Does breastfeeding mean I won’t be able to leave the baby?

[lllllllllll]

I’m hoping to try EBF when my baby arrives, but am worried about how it will curtail my flexibility after the birth.

Will it mean that I have to be with the baby most of the time? Or will I be able to express milk so DH can do feeds if I’m away working for the day or the occasional weekend?

I’m also worried that EBF will mean DH will bond less with the baby if I’m doing all the feeds.

These questions probably sound silly to experienced mums but I’m new to all this and have no idea what I’m doing. Can anybody help?

Hard truths - babies only really care about their mums for the first few months and they want you 24 hours a day.

Before having kids, we planned for everything to be shared equally etc but it just didn't work that way. I ended up doing milk and cuddles and DH did food, washing and so on.

I doubt you'll be having weekends away in the first six months, to be honest! Maybe the odd day away but not a whole weekend.

cord - all babies are different, my DH loved doing the cuddles and bed routine etc and giving the occasional bottle when I didn't want to BF and DS was very happy to be with his dad.

No, mine was happy to be with either of us (we combi-fed), so we did pretty much share it equally when both of us home (I was on maternity leave so with her more). I resumed going out in the evening on my own at 3 months.

It very much depends on the family - there was a woman I met at one group who'd gone for a weekend away with her DH when the baby was 3 months, leaving it with GPs. Half the group were very jealous, the other half couldn't imagine how she'd been able to be away from the baby!

It also depends on the baby. Some combi-fed and formula fed babies don’t want to be separated from their mothers - it’s not all about how they are fed

I’m no bf expert but I think it depends on you and the baby. DD would happily have been left with DH or grandparents for a weekend at 2 months old (and I’d have been quite happy to leave her), but now at 2.5 she hates being away from me (and I her!)

I've never expressed. Started being able to leave her from about 7 months, for short bursts of time, but tbh I didn't want to go far. Even when I was desperate to escape! I would go and have coffee or a lie down and think "I miss my baby".

DH is doing all her primary care now; they bonded well from the beginning – she's napped on him in a carrier from the start, and he was the only one who could get her to sleep during the colic weeks. I'm able to leave her now at nearly 9 months as solids have kicked in and she's taking on less milk during the day. Because she takes on 10,000 gallons at night.

Expressing relies on a baby who goes long enough between feeds to find the time to do so, especially if you get one who'll only nap in the sling or pram for the first 6 months or beyond, or is a crap sleeper so you can't do it in the evening, etc etc. I literally have had no time to try it and my expensive electric pump is gathering dust.

The time does pass quickly though.

I think if you're considering days/weekends away within the first 6 months then ebf might not be ideal for you. I think every woman I know who ebf had very little time away (we'r talking the odd hour, no more)for the first year really- it's the main reason all of the mix fed (to various degrees)second time around! My dd fed every 1.5-2 hours during the day for the first 4-5 months, even if I didn't find expressing so unpleasant actually finding time to do it would have been very hard.