Solo parenting... what to do now?!

[Anniemcmc1]

Hi,
So read plenty of posts on here so thought I would ask for some advice myself...
I'm 23 and was with my babies dad for 3 months when I found out I was expecting. I'm now 5 weeks (very early!).
When I told him last week he went quiet and then tried to convince me to have an abortion. I am pro choice but couldn't do that.
We haven't really talked as he needs "time". He's now said he doesn't know why he should accommodate my decision in his life when he didn't get a say. He said he wants to support me but "doesn't feel it".
This has deeply hurt me as I never thought I would do this alone. We had the perfect relationship (even if not long but it was a special one) and I never thought he would react in this way as he's always been so kind and loving.
Even though he's made it clear he doesn't want this he's still asked to come to appointments and scans before I ended it.
I couldn't get an answer from him if he wanted to do this with me so I told him to only message me when he wants to be apart of this and blocked him (unblocked now)
I have an early scan in February and a midwifes appointment. Should I tell him about them? I don't know if seeing him would be hard or if he doesn't react how I thought and I'm hurt all over again and it will be like picking a scab. I just don't know. I think deep down I'm hoping him to change his mind when he sees our baby.
Lots of mixed feelings but very supportive family and friends along the way just need some more help!!

You didn't have the perfect relationship, you'd been together 7 weeks when you got pregnant! You barely knew him. I'm not berating you for that but don't imagine you know him or you can rely on him for anything.
If he wants to be a father then he can be when the baby is born. Everything up until then is your own personal medical business and he doesn't need to be coming.

You didn't have the perfect relationship, you'd been together 7 weeks when you got pregnant! You barely knew him. I'm not berating you for that but don't imagine you know him or you can rely on him for anything.

This.

It’s a huge shock for you both. I think the sensible thing to do is distance yourself from him and figure out things on your own. Plan like he won’t be around/involved.

I don’t know the guy but if I can offer a ray of hope then I’d like to
I’d been with my ex husband for 6 months when I fell pregnant and we were both young. He tried to talk me into an abortion but I refused. We ended up married for 6 years - he’s an idiot but he did stick by me in the end.
Fast forward and I then fell pregnant with my partner of 2 years - unexpectedly again!! He was dead against having any more children, almost convinced me to have an abortion but I couldn’t go through with it. Our baby is due in 6 weeks and he’s been busily decorating the nursery

I’d say give him time x

You will be absolutely fine.

Expect to do this without him. He might pop in but might not. If he's not interested then he's not important.

Get support from friends and family and know that it is totally fine to do this as a single parent.

I had my daughter when I was 22. Her father was around for a while but utterly useless. Honestly it was easier once he was out of the way.

As he has said, it has been your choice, so you can't force him to want this.

Best of luck, and welcome to the mummy club x

I think you need to figure out what you want yourself in terms of the relationship. Your post was mostly about that and feelings around that, but I can't help feeling that you are giving the guy mixed messages. You wanted him to be a partner in parenting - he wasn't sure but made the effort about coming to appointments and things (which seems like an indication he was willing to consider it at least, or he would have been the one to walk away) and then you ended it and blocked him.
I feel like you need to decide what involvement you really would like him to have and go from there - and be honest with him about it. If you don't want him on the scene at all, that's one thing, but otherwise (whatever level of involvement) it's really important to keep communication channels open.