When to go on mat leave?

[RainMinusBow]

Advice needed!

I'm 39 currently pregnant with my third baby (first for fiancé). I work ft as a SEN 1:1 support in a primary school. My fiancé also works ft but we both work on pretty low wages.

Due date is 29/5.

Fiancé is keen for me to work up until 22/5 as after that half-term begins. I'd have my boys over this holiday of course.

Whilst I appreciate money is tight, I do worry a little that this doesn't give me much time to prepare or rest myself before the birth. Esp if baby arrives early!!

Work (in a nice way) thought I'd be leaving around April.

Huge thanks for any words of wisdom 😊

I went at 34 + 1 as I had 3.5 weeks of A/L to use and then mat leave officially begins 2 weeks before my due date.

This was perfect for me as a nurse I know I wouldn’t have lasted much longer as I’m constantly on my feet. Also had some SPD and was struggling to sleep more than 5 hours a night by 30 weeks.

I’ve been able to leisurely build baby items, wash and iron the baby’s clothes and relax before due date which is in 11 days.

I was worried that if baby was overdue I’d be bored though! So there is a balance. However I’m now being induced, so by the time baby arrives I’ll have had nearly 5 weeks to myself.

I think with 2 children already to look after you should consider finishing earlier to have some time to yourself and rest!

I've finished at 37 weeks in both of my pregnancies. Really would have struggled to do any longer - well, I was already struggling, just walking from the car park to the office wiped me out for most of the morning. This time round it was nice to have a few weeks with my DD before the baby arrived as well, given that I now have a newborn attached to my boob constantly so i can't always play with her.

That sounds very late for you to start your leave, I got to 35+5 in an office job before I had to admit defeat. Yes money may be tight but your health and well-being is much more important, if I were you I'd make a plan to perhaps go off at 37 but make sure your DP knows that if you need to start leave earlier you will!

I'm finishing in a couple of weeks at 36 + 5. I finished a similar time last time and my DD came 3 days early (well 4 if you count the day beforehand in labour!).

With my first I was still at work when they sent me to be induced. With the second I put my leave in to start a few days before I was due but took a week or two holidays before which worked out well. I need to make my mat leave last as much as possibly after birth this time so hoping I can last almost to the end but we will see. I doubt it!

I went on mat leave at 38w but baby wasn't born until 42w+1! It was such a long wait!

I plan to go on leave at 36 weeks, however this will be AL that ive saved and ill start my actual Mat leave on the 15 March.

Do you have AL left over that could be used up? In my work, you have to use your AL allocation prior to April or it gets wiped from the system. I see that you're due in May, but could you apply to have AL carried over and go on leave this way?

To me, 22 May sounds a little late but 'around April' sounds a little early. Maybe compromise on 8 May?

I went up to the days I gave birth both times because I really didn’t want to use my maternity leave before the baby came. I did reduce my hours a little bit and did odd days from home however. I don’t regret it all, so that’s just a different spin compared to some of the others.

I guess it depends how much you think you will need the rest?

I should really finish my chain of thought in my post lol.

That way, by using AL you'll still be paid.

Im due 20 March, to add context to my plans.

Well, neither your partner nor your employer get to choose, it's up to you.

I worked til 38 weeks last time (mostly desk-based job and I had an easy pregnancy).

This time I have a toddler, so broadly planning on finishing a week or two earlier than that to try and get some rest as I'm just a lot more tired than I was last time and want to be somewhat rested before facing into the newborn bit.

Kids at home for mid term is definitely not resting! So I personally would want more time than your partner is suggesting.

I'm also 39 and finished at 37 weeks as that fell on Christmas Eve and seemed a sensible time to finish. Having Christmas off with my partner was lovely however I'm now bored to tears, playing the waiting game is not fun. Whilst finances obviously play a big part I think you need to put your health first and think about how you think you'll feel later in your pregnancy. You can always change your mind and bring the date forward if you need to, most employers are pretty flexible and understanding in these circumstances. Don't feel pressurised by anyone, it's your body! Good luck whatever you decide xx

I worked until 38.5 weeks 2.5 days later Dd was born at 39 weeks same day I was induced. She is my first though.

I’m due on the 23rd may and I’ll be finishing work around the 24th April at 36 weeks. I’m a nurse and will have had enough by then and also have a 3 year old and want to soak up the last few weeks just being with him x

I was going to work up to 37 weeks, but I had a 10lb 5 baby and my back was complete agony so I ended up bringing it forward by 2 weeks. Don't commit to anything you can't get out of would be my advice.

Late as you can in my experience. You can always go early if you set a late date. You can't stay on if you've set an early date though.

35 weeks for me, the hours commute standing made it impossible to continue

I’m working until my due date basically but I have flexibility with my duties which makes this feasible :) I’ll be working from home mostly and doing meetings via Skype or phone x

I worked up until 3 days before my scheduled c section. It meant that I got as much time as possible with DS when he arrived, but I massively regret it. I was enormous, exhausted, spent the 3 days before he came on my feet tidying and getting ready then he came and boom life went insane. I'm due again in July and will be most definitely having 2 weeks off before due date. I will take it as holiday, and bloody relax whilst my DS is in nursery DH in in work and the house is quiet. More than 2 weeks would make me bored I think, but it would likely be another scheduled c section so I have the luxury of planning.

Im finishing next Friday at 39 weeks & really wish Id planned to finish earlier!

I've planned to finish at 36 weeks, currently nearly 35 and all of a sudden I'm struggling a lot! Baby is right up in my ribs, I'm constantly out of breath and not sleeping more than about 3 hours a night. No way could I carry on until 39 weeks the way it's going at the moment. I think you should give yourself at least the week before when your older kids are still in school so you can rest and catch up with yourself a bit!

I’m planning for 35 weeks

Thanks all. I really would like to finish a little earlier (SEN work is very emotionally draining and full-on as you can imagine). Just got to try to persuade OH now.

Never having had children before I don't think he quite understands how exhausting a newborn is. And my last one was born when I was 10 years' younger too!!

As I work in education I don't get AL. Obviously have the school holidays but they are unpaid (wages are spread out over year accordingly).

Hmm, you shouldn't be 'persuading' him... until he can grow a human for 9 months then birth it and care for it he needs to accept that it's your decision.