer hols during first preganancy) and also due to having a toddler! I am now 24 weeks and I am feeling much better. There is a very good website called 'blooming awful' that might help. I know you are feeling bad now but it may pass but I would play it safe and see your GP anyway. It is quite normal to like babies - but not like being pregnant!

I just expected that as i started to feel better physically I would start to feel better mentally and it just hasn't happened I'm still behaving the same as i was when i was really sick.

I'm being given so much help with ds and i still can't pull myself together how am i going to be of any use when this one arrives?

I feel such a failure when others have no choice but to carry on without all the help that i've had

The depression side of things is definitely worth a check bit could it be as simple as low iron levels? I would get those checked if I were you.

hmm could be low iron have been living on 1 peanut butter sandwich a day for the last 8 weeks.

Having my bloods done by mid wife soon so will ask her.

Maybe you're lacking some vitamins and minerals - which would not be at all surprising given the sickness you've been suffering. Being depleted would definitely make tiredness and depression worse. As someone suggested, ask to have your iron levels checked, and maybe take a pregnancy multivitamin if you're not doing so already.

Be kind to yourself, your body is having a tough time. I hope you feel better soon.

Good idea re the multivits, but beware, Pregnacare supplements made me really nauseous and frequently sick

I agree with Lulumama and Naturelover. Do one nice thing for yourself get some multivitamins - and one nice thing for the house. Even if the chore takes up only 10 minutes it will be a little burden off your mind. I felt like hell until about week 15 but forcing myself to keep up with my usual chores made me feel better physically and mentally.
Good luck, and be good to yourself.