Scared partner wont be in UK for the birth of our 1st (works in Germany)

[Claudia3771]

Hi there,

My partner and I are in a long distance relationship which, up until now, has worked well. However, I've been getting myself in a bit of a tis that he wont be present for the birth if I go into labor outwith my due date as he resides and works in Germany.

I seen a leaflet in my antenatal clinic re elective c-sections which mentioned this as a reason to ask for one. It also mentioned that a planned induced labor may be of benefit. However, a midwife (not my usual MW) shut me down as soon as I mentioned it and said it was not possible as it isn't of medical concern .

So, finally, my question is:

Has anyone had experience with such circumstances and a planned birth?

Your baby will come when ready.
Natural birth means no recovery time, and if your lucky your up and about next day.
Your partner will try to be there , but it isn't the end of the world if he arrived afterwards, it just means you can test before you introduce your child.

The thing is, they won't do a planned c-section or induction for that sort of reason before 39 weeks or so, so there is still a risk the baby will come early, although unlikely. When is your partner planning on coming back for the birth and for how long? An induction can take 3 days if your body is not ready too.

I can totally relate too this. My partner is working in cyrpus six weeks at a time and has one week home. He isn't coming home till a couple weeks before she is due and my family are going too be away on my last four weeks off pregnancy and I am thinking all the same thoughts as you.. Its so worrying!

@ClaudiaRoseAitken what a coincidence with our name 😂!

It's so stressful! Have you spoken to your MW about it?

8.5 years ago I was offered an induction on my due date for a similar reason- (DH was due to go away for several months 2weeks after due date). They decided not to do it as I wasn't showing any signs of natural labour at that point, and would likely have caused a painful, drawn out labour and distressed baby. She came naturally 5 days later.

Two years after that I had DD2 when DH was in Afghanistan, and he met two weeks later. I missed him at the birth, but long term, it has had no effect on their bond etc.

Concentrate on building a strong support network because motherhood can become very lonely when your partner works away.

I know right I have never met another Claudia before either 😂 No i haven't, I haven't seen my actual midwive since I was 8 weeks so I don't even have a close relationship with her Iv had other ones instead 😂 it's so worrying and not nice not having your partner with you when you need them aswell being heavily pregnant and I also find myself making scenarios off things that are going too happen and when I tell people they laugh at me and say yeah that will never happen but you never know 🙄🙄