Significant other moan thread - am I being over sensitive?

[sel2223]

So my OH is mostly super supportive, totally on-board with this pregnancy (the first for both of us) and 90% of the time he is amazing.....running me baths, giving me foot rubs, calling on his way home to see if I need anything, holding my hair and washing my face when I'm sick, telling me I look beautiful even when I know I definitely do not

But there are times when I really do want to.punch him (joke!). I've been floored with tiredness and I'm not sure he gets it at all even though I've sent him so much stuff about fatigue in pregnancy. He keeps calling me lazy and making comments about how he can't believe how much i'm sleeping. He pretends he's joking but it's seriously doing my head in!

Then there's the sickness. I'm suffering bad and can only liken it to motion sickness as I get really dizzy and have to lie horizontal until it subsides. OH just keeps saying that every woman gets this, it's normal and everyone else just gets on with it! Apparently I am just giving in to it to easily and I should try to be stronger! Urgh!!!

It's making me feel so inadequate and like there's something wrong with me for not dealing with this better. Am I just being oversensitive?

I don't know what i expect much from posting this, I think i just needed a hormonal rant to be honest. I'm feeling super emotional today for some reason.

You should tell him how it makes you feel. You should not have to 'get on' with anything - just because some women might 'seem' to be getting on with it. Their symptoms might be no where near as severe as yours.

Every pregnancy is different and you're not being a wimp at all. You are suffering a lot. Tell him to keep his dumb comments to himself and yes you are sleeping a lot and that's totally normal too. I don't think you're being sensitive, I think he's being really dumb and I would lose my shit with anyone who said things like that to me. Completely ridiculous!

Tell him to shut up. He has NO idea what he's talking about.

He's not being supportive he's being really dismissive! Would he just "get on with it" if he had the permanent feeling in his stomach of just having done a shot of tequila (but none of the fun)? Or a virus that completely wiped his energy? I suspect not.

I'm "lucky" in that my partner has CFS and also a lot of gastro intestinal problems so he is super understanding (although often we're both as incapacitated as each other which isn't great!). Your partner really needs a lesson in empathy.

My DH did this .
Then one day as he was telling me Morningall day sickness wasnt that bad I threw up all over him in spectacular fashion.
Its hideous OP, give him a bollocking !

Err..how many babies has HE carried??
Thought not. Explain to him (in very small words) that you are making a new life.
It is exhausting.
Then tell him to grow up.

I have this with my husband - don't feel like calling him dear at the moment!
I'm 20'weeks pregnant with our second; first has just turned 2 and she's hard work.
I'm exhausted; I work full time, do all the running round after our DD, sort probably 97% of the house stuff out and because I'm emotional and occasionally snappy because of the hormones he is an arse.
I'm beginning to worry about my mental health, i suspect most of its hormone related but don't feel like I can talk to anyone yet because I'm unsure of who I rely on at the moment and the one person I should be able to rely on is the person who makes me feel the worst.
I'm going to talk to my midwife when I next see her but I do think that men should have to shut the fuck up with something they can literally never understand!
Pregnancy is hard!
Sending lots of love and support your way. X

I would definitely advise you to see your Dr about the sickness as no not all pregnant women get sickness that bad that they have to lay down!!!
Also it might be worth getting your iron checked and make sure you're taking any supplements you need to take, because It's exhausting creating another human being!
I was iron deficient in both pregnancy's and it honestly made he feel SO tired and emotional all the time. Once I took some tablets for a couple weeks I felt like a new women.
But at the end of it all Men just don't get it!!! Lol

Are you still quite early on in the pregnancy? (I'm assuming as morning sickness is usually strongest then). I ask because my husband wasn't particularly sympathetic until I started to 'look' pregnant...totally doesn't excuse him being rubbish as you generally feel the worst when you're not showing but I think until it was really visible and obvious it just hadn't sunk in for him yet.

My husband has been a lot better later in the pregnancy but early days I think because I looked the same he just couldn't get his head around it / saw me as being able to do everything the same. For example, he asked me to help him move a really heavy piece of furniture into the garden pre-bump until I shot him a 'did you really just ask me to do that' stare!

You're not being over sensitive but I think men / people who haven't been pregnant just don't get it and never will so you might need to be explicit with him about what you need help with or that you feel like he's not being as emotionally supportive as he could be.

Ah yes, my OH is a dream most of the time.

But he keeps making comments about how it can be THAT bad.. about everything!

We’ve been up the hospital for a few issues and have to go weekly now. While being monitored the first time a lady came in crying/shouting for help and was clearly in labour it sounded awful. OH scowled a bit and then said to me that he thinks she’s was being a bit dramatic and was over reacting.

There as another time a few weeks later when a lady was in earlyish labour next to us and I thought she was handling it really well, she was making some noise and groaning and telling her Ph and the midwifes that is was very painful, then told them when she thought she couldn’t handle it anymore but she wasn’t even screaming the house down like I probably would have been. Again OH thought she was over reacting and thinks ‘some women just like to make a fuss a bit more than others’

Ive been so, sooo tempted to give him a light slap on the bollox when he isn’t looking and watch him throw a fit like a little bitch then tell him he’s over reacting, being dramatic and just wanting to make a fuss.

Blokes have absolutely no idea!