Are these anxieties common?

[SprogMaker]

Hi everyone... seeking some feedback please!

I was shocked and awed to get a BFP right after Christmas. DH and I had heard story after story from friends, relatives, and acquaintances about the struggle to get pregnant, and being 34, I just assumed it would be very tough to conceive. I was often lazy with contraception in my 20s and never had a scare, figured I was probably not very fertile etc. We started trying in December, figuring it could be up to a year before/if we had success. Anyway, we got pregnant first try and I was shocked, but also delighted.

So, because I really wasn't "ready", despite the fact that we were deliberately trying, a whole bunch of anxieties have jumped up on me - do other soon-to-be mums get these?

I was on medication on-and-off until mid-October. You're meant to be off this medication for at least a month before you TTC (can cause birth defects etc). I was off it for two months before we tried, and figured we'd have a good many more months before baby came along, but now feel really stressed that I should have waited four, five, six months. The research clearly says one month, but I feel so worried I'm going to have caused a birth defect in my baby.

On top of that I just generally feel worried that I didn't eat enough folate, drank too much over Christmas, wasn't careful enough with my nutrition, etc in those first early weeks before I knew I was preg and fear I'm going to have caused all kinds of problems for my little one's development.

I have an appointment with the doctor next Monday and will ask about this stuff, but am wondering if others have felt/thought this way when pregnant, or whether I really have good cause to worry given my laxity in the first weeks post-conception.

Thank you.

Hi and congratulations on your BFP, hope you have a smooth and lovely pregnancy!

Completely normal to worry about things this early on, I'm 34 weeks and still worry about loads of things.
About folate etc, just start taking folic acid now so it gets into your system but please don't worry about not taking it before.

I think it's a good few weeks before the placenta takes over and starts putting things across to little bean anyway so again, please try not to worry yourself about things you may or may not have done. I bet thousands of women have drank etc before finding out they were pregnant. The first trimester can also be tough for a lot of women so good nutrition goes out of the window anyway, more about what can be kept down!

Please discuss your concerns with your Dr/midwife if it helps reassure you but the chance of a lot of things are rare and nothing to do with anything the mum has done so please just try and relax and enjoy your little bean

Was the medication roaccutane? I was waiting to come off this before trying to for our baby, I spoke to the dermatologist who said one month is fine , I was worried too but I think the month timeline is docs being over cautious, I imagine If they say a month then it's probably out of your system in 2 weeks. I didn't get pregnant until 5 months after but I wasnt worried about trying immediately after the month!

Oh and congrats!

@SparkleUK, thank you so much. DH drove us straight back to the late night pharmacy for prego vitamins (and some more pregnancy tests just to be sure!) the night we found out! I’m going to see a nutritionist next week too because I eat a vego diet, so want to get the tick that baby is getting what she needs. You’re so right about the first trimester and sickness etc. disrupting nutrition. I also think about my grandma who had six kids, including twins, all at a time well before plentiful fresh fruit and veg, let alone prenatal vitamins!

@secretlama thank you!! Yes! It was roaccutane. It really did wonders for my skin and the low mood I was having from so many breakouts at my age, but I’ve been cursing it these last few weeks because I’ve been so worried. You’re totally right though, they wouldn’t say one month if that was going to be coming too close to the wire, they are very cautious with that medication when it comes to pregnancy. I’ll talk to the GP next week, and I’m going to go back to the dermatologist who prescribed it to have an extra discussion with her too.

I suppose this constant worry and guilt is just what I'm in for now as a mum, hey 😬

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

If the pills say you need to be off them for a month before TTC, then that is exactly what they mean. You will always find something to worry about, particularly in the first months. NHS advice is take folic acid and vitamin D, but that's all. And lots of women drink before they know they're pregnant. In the first few weeks, the baby is isolated from your bloodstream as it's living off its own egg sac. Try not to tie yourself up in knots (easier said than done, I know!)

** I do agree with other posters that drug manufacturers will always err on the side of caution and it's probably safer sooner, but they wouldn't tell you to give it one month if you really needed to give it two.