What was the best advice you go on getting through labour - help I am scared and an ameteur

[Turtle35]

any advice is totally appreciated....

Votes for birthing ball, gas and air and optimal foetal positioning - make sure when you sit down you're on a 'granny' chair, with your hips higher than your knees, and spend at least five minutes a day (prob much more recommended) on your hands and knees - watching telly, cleaning the skirting boards, whatever. Gets your baby into a position where it's back/spine is lying against your tummy (rather than against your own spine). Most chairs, car seats these days sit you in a slightly reclined position where baby is encouraged to lie cradled in your curved spine, if that makes sense. Not good position for the big day. Thought optimal foetal positioning was new age twaddle with number one who got stuck as in very 'poor' position and we ended up with epidural and cs (albeit no pain)) Tried it with number two and had natural birth with only gas and air. Felt like I'd run a marathon when ds was born, but also felt dead proud of myself.
Good luck. You'll be fine on the day.

I haven't read anyone elses posts because I'm about to turn in for the night. But the one thing I recall that worked for me was the positive mental attitude.

Lying there in agony and being told to get on with it and push by midwives. Thoughts sprung into my head of, I can't do this. Then I told myself a could and to get on with it and sure enough it was only a couple of minutes later when I had him. Something I carried on in my second labour when things got hectic and they wanted to do a section. Tell yourself you can do it and mean it.

Hope everything goes okay.

I'm on the epidural side of things - even better is the mobile epidural. While the mobile side of things is a fallacy (you're not, or at least I wasn't) it seems to be a lower (but continuous) dose so you still retain some feeling and getting up and about afterwards is a lot quicker.

Also, someone reminded me that it's only a day in your life - only a day, you can do it. Kind of put the fears in perspective for me a bit - I still had them especially during early labour, but kept reminding myself that chances were same time tomorrow I would have a lovely baby and the birth bit would all be over.

Oh the other thing someone told me (on mumsnet in fact) is that there are no medals on the labour ward. So if you do get by on little or no pain relief, that's fantastic, but if you do need it then you haven't "failed" or "fallen short".

I did feel like I'd "failed" in my first labour with ds1 which is ridiculous - I still got a beautiful little boy out of it, how can that be "failed"?! Second time around I had more faith in myself and my body, but still needed an epidural - it was a positive choice, I needed it and I still feel on a high that I "achieved" ds2.

Remember to breathe!

When I had my first baby I kept panicking and forgetting to breathe during contractions. it didn't help that she wasn't in a good position and I ended up with a forceps delivery. All was well in the end and I have a lovely healthy dd.

With my second baby I was determined that things were going to be different.

I stayed up on my feet as much as possible. When having a contraction I leaned on a chair or on the bed even against the wall. Took really deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth.

It was really painful if I tried to sit down so I spent some of the labour on the bed on my knees leaning forward over a pile of pillows. Made me feel a little less tired.
They brought me the birthing ball which I'd heard such good things about on mumsnet that I wanted to try but it was so painful to try and sit down on it I didn't use it. But other people have said it worked wonders for them so give it a try if you want to.

Don't go in expecting that labour will follow Your plan, every labour is different and there are no rules.

Every contraction is one less to go through before your baby arrives.

Drink lots of water.

Try gas and air if you want to. You might not like it but theres no harm in trying. I didn't like it with my first dd but with my 2nd dd I used gas and air for the last 2 hours and it was fab.

Try to stay relaxed, you can do this it's what you're designed to do bringing babies into the world.

It is hard work and it is painful, well I thought more uncomfortable than painful but maybe that was just me. But at the end of it all you'll have your lovely baby and it's all worth it in the end.

Good Luck and remember to breathe

No one told me that the pushing part of labour felt like doing a poo . If I had known that, my labour wouldn't have lasted as long as I would have known 'how' to push and that when it felt like I was going to the toilet, that i should carry on with that push and not try to fight it as that was me pushing the right way. IYSWIM. Embarrassing - sorry.

Hey Turtle! Someone said to me think of the biggest crowd you have ever seen - and remember that someone gave birth to each of those people - it's a common thing to do - and many many people go on to do it again!
In fact, throughout 28 hours of labour and 3 hours of pushing, I honestly didn't feel the need of any pain relief other than TENS, the pool and scoffing a whole cherry cake. It was hard work and sort of overwhelming, but I didn't experience it as pain. If I had , I would have had an epidural! I did breathe and make v physical noises on every out-breath, I did stay upright / in all fours / kneeling, I wasn't scared,and I did have a pool. I thught it would be a romantic mystical and emotional process - in fact it was boring and relentless!
But that's me, you will find your own way - once you're doing it, you really are caught up in doing it, and you won't be worrying about it like you are now! Good luck, and enjoy your baby.

my advice (I was terrified too) go with the flow, i screamed my DD out, my body took over and did what it had to, it hurt like nothing on earth oh but the feeling when you see that babe for the first time

I went into it having read lots of things about labour but with an open mind. Din't want an epidural but hadn't ruled one out - didn't have one as it turned out and am very glad of that. However, this time I am also not ruling anything out. One tip is to have lucazade - I didn't want to eat anyting but was in labour for a long time and it helped to keep my energy up. I also had a very supportive dp and a lovely midwife who kept me very upright - it really helped avioding tearing.

Good luck - go with what your body tells you!

"BE flexible" has to be...

I had baby 4 this year and what made it easy was moving around - I did a kind of rocking dance and kept on my feet as much of the day as possible. Proper labour lasted 20 mins so something worked! Most importantly don't have preconceptions of your dream labour - what you want is a healthy baby. I've never made a birth plan which is good because none of my labours have gone to plan and yes, that last bit does feel like doing an extremely large poo, but so much more satisfying! Good luck, you'll sail through it.

This isn't a tip for getting through labour, but might be worth knowing - take arnica during your labour as it works wonders in preventing bruising down below (I was told about this at my NCT antenatal class).

I took arnica last time (actually forgot to take it during labour, think I only started just after birth) and I had a second degree tear with lots of stiches but was in less discomfort than some of the other ladies on the ward who had no tearing but were very bruised. MWs kept commenting when they checked my stiches on how amazing it was that I had no bruising.

In case I have just made you shudder with talk of tears and stiches, I did have an epidural in the end, which made second stage difficult and so had a ventouse delivery - hence tearing. Tearing and stiches weren't painful of course because of epidural (and might not have happened if I hadn't had an epidural) and everything healed up really well afterwards with no problems.

I was scared first time and I think I did find getting as much info as possible helped, as at least I understood what would happen. I'm about to have my second (am 40 weeks plus now) and have to admit to still being scared second time around, hence I've been reading all these tips too. I think the most helpful tip for me from others here is the fact that each contraction is one less to go through and that if you are feeling it is all too much to bear, that it really WILL end and you WILL have a baby at the end of it. I really did find that quite hard to believe last time - can remember feeling (before epidural) that it would never end and I would never actually manage to produce the baby. I could have done with someone reminding me of this and making me believe it.

Wow, I am overwhelmed at the amazing responses on this thread, it's so reassuring to know that I can turn to MN and get such educated, positive advice that really makes a lot of sense.

Thanks to everyone who posted!!

I sat on the ball and it just really seems to take some of the pain away. I'd describe as that the only really painful bit was the very peak of the contraction so that I was only using G&A for the very worst bit so that I was 'coming round' again inbetween, iyswim. IF you suck on the G&A all the time you just go all wobbly and 'out of it'.

I rocked on the ball which really helps too and the rocking got more vigorous the worse the pain got. I sat on it facing the bed and used the end of the bed to pull myself towards it and push away. DH sat behind and just steadied me on the ball by holding my hips lightly.

As well as being great for the pain, it helps the babies head to get into the right position so it actually helps the labour process as well as helping with pain.

That's my experience anyway - I was sceptical and would never have believed it would make such a difference until I tried it.

Oops, should be 'baby's head' - sorry!

yeah! bounce on the ball THEN get and epidural!!

Have you tried the ball in labour JoolsToo?

No but I've tried 'the ball' in conception - that was excellent - AND I've tried 'natural' labour and and epidural - no prizes for guessing the winner!

Tons of advice already about getting through labour - can I add my two penn'orth for the actual pushing? With ds1 I tried to push kind of...neatly, there was a bit of me holding back and I was also worried about doing a poo! It took me a while and a lot of wasted energy to realise I really had to give it all I had. With ds2 I remembered and once I had to push, I PUUUUUSSSHHHHEEEEDDDD! It is - and forgive me for this - just like doing a poo! Don't try and push to the middle of your vagina - where the baby is coming out, push as hard as you can as if you are emptying your bowels. Honest! I know it sounds bizarre but I have said it to a couple of friends expecting first babies and they said it was good advice.

And, like others have said, try not to have pre-conceived ideas and fears - just take it as it comes. You will get through it, it willl hurt, but it's do-able Good luck!

See...ja9 said it too!!!!

Do you mind if I don't read all the posts and just tell you what helped me...., sorry if I repeat

• 1st off active birth classes really helped me prepapre mentally and a bit physically.

• I was told, and kept telling myself, it's going to get alot worse.... and then it never did. So went in with the mind set it's never as bad as you think it's going to be

• That no-one was going to tell me to lie down or put me in a position I was uncomfortable with. Threfore I felt comfy pacing the room and then having her standing up, one leg on the bed, one on the floor, using the bedstead to hold onto. Noone was moving me out of this position and I felt confident of that after what I had been told in my active birth classes, I was doing this my way!

• My mum told me that when she had me it felt like I was coming out through her back passage and it felt wrong. So when I felt the same way I didn't panic, I just thought no this is okay this is what mum felt, this is normal and relaxed

• The burning stinging but as the head crowns is normal and won't last long

• MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL - when that head is out, PANT, don't do anything else, just pant, the body will 'slip' out and that way you shouldn't tear. Once that head is out just don't even think about pushing agian, panting will prevent you from doing anymore pushing.

Good luck and enjoy.

rescue remedy was useful during my 2nd birth. well tbh it could have been anything I was having but the very idea of being 'rescued' seemed to calm me down!!

I realised I've focused on the birth bit more tutle, so early on this is what helped me

• a tens machine. Don't know if it helped with the apin of the contraction, the bloody thing irritated me more so was a great distraction, i couldn't tell if it was working so I kept playing around with it. You can hire them from Boots a month or so before your due date.

• I paced the hall, went up and down the stairs, ran a bath, got in and got out immediatley it felt wrong, threw up - projectile but only once, and when they got really bad and there were no gaps in between I got on my hands and knees and just got throught them, as you will

In the car on the way to hossie, I hung onto the hand grip thing with both hands and kept my eyes shut the whole way!