Second baby after PND and Psychosis?

[SqidgeBum]

Hi! I am looking for some info/advice. I have a 1 year old, and the 'second baby' discussions are starting between me and DH. However, I suffered quite badly with PND and Post Natal Psychosis after my first. I went to the GP 10 weeks after having my girl, but by that point it had got pretty bad (I was convinced everyone, including my husband, could hurt my baby so I had to protect her). I was referred to the mental health team and received a phone call at about 12 weeks, but I refused any other help as I wanted to tackle it myself. By 16 weeks I felt a lot better, but even now things still creep in but I manage it as best I can.

My sister is a nurse and said the other night that as I had it bad after the first baby, I would probably be given a mental health midwife second time around and be on some sort of 'watch list'. She gave the impression this was more of a 'we have to watch you because you are a looney' rather than 'we are here to support you'. My Health Visitor after my birth was a main cause of my PND to be honest (her 8 week visit was like the spanish inquisition). After that I just avoided HV at all costs. The thought of being watched freaks me out big time, like I am not mentally stable enough to be trusted to have any more kids. I also have no support network except my husband as my family live abroad, which the HV and the mental health team didnt like either.

Anyway, I just wondered if anyone has gone through a second pregnancy after PND on the first, and what was put in place during and after pregnancy? Did you feel supported? Did you feel watched? I really want a second kid, but I feel quite scared of what may happen.

I'm currently under the perinatal mental health team due to being high risk for post partum psychosis and, while they're not amazing I don't feel like I'm on a watch list. I've not seen a therapist but the option is there if I ever change my mind.

We also did my care plan last week. Essentially I'm going to get a daily visit/phone call for the first few weeks post birth and we have written exactly how I would prefer to be treated if I do end up bad. I've chosen home based care as I know I wouldn't deal well with too many appointments out of the home. My nurse also discussed absolute worst case scenarios such as having to go to a mother and baby unit.

To be completely honest I've found them completely non-intrusive and as I have had the same nurse throughout the pregnancy I do feel like I would be able to call if I felt I needed a bit of support without being judged.

I had PND after my first child and it took a long time to get over. I've suffered from depression for over 20 year so I knew there was a chance and met with a mental health midwife who met with me once during that pregnancy and I never saw again 🙄 During my 2nd pregnancy no help was offered however when I got really bad after her birth the perinatal health team were great - I had more support in a few months than I'd had in years. My psychiatrist even said to me I shouldn't let my mental health put me off having more children if I wanted, they'd be there for me again if I needed them (two's more than enough though ). Don't be afraid of the support, it's there so the systems knows you might need a bit extra support, it's not there to scrutinise you as a person.

A friend of mine had PPP after her first baby. She was extremely well supported during her pregnancy and after the birth with her second child. Everything went smoothly the second time but if it hadn't, everything was there ready to swing into action if she needed MH care.