Effects of a second child

[Mog]

Since I'm expecting number 2, I'd love to hear some encouraging stories from people of it being easier and better than they expected having to juggle two children ( mine will be 20 months apart). I'm getting some horror stories thrown my way! Also my first child was a very easy baby and still is an easy child. I have this fear that I've had my easy one and the next one will be a nightmare! Anyone had two easy babies?

JoPat - I can sympathise and only said to my other half last night that we should be making the most of all the sleep we are getting now and not grumble on the rare occasion when ds (18mths) wakes in the night - it's only going to be worse in Feb. I think pregnancy is harder second time round in that you dont have time to focus on yourself at all and the weeks just go by taking care of the first child. I worry if I'll ever feel energetic again!

Having said that I cant wait for a little one again and look forward to them playing together (hopeful!!) in the future - are we mad!!!?

Anyone out there got a big age gap - my ds is 5 in November and at the moment we are only in the trying stages but wonder what other people have experienced with a larger age gap - say 5 to 6 years?

There is a gap of 5 years between my ds and dd; in a nutshell, I had such a difficult time with ds (birth, bf, pnd, everything that could've gone wrong did!) that it was a long while before I wanted our second. It has worked really, really well - being able to spend the days focusing on dd while her brother was at school was the main advantage when she was a baby. For us it has worked incredibly well. Good luck!

Lulu, I have large-ish gaps between my four; smallest gap is 4.5 yrs, then 8yrs then 9yrs. It wasn't planned that way, it just happened!

As with Mopsy, I found it was fine, each of the older ones was independent by the time a baby came along, I've never needed a double buggy and so on. The oldest two, with 4.5 yrs between them played together okay and with the bigger gaps, although they did't play together the older ones entertained the baby.

The biggest positive effect is that the younger two have had a more rounded experience of the world, due to having siblings at uni, knowing siblings friends etc. The negative side is that they have found it a bit harder to mix with children their own age as they are not used to the sorts of games a group of, say, pre-schoolers will play. They soon catch up, though, once in nursery/school.

Agree with Suedonim - my gaps are 3, 3 and 5. The first 2 were both girls and played together well (partly because DD2 is really bossy and DD1 is really tolerant.)

DS 1 and 2 have not got along particularly well until recently (and DS2 was not good at mixing, as she says, although he generally gets on loads better now). However they have recently got a common interest, as DS2 suddenly cottoned on to football, which has always been a passion of DS1, and have got on amazingly well lately (aged 14 and 9. It took a while!)

lulu, the age gap in itself isn't necessarily significant. DS2 has a friend older than him, just turned 10, who has a baby brother not 2 yet, and he is thrilled with him.

It's down to individual personalities as much as anything. Be positive! Generally they love having a sibling - assume they will get on fine and they probably will (eventually...)