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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Boyfriends a pr*ck

12 replies

Eimz · 13/01/2020 21:23

Hello
I really need someone to talk to. My partner and I have been together a year and a half and I am 19 weeks pregnant.
He comes from a horrible family and his father is a drug addict who introduced him to cocaine. My partner is addicted to this stuff. Last February his dad attacked me in his home he reefed my hair, and hit me and took my phone. I clearly left the house and my partner followed and I begged him to go back and get my phone so he did and we left and I never ever returned to that home or was in his father company again. We were happy living together in my house but whenever we argued he would go back there and party and take drugs. At the start of my pregnancy he left and took all his savings from his savings account and spent it on cocaine. He lied and lied. He binged for a few days then I forgave him etc then he did it two more times within the 3 months. I then left him and took his back providing he stayed away from drugs. He did this until Sunday when he told me he was going to his mams house but ended up going to his fathers house and binge drinking and drugging. I found out today when he came home to my house and was drunk and slurring his words and I knew he was lying about stuff etc. So I hit him with his shoe and kicked him out.
I am so upset. How can he keep choosing that life and his father over me and the baby. I go to work 5 days without fail I save and save etc. He is in between jobs and has no savings. His father has a girlfriend who got my partner in trouble with the law etc they are no good.
Please give me the strength to walk away, my heart aches for my un born child.

OP posts:
ToastandCheese · 13/01/2020 21:26

This is a mess.

Think about the situation your child is being into, they don’t deserve this. Is the best your baby deserves a druggie father? He isn’t going to change. Prioritise your baby and not this man.

LaurenL7 · 13/01/2020 21:39

I’m so sorry to hear this but I’m afraid I agree with @ToastandCheese. You need to do what is best for you and the baby and being around a man who takes drugs is not the answer, no matter how much you love him.

PityParty4one · 13/01/2020 21:43

It's not down to his family. He is choosing to behave this way.
He is choosing to put drugs before you and his child.

Stop blaming others a d see him for what he is.
You have a responsibility to protect your child and provide a safe loving environment and if you chose to stay with this man you are not meeting that responsibility.

Chose your child and yourself not this abusive drug addict.

LH1987 · 13/01/2020 21:58

I'm so sorry you are going through this! Kick him out and don't take him back, you don't deserve this and the baby definitely doesn't. Is there anyone you can go to for support?

Babymomalove · 13/01/2020 21:59

I know that I can't stay with him. It's just so hurtful how he can treat me like this. I have my family's support and love to walk away, my only fear is when the baby is born and I'll have no choice but to leave my baby alone with him and his family. The drama they have is unreal. I was in the home last year and a window was smashed with a brick.
I'm scared. I feel bad for him I really do and I would hate to keep his child from him but I would hate to leave my child with him.
I cannot stop crying

ToastandCheese · 13/01/2020 22:03

Of course you have a choice.

nicciw87 · 13/01/2020 22:04

U won't necessarily have to give unsupervised access u need to contact a solicitor about access as soon as possible and say u want him drug tested before access is allowed. U can do this I finally got the courage to leave my ex after nearly 10years and 3 kids later and being a single mum was so much easier

peachypetite · 13/01/2020 22:04

First the smoking thread and now all of this too. You really need to start putting your baby first. Only you can find the strength to do that OP. You and the baby both deserve better.

PityParty4one · 13/01/2020 22:06

Why do you feel bad for him?

Hes not a child caught up in a situation he has no control over.
Hes an adult. Hes choosing this lifestyle.

You do have a choice.
Please stop pretending this man is some poor hard done by soul.
Also if the love you and your baby have for him has not changed him now why do you think it ever will?

piperk · 13/01/2020 22:08

You have a choice. Walk away I did I also went through years of court to keep my child safe. The result a beautiful, clever, loving and stable
15 year old boy. Don't be stupid.

Missarad · 13/01/2020 22:23

Move in with your mum. Get your strength other wise social services will be involved and if you cant keep baby safe then take baby. That I think is the strength to move on lv. Dont put his name on certificate

stevenage42 · 13/01/2020 22:58

Why on earth would you choose someone like this as a partner, let alone to be the father of your child?
You need to get away. Far away. And limit contact for now. Speak to relatives/midwives, gp... anyone who might be able to offer support in real life

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