Am i bad for choosing abortion?

[Poppet626]

I am booked in to have a surgical termination on the 6th January, i will be 8 weeks and 6 days so more or less 9 weeks. I feel selfish for making this decision, i have had a medicam termination before at 5 weeks and 6 days, i didnt regret that atall and never had any second choice regarding it, me and my partner werent even techincally togther, we had been seeing eachother for about two months, didnt live together, i just knew exactly what i needed to do, straight away. This time has been slightly different, ive been really up and down. When i told partner he was not happy about it, very panicky, he still does not want this but has said either way he will support me. I just think for me, this is never how i wanted this to be, i know things are not always planned but i really wanted to be in a different stage in my life, i want to go travelling, i am not in a good place financially, neither is my partner, i struggle with my mental health, i know i want children but i just didnt want it yet. I keep seeing babies and feeling heartbroken. I feel so terrible about the decision. For me its just i know babies stress out couples who are happy and want the child. That is not my case here. I know i would love the baby regardless but i am also not prepared to become a single mum in my financial situation, no disrespect to anyone who is, i honestly admire you for it but im not very good with my mental health right now in life and could see myself really struggling to cope. Im only 23 and just feel i will be much better for a child when im a little older and a little wiser and more stable in all aspects of life. This is the hardest decision i have been faced with in my life, what is making me feel even worse is seeing pictures of a fetus at 9 weeks, with legs and arms :( it looks like a baby and it is breaking me. Im so torn here, i wish this never ever happened

No of course you aren’t. You sound like you are making a sensible decision to wait until you are in a better position. Many women choose to have an abortion every day for many reasons. Speak to an abortion counsellor, and get this thread moved to pregnancy choices.

You have made this decision for you. There will be plenty of people who will disagree because they don’t believe in abortion. They however do not live your life. You need to do what’s best for you and not be coerced by other peoples opinions and beliefs. You know how you feel. What I will say is this, if this is the 2nd one you’ve had maybe rethink your contraception if you genuinely don’t want children right now. Its a lot to put yourself through and unnecessary for the most part. Obviously I don’t know if there’s a specific issue but if there’s not go have a chat with someone to get yourself sorted with a better option.

OP, don't beat yourself up and please don't feel terrible. You've made a very difficult decision but you have to do what is best for you at this stage of your life. You are still very early on in your pregnancy, apparently you're not even pregnant for the first 2 weeks anyway as it goes off the date of your last period and most women don't ovulate until around day 14. You are only 23, that is very young, you've got years ahead of you to have a baby when you have done everything you want to do, found a man who wants to have a child with you and have become more financially secure. Babies are incredibly exhausting, I have full support from my DH and i'm absolutely knackered so can't imagine doing that alone. And it does affect your relationship so wouldn't advise if not completely happy. You're not booked in until the 6th so you still have time to change your mind if that's what you decide but either way you're not a bad person. Remember that xxx

Sometimes all we can do is make the least bad decision and ride it out. Life doesn't always present us with good path vs bad path, sometimes it's bad path vs less bad path. Having difficult emotions doesn't mean it's the wrong decision.

It sounds like you've made the best decision for you in your circumstances.

Will you have support around you afterwards while you recover and come to terms with things?