Worried about GGP

[SparkleUK]

Hi everyone, 35 +2 and very tired now!

So as I'm getting closer, I'm getting more and more anxious about my gran and if she will be overbearing. I feel really guilty feeling like this but I can't help it so please don't judge!
She doesn't do anything from a bad place or would be purposely harmful but I don't know if anyone had any tips for being so anxious and or how they developed the grandparental relationships (when did you visit them when baby born, how often, did you have any rules etc)

My gran has always seen me as more than her grandchild and still now at 26, wants to be very hands on with me, tell me she loves me constantly or wants to have 'deep' conversations about love, how the family has so much love, how we mean so much to her and asking am I happy whenever I visit with my OH. She tells everyone about me, shows them photos at any occasion, tells them about my career which isn't something that I like broadcast and since I've been pregnant, will tell people who are complete strangers to me that I'm pregnant and about my toileting habits etc!
Some people may not see an issue with being so cared about and yes on one hand, it makes me feel bad but I also feel it's pushed me away as it makes me so anxious to feel that someone is that almost obsessive about you. When I was a baby, my dad actually took to not getting me out of the car seat on visits there because she wanted to hold me all the time.

In regard to our little one, she's already used the phrase 'smothered' with love in relation to how she'll be with him, already offered herself for childcare for when I go back to work, said we should take him to my passed away grandad's grave so they can 'meet' and made out as if our baby would be unloved and starved when I mentioned our later plans for some boundaries we eventually want to have in place because things never did me any harm.
As I say, I know she isn't purposely being awful and I feel like I shouldn't feel this way which doesn't help but I'm either really mean or someone will be able to sympathise and offer advice over my worries 🤞

She definitely does sound overbearing, yes.

That doesn't mean you have to put up with it. Start seeing her less. Start telling her less. Say no to her.

And needless to say, don't use her for childcare!

Thank you for replying.
She always sounds so upset or sad at not seeing me or even when I said I didn't like an outfit that she suggested so I end up feeling guilty and that I've done something wrong

I knew you'd say something like that. But you aren't responsible for her feelings and you don't have to give into her manipulation (which is what it is).

She's a grown-up. If she's super sad about you daring to also be a grown-up and make decisions on your own, and have your own baby that you raise yourself, she can deal with it on her own. Being a mum means being able to stand up for yourself and your child.

It's nice, but also a bit manipulative to always try to get your own way. My MIL was a bit like that, and after the baby things were really difficult as she wanted to be the first and most important and place all that love she had inside, but I felt we needed to stay away and kep distance as I wanted to establish myself as a mother. Her intentions were good, but the way she did things were overbearing and a bit hurtful after the baby.
I think you need to establish boundaries for the sake of your young family. Don't cut her out, but be firm and never feel bad. She had her baby/babies, now it's your turn and no one should be ruining it for you.