Bloating and boyfriend problems

[kirstii]

So, 2 things..
Firstly I am 9 weeks pregnant and I am so bloated you would actually think I am 22 week pregnant, feel like I have trapped wind, eating very healthy food (salads + fruit) as they are my cravings(also craving sun lotion)😂, a lot of water just don't know what's causing this and it's making me feel exhausted so any tips would be v much appreciated ladies 🥴

Second, my fella doesn't really seem to be interested in this pregnancy, it is my first (and his) Idk if it's because it doesn't feel quite real yet as I'm not meeting my midwife till next week and we was told at 6 weeks it was miscarriage but turns out they made a mistake!! WORST XMAS, but he's just acting a lot different to how I expected it to be like when finally falling pregnant! We were trying for 3 months before so i fell pregnant quite quickly really but it's making me hella nervous that his interest is going to be like this throughout the whole pregnancy 😑 I just don't know if it's men 4 you and it's pretty much how most women feel, but he's usually very invested in everything and me so it's super weird!! Also because of complications with a previous pregnancy we aren't telling no friends or fam until after the gender scan so I'm getting pretty lonely, trying to talk to him about things because IM SO EXCITED but the conversation ends pretty much 2 mins in! Maybe I'm being stupid because it's still early into my pregnancy and just losing my sh&$t with keeping it to my self 😂 any advice on this or just someone tell me straight To pull my self together would be appreciated X

It sounds to me as though he could be protecting himself by not getting invested in the pregnancy until it has progressed further. After a loss and a miscarriage scare he may not be able to feel excited until it's a bit more certain that it's definitely happening.

You talk about not telling people until the 'gender scan'. Do you mean the anomaly scan at 20 weeks? People may notice you're pregnant before you get to that point.

I agree with PP - he may just be protecting himself until you’ve at least had the 12 week scan as reassurance

Also I think it’s harder for men to connect sometimes as it’s not physically happening to them. My DH was so excited for our baby but didn’t have the same connection I did until he was born

Also as PP said, people may guess by the 20 wk scan. You certainly would have with me as I had a noticeable bump both times

I blasted so much at the beginning of my pregnancy I had to move into maternity clothes early. I moved from bloat straight to bump as well there was no hiding it ever.

I imagine you mean your 12 scan such is when most people wait until to tell people. You won't find gender it though until 20 week, or a bit earlier (16?) if you go private.

Your bloke mazy be protecting himself in a manly way. I'd say test mine WAS interested but want until scan that it dawned on him the complete significance of pregnancy. We had an early one at 9 weeks (thought 8 but they dated 9, nearly 10 weeks). It was moving around and everything. I think it sunk in more. Before, it was an abstract medical condition where i ought look after myself more.

Hi OP, my DP is lovely and very happy about the pregnancy, I'm 16 weeks now, but he really isn't half as interested in my weekly 'the baby is the size of an avocado' and 'I now have 50% more blood' updates as I am 🤣 he listens for the first two minutes like you say then zones out.

I think as a PP has said, it's just nowhere near as real for them as it is us for us, who are already seeing and feeling changes to their body.

Even my mum who's literally the most thoughtful person I know and is already on about her third knitted item for her first grandchild (she jumped up screaming when we told her!) isn't interested in my micro updates on the gross things going on with my body lol, so I've stopped mentioning it as much.

Seems mean but it's like what everyone says about weddings. Not a big deal for anyone but you really and we're not the first or last women to have a baby.

I've heard, and my BF has actually said himself, that he thinks he will get a lot more interested when I'm showing and you can feel the baby etc and it all starts to get real.

Bloating is mainly caused by increased levels of progesterone (good thing in pregnancy). It causes your muscles to smooth out and relax. In your digestive system, that means that food moves through your gut much more slowly than before you were pregnant. The benefit of this is that you get more time to absorb nutrients from what you eat. The downside is constipation. Eat loads of fruit and veg if morning sickness allows, drink all the water (despite all the running to the loo) take a fibre supplement like Fybogel, exercise whether you feel well enough. Try not to strain. It will calm down. (I looked the same at 8 weeks and 22 weeks pregnant, thanks to the bloat).

Re: your partner. You don't say exactly how uninterested he is. I'd think that issues in earlier pregnancies - and this one - are making him want to protect himself by not getting too excited before it's definite that everything is progressing as it should. Also, you may find that he gets a lot more excited after it gets to the point where either a) he sees his child on a scan or b) he can feel the baby kicking.

I think he will become more interested after the 12 week scan.

My DP seemed disinterested until then, I asked about it after the scan and he said it just didn’t feel real until the scan. This makes sense I think because it’s not really visibly obvious then and there’s no actual ‘proof’ for them to see a baby with other than the tests. Whereas it couldn’t be more real for us with nausea, bloating, cravings etc. After the scan he was so invested and excited the whole time.

Congratulations, I hope everything goes well for you!

It sounds as though he's just being cautious - the baby is planned and you've had trouble previously so it does sound like he's just playing it safe. The first trimester is very strange - lots of anxiety (will this baby stick??), it's quite surreal as you know you're pregnant but there's no proper bump or movement yet, generally other people don't know. It does improve and become more exciting. DH found after the 12 week scan and actually seeing the baby it felt a lot more real to him, then he loved finding out the sex at the 20 week scan and planning names and by 30 weeks he could feel kicks and such. If you're 9 weeks now then your 12 week scan isn't far off and you may find he gets more excited after that. Good luck! Also peppermint tea for bloating helped me - I had one each morning in the first trimester.

Thank you all so much really appreciate the suggestions on bloating going to pick up some peppermint tea and fybogel today! I am the same struggling to get into clothes, for the past week I could cry every time I have to leave the house in any thing that's not over sized 😫

I agree with all of you he's seen the baby on the screen twice but first time was no heart beat found, guessing I was around 5 weeks (was earlier than what they had measured me at) and the second it was 7 weeks so not much difference there other than they found a heartbeat, and the scan for the 7 week scan was just a scan to see if the miss-carriage had cleared itself so we obviously wasn't expecting that at all! I think you guys are right and after 12 weeks and having a scan which actually looks like a baby it might make it seem more real and that were over the first hurdle of the first trimester, thank you all again I feel a lot better now 🥰

And regards to everyone saying I'm probably going to be showing by the time i have the gender scan, we have an early one booked at (15+3) last day of feb, but we have been talking about telling family after the 12 week scan I think we're just keeping it from friends until the gender scan now anyway 💙💖

I think lots of men seem like they arent interested during pregnancy. They arent carrying the baby and its maybe not as 'real' for them yet.
If you had a scare at 6weeks maybe that was really bad for him and he has withdrawn a bit. Stay disconnected so he doesnt get hurt again?
How did he react when you thought it was a miscarriage?