Help! I have done something stupid

[SleepDeprived2020]

Hi
I’ve name changed as I feel ridiculous . Please give me some positive stories . And don’t judge me.

So I’m 5 weeks + 5 days pregnant . Found out day before Christmas Eve. I might be a day or so less but that’s a rough calculation. I’ve never been pregnant before , so it’s all very new and I’ve been doing everything I can to have a good start. Following every rule in the book.
Until last night

My nausea has started quite badly , to the point where I’m going to have to call work today to phone In sick. I am to and from the bathroom and just feel dreadful. Not slept for the last few days.
I reached into my bedside cabinet to take some Cyclizine that’s prescribed for my nausea, it was about 11pm.
I was rummaging with my phone as a flashlight because DH was asleep as he had an early start and I saw the packet.
I took the pill and then moments later thought ‘shit that pill felt bigger than a usual dose’ . So I got my phone again and had a look with my glasses on and I’d taken 10mg of clobazam which is a seizure drug used if I have prolonged seizures back to back. It’s mainly known as a benzo drug for anxiety and psychotic events though I think, depending on the dose. I immediately panicked , tried to make myself sick and I couldn’t . I was googling and it just came up with all the ‘do not take if pregnant’ stuff. DH said clam down it is only 10mg and some people take worse and don’t even know they’re pregnant .
I called 111 for advise and they passed me from clinician fo clinician and eventually spoke to someone who knows about prescribed drugs . She said stop worrying , you’re just under 6 weeks, it was a very small one off dose, you haven’t vomited blood, passed out etc it’s fine.

But I can’t help but think ‘have I fucked up?’
Can you please reassure me with your own stories ?? Have you done anything similar?
I’m gonna have to call in work today anyway and will spend the day resting with the hopes that work are OK about me being off with sickness related to pregnancy . Not like I’m take the piss and being off hungover from New Years is it ?

Anyway thanks for reading this ridiculously long winded post . Please be kind I’m feeling very fed up 😓

Oh dear op, I just had my first baby and I know those worries, it’s a stressful time! I think what the clinician from 111 said was right, if you’ve not had any symptoms the baby should be fine, 1 dose isn’t going to make much difference and your body usually protects the baby. I know it sounds weird but I had super bad morning sickness and realised it was whenever I had an empty stomach, so would eat crackers and mint imperials all the time, would have crackers next to my bed too. Also found drinking lots of non alcoholic ginger ale/beer worked to settle my stomach, ginger is great for staving off morning (all day) sickness. You can even get ginger lollipops to suck on that prevent nausea.

I can understand your anxieties but at your stage of pregnancy the placenta isn't formed meaning your blood supply and babies isn't even connected yet. Id say there's a very very very low chance this will have any effect.

As your DH says people take worse before they know they are pregnant and throughout pregnancy.

Hi OP please don’t panic. One dose of clobazam won’t harm your baby. The main dangers of benzodiazepines in pregnancy are related to regular use.

If used regularly, the drug will build up in the baby’s system, affecting baby’s muscle tone, consciousness and temperature regulation if they’ve still got a dose on board at birth.

There’s also the danger of the baby withdrawing from the drug once they are born and are no longer receiving the drug via the placenta.

You are nowhere near giving birth and haven’t developed a placenta yet, so a single dose of clobazam isn’t going to do your baby harm! Any other risks related to benzo use in pregnancy are considered controversial and the link remains uncertain.

I’ve moved all medications I dont want to take during pregnancy to a separate cupboard in a Tupperware to stop me accidentally grabbing ibuprofen when I’ve got a blinding migraine! Have a clear out today to stop you panicking in future

(Ps I’m a doctor!)

Well, you can’t change what is done.
I don’t know the specifics of the drug.
What I do know is you have control over now. Try to look after yourself mentally as well as physically. The truth is likely to be know one can predict the effect at this stage, although a single, small dose is likely to be fine.
For the sake of you and your baby, can you find ways to cope- some mindfulness to help you stay calm, some exercise, good nutrition etc. The past is done, it’s now about how you deal with it.

Also, welcome to the hardest lesson in parenting. You are going to do things over next 18 years that are screw ups. Some will be big, some small. It’s hard when these affect the thing you live the most. You have to find a way to deal with it, or you will go crazy.
(Note: I went quite crazy in pregnancy, hormones, anxiety, life.... I was a basket case. It’s all fine in the end).

Actually- the point about the placenta is much more relevant. You are not sharing a blood supply, it will be fine!

Thanks so much @Inthebleakmidwinterzeveryone @PandaPink @nelbert19 , @cantchooseaname I think that’s all of you ! You have all made me feel instantly better (minus the sickness lol) I’ve stopped shaking from anxiety now thank you.
The recommendation of mindfulness is a good idea , I’ll definitely look into that.

@Nelbert19 , you’re wonderful thanks so much. My regular GP was useless when I went to see her to tell her I’m pregnant , she told me to self refer to the midwife which is fine but didn’t give me any numbers , I asked for advise on a few things and she brushed my concerns off as I have a medical condition and she doesn’t specialise in it so wouldn’t help.
I had no idea who to contact so ended up calling my GP reception who have referred me . So thanks eases some anxieties as I just felt so alone.
Your response is great, I tried googling about the drugs and it came up with all the science worst case scenarios and completely panicked me ! You are a good Doctor!

@Cantchooseaname do you know when you start sharing blood supply as I tried googling that and couldn’t find anything . I was probably wording it wrong !

The placenta starts around 10 weeks, that's why some people's sickness eases off then.

What's done is done. I totally understand your apprehension but you can't take it back and getting worked up will cause stress that you don't need right now.
Book an early scan to put your mind at ease. You'll feel great when you see that little heart beating away ❤️
Your partner is right, people take worse things and come off ok!