Calling in sick to work who don’t know I’m pregnant

[Jj93x]

Hi, this is my first pregnancy and my morning sickness has been so bad, I’m not physically being sick much but I can barely get out of bed with the nausea.

I’ve had to call in sick today as i feel so awful, I haven’t actually told my work I’m pregnant yet cos I haven’t had a scan and I’m so scared to tell people before hand in case something goes wrong.

I’m going to the doctors today so I’m obviously going to have to tell them at my back to work meeting, I’m just worried everyone else at work is gonna find out 🤦🏼‍♀️ I work for a big company and the office has around 200 people. If I tell HR in my back to work meeting are they allowed to tell anyone else?

Also how many weeks were you when you all told your work properly? I’m only 7w3d at the moment and I feel it’s too early :(

You don't need to tell them if you don't want to. I was off sick in early pregnancy and just said I had flu like symptoms, which was pretty accurate.

Of course they shouldn't blab to everyone. But I would suggest that you allow them to tell your manager.
Not saying it won't get out - it does happen in some places - but it absolutely shouldn't.

There is an official date you are supposed to inform them by, but it is fairly late in pregnancy. I was very poorly in the first trimester, so I told my boss as sickness when you are pregnant is not counted in the same way as general sickness; you cant be disciplined inline with the usual triggers. They should keep it just to who needs to know, likely HR but workplaces tend to have a habit of information getting out. I would wait until you feel ready, if you have a manual job which requires a risk assessment or adjustments when pregnant I would try sooner though, or if you think you might need more time off due to pregnancy related illness.

The sickness can't count against you if it's pregnancy-related, so in that respect it's in your interests to tell them. If it's HR you speak to and you ask them to keep it confidential then they really shouldn't be telling anyone else, so that's probably what I would do

No HR aren't supposed to say anything I thought. I didn't tell my work place until I was 16/17wks gone.☻ Didn't tell family either. You rest up OP.

I told work before I told my parents! If you want the protection of things like pregnancy related sickness not counting for HR purposes then you need to tell them you’re pregnant.

I told my manager the day after I found out, I trust her completely and I knew I needed someone at work who knew what was going on, especially if things didn't go to plan. She was more than happy to keep quiet until I was ready for senior management to know. If there is someone you trust in a more senior position to you I'd let them know but you're absolutely not obligated to tell them yet, I guess it depends how much sickness you've had/if it looks a bit dodgy? I was off quite a lot due to MH before falling pregnant so I felt more comfortable telling them then them thinking I was faking or at an interview etc

I had HG from 4 weeks so had to tell them. Pregnancy related sickness is treated differently and although I'd had previous miscarriages and was anxious it might go wrong there was no choice really. My manager was very kind.

I was off for 4 months in end. When I returned, physically obviously pregnant but nobody in my team apart from my manager knew. Everyone was very supportive when I got back. Hope you feel better soon.

Tell them. Pregnancy related sickness protection very important. They can keep it quiet and confidential.

I told work pretty much as soon as I found out. TBH I don't trust my manager at all but my work can be quite physical and involve long hours and after a previous miscarriage I didn't want to take any chances by pushing it. Plus I don't want my time off for morning all day sickness to count towards my sickness record.

Iv had two miscarriages this year of only my manager knew about. I needed extra support and time off.

I'm now pregnant for third time. I had to tell him at about 4/5 weeks as again I needed extra help. I physically cannot do my job as it's involves a lot of heavy lifting. I did want this to stay between me and him again.
But I also suffered with morning sickness and I went to my doctor and got altered hours as I normally start at 6 am and there was no way that was happening!!

I must admit I think everyone knows because I let the whole management team no because I didn't want to be judged for all my time off & I have felt more at ease because they support me.

I'm currently off with a really bad cold. And I don't feel I need to make excuses up anymore. I'm just looking after myself and baby. It's not all that bad everyone knowing. Just look after yourself

Absolutely HR because that way your sickness won't count and you will be protected including if you have a miscarriage. Miscarriages aren't caused by telling people about a pregnancy before 12 weeks. If that is what happens it will happen regardless (and sadly it would be a common scenario for HR/ the company to see). HR aren't allowed to tell anyone.

Personally I'd also tell my line manager. I'm speaking from experience btw - it's a lot less stressful if they know what's going on.

I’m 9+1 and will tell my directors when I go back to work this Thursday as I have a scan appointment next week and don’t want to take it as annual leave, I have a few appointments coming up so they need to know really so they are marked down Properly

Tell your employer. Mine has known before most of my family in both pregnancies. If anything did happen, you would need time off work & you’d have to get a doctors note that would explain why anyway. The way I see it, you have to work everyday & you can’t keep lying. If you need repeated time off or a long stint, you’ll eventually need a doctors note & they won’t lie. Plus absence during pregnancy doesn’t count towards regular sickness leave, so you have some protection. It takes the worry away.

One, telling work (or anyone) won’t cause your pregnancy to go wrong (obviously), so that’s one thing to try & get past.

Two, telling my manager & HR was the best thing I did. My manager was fantastic, so supportive of all the time off I ended up needing with HG (and I have a male manager). He didn’t tell a soul and I’d have been furious if he had. I’m a manager myself & these things are strictly confidential. I wouldn't dream of telling a soul until my colleague either told me I could or she announced it herself. HR themselves are legally obliged to keep such info private bar possibly your direct manager depending on company policy.

I have to say my colleagues all guessed I was pregnant, particularly the females 😄 but it was just rumours and none of them said anything until I announced it!

If you decide to not tell them now, once you do they will re categorise your sickness as pregnancy related. Personally, I think its easier to tell your manager now. I told mine at 7 weeks as I wanted to be open as to why I had so many medical appointments. She did not tell anyone, I really doubt yours would either. The only reason HR might tell anyone would be if you work in a job where it would be dangerous to the pregnancy i.e. working with chemicals and even then they would tell you before they did this.

I had to tell work as I'm a police Officer so has to come off front line duties. Had HG from 6 weeks so I've been protected as they can't count my pregnancy sickness.

Hope you're ok rest is honestly the best thing xx

If you're struggling with sickness and early pregnancy symptoms I'd probably tell either your line manager or hr. Any decent managers will keep it too themselves and will hopefully work with you to make things easier, sometimes just coming in an hour later helps or taking an earlier lunch.
Also, I mean this kindly, you cant jinx a pregnancy. If something were to unfortunately go wrong it wouldn't be because of Telling someone before 12 weeks or buying a pram and keeping it at home or any one the nonsense people spout will not x

OP, I would tell them. My manager and HR were the first to know. I didn't make a big announcement- I explained that I was pregnant and having some problems and that it's extremely early days and I would rather not have to tell them , as I had a previous miscarriage they didn't know about.

Everyone was amazing about it and said nothing.

This meant any time off I needed could not be counted against me.

I did the same as @worried111111. Pregnancy related illness must be recorded seperatly to usual sick leave and cannot be used against you. But you must tell your employer- they can then do a pregnancy risk assessment and make reasonable adjustments.

Useful information here Pregnancy sickness support

Can you ask HR to ensure it is kept confidential, other than from those who need to know?

I was going to tell my manager as I am a nurse so she knew why I wasn't doing certain things but I fainted at a doctors round and she guessed! The first time I waited until I had a private scan at 8 weeks..it gave me a bit more reassurance once I had seen a heartbeat.

OP I told my manager at 9 weeks for health and safety reasons. She kept it to herself but it meant she was sympathetic if I needed to work from home etc. She was the first to know. Not ideal but I think essential if you are poorly.