38 weeks and feeling guilty towards DP

[shutupsteph]

I'm 38 weeks and on maternity leave, just waiting for baby to make an appearance, but I can't help but feel incredibly guilty towards my partner.

He's been amazing throughout my pregnancy, really looking after me and the house with very little complaints and now I'm on maternity leave I feel like I should be doing all the housework and all the cooking etc but I just can't. My SPD is really bad and I'm exhausted. He's not pushing me at all, I just see how tired he is when he gets in from work and it makes me feel so bad that I couldn't do all the housework for him.

The last few nights have been awful, he's got a cold coming on so has been snoring which makes it practically impossible for me to get the little sleep I can do - a few nights ago I took myself to the sofa for a few hours in the night and he was upset with me for doing that because it made my pain so much worse and I guess he felt guilty so he said if he keeps doing it and I can't sleep to wake him up and he'll go downstairs. The night before last we did that, I felt bad but I was exhausted and he had offered. However, last night we went to bed and he was snoring quite loud but I kept feeling what I thought were contractions, I wasn't sure and really wanted to stay still and relax and concentrate (with the amount of pain I'm in everywhere else it's easier said than done) but his snoring was making it difficult to get into a zone, I nudged him awake a few times and eventually he said he'd go downstairs, I stopped him and said I'd rather he stayed for a little while but was awake so I could concentrate on these pains I was having. After about 45 minutes of me not knowing what the pains were and losing the patterns of the pain I asked him if he minded going to sleep downstairs because I didn't know how long I was going to be lay there waiting and off he went. The pains never picked up their pattern again so it was probably a one off but I feel so guilty this morning, he obviously can't see or feel the pains I was having and I don't want it to seem like I'd pushed him out of bed and used what I thought were contractions as an excuse?

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has this guilt? Also if your DP snores how do you cope? I have earplugs but they're so uncomfortable. I desperately don't want to keep pushing him out, going to bed together and cuddling etc keeps us really close and I don't want to lose that especially before baby comes and shakes everything up

Morning OP.

I know how you feel, I'm only 17 weeks but feel the same guilt. I've suffered badly with morning sickness and insomnia so haven't had the energy to do ANYTHING for the past 3 months.

I work part-time but even that is a real struggle most days and I just have to sit down (and stay down) when I get home.

DH works full-time in a really busy, demanding role and when he comes home he does EVERYTHING around the house with no complaint.

He has a sore back and I can see it's a struggle for him sometimes which makes me feel really bad. I tell him to leave it and I'll do it later but he says it's OK and carries on regardless.

I'm hoping I get some respite soon so I can start pulling my weight again as we have a long way to go.

For you however, you only have a couple of weeks left until your little one arrives so use this time to get as much rest as possible. You can always make it up to DH later.

Sounds like you have an absolute diamond there x

Oh Steph, we could be the same person! 38 wks too, and married to a chronic snorer! (I remember the first time I stayed over at his... Heard the snoring, thought it was gonna be a deal breaker... Reader, I married him!)

Please don't feel guilty. It's an incredible thing we're both doing here, and it sounds like your DP knows it! You need all the sleep you can get these next few days. My big sis has not stopped telling us that we mustn't feel weird about sleeping separately leading up to the birth and for a few weeks after if it makes life easier for us. It sounds like you don't have a spare room though?

Essentially, you've gone through morning sickness, hormones, nothing bloody fitting, a whole host of side effects that will be individual to you. Don't feel guilty about asking DP to sleep on the sofa for a few nights.

For the snoring - silicone earplugs, the one Boots sell for swimming. I use one earplug divided in to two, cos they're huge. Only thing that blocks the noise!

Best of luck, sweetheart, and be easy on yourself xxx