When did you decide what to do about work, after mat leave finishes?

[flissity]

I am around week 20 pregnant with 3rd. My current youngest is 8, so its been a while!

I am starting to think about what I'd like to do when mat leave is up. Obviously lots to think about, have had brief chat with local child minder etc.. I would be ok (financially) not going back to work, but don't really want to be out of the job, and can see myself not being happy being 100% sahm.

when did you properly decide what you would do about work?
Thanks

I can't say for certain that this is how it will go because I'm expecting my first, but as soon as I found out I was pregnant I knew that I didn't want to be a stay at home mum, I love my job and I've worked really
hard to get where I am so my job will still be a priority.

It's almost not worth me going back to work after mat leave, we live very far away from family and I wouldn't feel okay sending the baby to a childminder that I didn't know/wasn't recommended to me so we've looked at a few day nursery's that cost the earth but would allow me to go back to work.

In my head I have decided that when I return to work (end of Oct) I'll go part time for three days a week then in Jan 2021 I will go back full time. It's SUPER expensive to send the baby to nursery full time but at the moment I can't see myself not going back full time? I'm fully prepared for this to change, I might end up going part time permanently if my company allows it, on the flip side I might end up going back to work earlier and sending baby to nursery younger, I'm playing it by ear really

A lot of people (older generation) have told me I'm selfish for wanting to go back and for planning on leaving the baby with 'complete strangers' but I'm a firm believer that just because we have vaginas it doesn't mean that our sole purpose is to be a mother. Some women are born to be mothers and want to be stay at home mums and I truly respect that but personally I couldn't do it!

@shutupsteph - yes you are right in my opinion. Everyone is different!

I did stay at home for a while with one of my DC (they are 8 and 10) but since they;ve been at school and I have been at work out of the town I live in, I do enjoy the freedom!

i won't financially be much better off staying at home or going back to work, but once they reach 3yrs old, you do get 16hrs free childcare so that will help a bit!

I know a local childminder, she lives 5min walk from my house, and walks past our house on the school run each day.

I think I will feel settled when I've made my decisioin, work have 'okayed' it and childminder is sorted!

OP, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do and I have no idea how or when I'll decide what to do. Baby is not here yet. I have a few weeks left.

I do like having a career and I'm successful. But I can't help but feel that leaving a baby at just about 1 year of age is just too soon.

I might feel completely differently later, I just don't know. She's my baby and I want to influence her life as much as possible and not miss out. I don't want her to be raised by strangers or even her grandparents. Of course I want others to influence her too, but I would not be comfortable sending her to a stranger/ or grandparent 5 days a week from 8-6 from the age of 1.

I could feel differently once she's here. I'm thinking I either go back part time or I become a home entrepreneur and start my own business or something like that. I would love her to go to nursery maybe 1 day a week or a couple of mornings as week. But not all day every day.

No judgements to mummy's who do this in any way though. I totally understand. I just don't feel like it's for me ( at the moment ). I think going back to work when she's at school is probably the best option for me.

Am in the same boat, am self employed with 2 pubs (one we live above) so am always gonna be doing the paperwork side of things all the way throu maternity but regards to going back behind the bar is a hard one for me.
Am paying 2 extra wages between 2 pubs plus my maternity pay or what I can afford to pay anyway (especially in jan) am planning to stop Feb and go back August for Edinburgh festival.
But I don’t know how am going to work it. My partner would Mon to Friday 8-4.30 so I can do nights but would never be able to spend time as a family!
Am going back and forward with it

I’m 7 months in with my first.
I had a plan from the start and so far have stuck to it- dropping PT to 3/5
We have free childcare to cover it 👍🏻

I keep swinging in frustration though, DH has a super demanding career (breadwinner) whilst I’ll be stalling mine going PT. Part of me resents his lack of flexibility but he’s in a grossly understaffed NHS role so at the same time...I ‘get’ it!

Equally once baby is here I’m not sure I’ll want to return at all! As an experienced mum you can maybe hedge a bet at how you’ll feel about leaving baby so just work on your gut instinct/best guess for now.
As far as I’m aware you don’t ‘have’ to let work know until well into your MAT leave but if your work is anything like mine there’s a bit of an unspoken agreement that you let them know your plans before you leave. So they can brace themselves!

I currently do 24 hrs a week, so not full time. But if I go back I will do slightly less I would think. With the hope to up it again once school age! I feel I don't want to give up work, as my job is good, my bosses are so flexible with me, i basically do flexi-hours. So If i need to go to one of the Dc's assemblies, or sports days etc.. I can do it and just make up the hours.

I may decide to take the full 12 months... decisions decisions!! As this is more than likely my last, I want to make the most of it.

Lucky having free childcare! that does make decisions a bit easier!

@preggers2020 you can decide once the baby is here, they maybe such an easy baby that you feel like you have plenty of time to yourself (baby goes down for naps well etc..) or it maybe harder work than you thought and you may want the break!

@Melc84 I also sway between various options, don't forget that if you do decide something and it just doesn't work, there are usually ways around it.

In my head I have decided that when I return to work (end of Oct) I'll go part time for three days a week then in Jan 2021 I will go back full time

That sounds lovely but have you raised this as a possibility with your employer? If they are covering your maternity leave it will most likely be with someone full time on a fixed term contract if you are full time currently.

When you return who is going to do the other two days a week if you are doing three? What happens to them in January?

If you can make the case that you can do the whole role in 3 days instead of 5 why should they then start paying you to do 5 days again January if they now know its doable in three?

You (personally) might have already come to this arrangement with your employer (if so lucky you!) but it's amazing how many women don't realise that they aren't automatically entitled to flexible working that meets their personal circumstances on return to work.

Whatever you decide doesnt have to be permanent.
We planned for me to work part time. Decided how many days when DD was about 3 months. I went back to work for 6 months and decided it wasnt for me, so quit and became self employed.

I’m only 8 weeks so I honestly haven’t thought about what I’ll do, but I enjoy my job and going part time after mat leave could be an option. That said, I do want more than one child if possible and I know having two children close together would be really difficult to keep up with a career.

@RoomR0613 yes I have spoken to my employer about it, my job was becoming too much for one person to do anyway so they were recruiting for another me before I got pregnant - they're just having the second person cover the whole role as I have been until I return. They've made it clear that can deny me part time should I change my mind about going back full time as of 2021 but it's as secure as it can be that I'll return part time in Oct (they aren't technically allowed to ask me my plans when I return but we've always been very transparent with them and them with me)

Day 1 of my maternity leave (I didn't go back). I took the full 12 months though and told my employers at the end. There were a few "mistakes" with my pay that would have seen me a grand out of pocket if I hadn't said anything, so I made sure I had every last penny of holiday pay.

I went back to part-time work after 4 months. Now at two years I work full time most of the year (academic year)

@SnoozyLou I heard someone else who decided not to go back, told emplyers and then had a big tax bill. i don't know the details but its definitely something I will be watchful of! luckily i work in fnancial services so should be something we can avoid

I had a bit of a weird one with my DD - I was on a contract so had to go back when DD was 4 months old with DH taking SPL to cover until my contract ended when she was aged 8 months old.

I then found a new job much closer to home and more pay so took that and ended up working from when she was 4 months old without going back to be a SAHM. It works for us but situations can change quite quickly.

I did have to pay back my AMP but since I was in a training job then it wasn't much.

@flissity My employers filed the wrong maternity date with HMRC and told me they couldn't fix it so I had to contact them too. My employers only paid basic SMP and I'd already had tax deducted from my pay before that, but I didn't exceed the tax free allowance for that year so had some back in the bank end.