Hi ladies. I would welcome your advice. I have a 3 year old son and am expecting my second child. My son's birth was a lengthy induction and emergency C section which wasn't exactly fun, but not traumatic in itself. However, to my surprise I did find my stay on the postnatal ward a complete shock and I was left really traumatised from it. I had one night alone there and it was hands down the worst of my life. I think it was a combination of massive sleep deprivation, hormone crash, and being left unable to move with buzzers turned off. I had to yell for help when I was bleeding all over the place, would have to reach to my son's cot to grab the baby when he cried (quite dangerous after a section) and any time the nurses saw I was holding the baby they'd put him back in the cot out of reach where he would immediately start crying again. At the end of the night one of them took him away to 'give me a break' and then left him crying in the corridor for half an hour. This absolutely broke me.
When my husband came back in the morning I was a delirious, sobbing wreck. I couldn't even talk to explain what had happened. It really caused some damage to our relationship as I felt he'd abandoned me (even though I'd told him to go home and sleep as I was absolutely fine the day before). I had nightmares and flashbacks for a long time and think it was a massive contributing factor to PND and PTSD. All of this happened at Queen Charlotte's and that's why I'm not planning to have my second baby there.
I'm trying my best to prepare for this time around. I'm having CBT for my anxiety, and as this time around I'm having an elective C section at least I won't go into this already massively sleep deprived. My husband has assured me he won't leave my side, and I'll know a bit better what to pack (a lifetime supply of towels and the biggest pants in the world). But of course I am still terrified.
My questions to you:
- Any other women who have had traumatic births/birth experiences, how did you prepare for no.2? Any advice on how to manage these feelings? I went in for a scan the other day and just waiting in the antenatal waiting room had me in floods of tears.
- Has anyone on here stayed in the postnatal ward at St Mary's? How was it? Are there any windows? How were the staff on night shift? Did the buzzers stay on?
- Despite the insane cost, we're considering a postnatal stay on the Lindo Wing - if they have rooms (you can't book in advance apparently, just call once the baby is born). Has anyone stayed there postnatally? Would you recommend it? What was good/bad?
Thanks very much in advance for any advice you can share!