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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Boundaries

5 replies

mummaB89 · 12/01/2020 09:49

How do I tell my mum not to come over until she is invited? I'm 37 weeks pregnant with baby no.3. With previous DC my mum has been here when I've got home from the hospital. She has a key to my home so she just let herself in without us knowing and was sitting in the lounge when we got home. I understand people are itching to see the baby but we really would like some time to settle and for our other children to bond without my mum coming in and sitting clutching the baby all day. She isn't the type to offer help either, last time she was sitting in the lounge and said to my husband "are you gonna put the bloody kettle on" we was both so tired after being up all night and just wanted to get into bed. I've told others that until our other children have had time with the baby we aren't having anyone over and they have been very accepting of that but my mum thinks that excludes her. Shea already asked my sister in law when she will be coming over 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
shutupsteph · 12/01/2020 10:01

You just need to be honest! Just say 'mum, I know you'll be desperate to see the baby but we'd prefer it if you didn't come over until we ask you to' and if she's persistent, tell her she isn't to come over. End of. And if she does anyway tell her to leave. She might get annoyed but she'll soon forgive you (not that there's anything to forgive 🙄)

SnoozyLou · 12/01/2020 11:33

Change the locks?

I agree with PP. Or don't tell her when you are coming home.

Boymummy3 · 12/01/2020 11:41

Will she be having your other children when you have no3? I only ask as my mum is having my 2 when I go into labour so of course she's going to be here once we get home (I don't actually mind though as she will know to let the boys meet there little brother first before she gets cuddles etc)

I'd just be blunt and honest it's the only way to be instead of beating around the Bush just say you want your other children to meet their siblin and for you to get settled for the day etc before you have anyone coming over.

Boymummy3 · 12/01/2020 11:43

Also when she comes over if she asks you or oh to put the kettle on tell her she knows where it is and do it herself.

mummaB89 · 13/01/2020 23:59

@Boymummy3 yeah she's having the other two at her house though. I said to DH I'd like him to text her after and say I'm coming to get the children but I'll get her to text you when we're settled and ready for you to come over. I said to her today no one is coming over until the kids have had time with the baby but I know she'll think that doesn't apply to her

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