Second pregnancy - depressed?

[Randomname85]

I have just found out I’m 3 weeks pregnant. I had a miscarriage early November so it’s happened very quickly. However this time I feel completely differently emotionally.

My daughter is 3 next month and she is my world. She is extremely high needs and has been since birth. Never took a bottle it’s dummy and won’t go to bed for anyone except me (still now). She is very energetic and still wakes frequently in the night. She’s a handful in the day and wants constant interaction, doesn’t enjoy playing alone with her toys. Above all that she is complete character and the love of my love.

I’m worried about not feeling this same love again for number two - I have read that is normal, but when do these feelings go away I feel miserable.

On top of this I’m TERRIFIED of having another high needs baby, so much so I’m actually seriously considering formula feeding from day one just to avoid the bottle and dummy issues and the constant need for mummy (I’m still breastfeeding my daughter).

I would just really appreciate some reassurance that what I’m feeling is normal. I feel extremely lonely as my husband is over the moon and although I plan to talk to him about my feelings at some point I don’t want to burst his bubble.

Bumping

I think it's hard to imagine loving another baby when you have such a magnificent bond with your first child but when that baby comes along you are going to create a very similar bond. I remember getting home from hospital and crying my eyes out because I felt awful for my first child. It was really hard for him to adapt to sharing mum and dad. The 2 of them were completely different in nature and the 2nd was a much easier baby! I say just try and involve your daughter as much as possible so she doesn't feel like the baby is taking her place.

Thank you@Delbelleber 😊 I actually feel a little better today!

Just restarting this as I’m actually feeling so much worse today. I feel completely low and depressed. I wouldn’t say it’s even for the things I mentioned in my OP just a general feeling of hopelessness. I didn’t have any kind of low mood or fatigue/nausea in my first pregnancy and now I seem to have it all. I’m so early (about 4 weeks) and can’t imagine feeling like this for one more day let alone the whole first trimester. Any words of wisdom/advice?

I had prenatal depression for the first 7 months of a much wanted pregnancy was awful but then one day it just went. It’s not as talked about as post natal depression but it’s very real.
I had it again a few pregnancies later ( have 8 Dc) that time it only lasted three months.
Please get some support from your midwife.

I didn’t have post natal depression in any pregnancy , just to reassure you.

Have you had contact with a midwife yet? I would open up to them and see what support they can offer you

Thank you @MyDcAreMarvel

@ boulevardofbrokendreams I haven’t yet, I’ve self referred and am waiting for them to contact me.

If you can, I would call your doctors tomorrow and explain the situation and I’m sure they will try and get the midwife to call you.

Hi op. I hardly ever post on here but read your post and wanted to say, I’m feeling the same. I’m 8 weeks pregnant with an almost 2 year old son who is my everything. I feel so sad for him. I feel sick and tired all the time which doesn’t help. And feel hopeless for the future.

My husband is also delighted and although he’s been supportive, I’m getting the feeling he’s sick of hearing about me feeling low now.

This must not be helping you at all!! Sorry. But my point is I saw my midwife for the first time this week and she reassured me that this seems normal, she said that I’m “in the thick of it” when it comes to hormones. She was keen to speak to me at 16 weeks and if I still feel the same she would be concerned/offer support.

Hoping that this is just the hormones and coming to terms with such a massive life change, for us both! Take care of yourself.

Aww @Aug2020 so sorry to hear you’re feeling the same. It does help me though to be able to hear from someone else how they’re feeling. It’s tough isn’t it! I didn’t feel like this at all in my first pregnancy. I work from home luckily I can’t imagine how I would physically get to work everyday!

Solidarity to you!!

And yes you take care too