Early pregnancy questions(first timer!)

[GaaaaarlicBread]

Hi ,

Thanks everyone who joined me on my journey of TTC baby number one .
It’s been very overwhelming but I found out yesterday that I’m pregnant. I went to see my GP as I have a medical condition that I just need to be monitored for (nothing major and it’s well controlled).
My Ovia app says I am 3 weeks plus 5 but dr said I’m 4 weeks today so not far off , must’ve implanted earlier than I thought .
So still early days and I am very aware that anything could happen , but still very excited .
I have so many questions - when do people tell work ? Close family ? I know most people announce it generally at 12-15 weeks but not sure what people do to close members ?
Also questions like what can I do to ensure I have a healthy pregnancy ? Did you do yoga or anything like that ?
I work for the nhs and recently started a new role so very reluctant to tell work immediately , but equally not sure how to hide things, Especially as I’m already starting with waves of nausea ! I could get away with maybe just saying I’ve been feeling a bit run down .

Anyway if you’re a mum please could you just give me your best advise ? Or if you’re a mum to be .
I don’t drink or smoke , do drugs or anything . I am also a very healthy weight the dr said . So I know that helps a little .
Dh is equally healthy .
Thank you ! 💕🤰🏼🤞🏼

Congratulations op. I personally discussed it with dh and we both agreed to tell one nominated person each from the get go. Everyone else found out when they asked. I stopped driving so the question on why I stopped driving came very quick and I gave an honest response. I stopped driving because pregnancy messed up my diabetes and it is a precaution I decided to implement. Legally I'm still allowed to drive. I didn't have car my previous pregnancies so most people found out very late. None of my children are on my social media, except when other people tag us in their posts. I told my freinds and asked dm to tell my side of the family and dh told his side of the family. I'm a private person and don't like telling people, that is why I delegated this task.

I only work part time at the weekends, which means none of my medical appointments conflict with working time. Would you need to attend more appointment because of your medical condition? You are allowed time off for antenatal appointments, but try to arrange them on your days off if possible.

Try to enjoy your pregnancy (which is definitely much easier said than done).

There's lots of advice online, some of it terrible, some of it better. I read a fair bit on

www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/week-by-week/week-4.aspx

www.nhs.uk/start4life/pregnancy/week-by-week/1st-trimester/week-4/

www.tommys.org/pregnancy

I bought a few pregnancy books but most of them just have the same info as those three.

A couple of exceptions:

Expecting Better by Emily Oster helps with evaluating the "advice" you'll get from every angle (the evidence for most of it is very sketchy, mainly because it's rarely ethical to do robust scientific research on pregnant women)

What No One Tells You by Alexandra Sacks is about the mental side of becoming a mother. It's very readable and has specific advice for dealing with common dilemmas about when to tell different people.

Staying healthy in first trimester - it's all the obvious stuff. Don't smoke, don't drink, do take folic acid. You might want to limit caffeine if you were drinking lots and loads of it, but a coffee or two a day has not been shown to cause harm.

The usual advice is to try ginger biscuits or ginger tea for nausea. It might work for you, it just left me with an overwhelming aversion to ginger.

Oh - constipation. Don't let it get bad. Drink loads of water and take a fibre supplement (eg Fybogel) if it becomes an issue for you.

Congratulations OP. Lots of good advice here already. There is so much stuff on Internet, but some is confusing or wrong. I personally took the decision to just go with whatever the NHS advice/guidelines are and not worry about anything else I read/heard/was told.

In terms of telling people, this is such an individual choice. Personally I told my close family a day or two after I found out. I work in NHS as well and told my boss and one work colleague very early on. I was quite new to my job and didn't know my boss very well, he was very understanding and I'm glad I told him as he "covered" for me a bit in the early weeks.

Congratulations!

I told everyone from early on I had a MC before ds1 so I knew that I wouldn't keep anything secret. I honestly don't think stressing yourself trying to hide it does any good either tell people or don't say anything and let them speculate don't worry about hiding it.

I didn't read books I just went with my mum and grans advice along with my gp and midwife.

Hello and congratulations!

I’m a first timer working for the NHS too - currently 9+2.

I told my immediate family at 6 weeks. I figured if I miscarried, I would want their support. I also told a group of close friends at this point because I was supposed to be going on a long planned boozy weekend away and didn’t want to fob them off with a rubbish lie! I would also have told them about a MC anyway.

We have had 2 early scans at 7 and 8 weeks, both showing healthy baby with a heartbeat. I’m now keen to tell our wider group of friends as the chance of MC is SO LOW and I’m sick of being the party pooper who isn’t drinking, or flaking out of plans because I’m vomiting! My husband however, is very superstitious and has only told his mum and does not want to tell anyone else until 12 weeks. Sigh.

With regards work, I’ve told my colleagues because if I’m vomiting, they’re the ones that have to cover for me. I’ll tell management at 12 weeks. You may want to tell your manager earlier depending on your role as if you do anything risky to pregnancy (microbiology lab, manual handling) you can undergo a risk assessment

Congratulations again on your pregnancy!

Hi OP, with regards to telling people, I wanted to wait until at least 12-14 weeks (I'm currently 9 weeks) but we're hosting Christmas and I'm off food with nausea so telling immediate family today and tomorrow.

Already told my son (he's 20!) as he's back from uni and could see that I'm 'not right'.

I'm not thrilled about telling people early but it is what it is.

Regarding when to tell people, I told my manager the day after I found out, I think I was about 5 weeks, but I really trusted her and asked her not to tell anyone else at work so no senior management knew until 12 weeks, I was confiding in her as a friend really but it was good to have someone at work who knew what was going on. I told close friends at about 7 weeks, mainly because it was a party and it's very unusual for me not to drink. Family were told between 8-12 weeks depending on who we could trust to keep quiet and everyone else found out after 12 weeks. It's entirely up to you, I personally felt that I needed to tell the people I was closest to because if anything had gone wrong I knew I would rely on their support. I don't necessarily think it should be kept secret until 12 weeks but I understand people's feelings entirely!

I told my best friend straight away as she lives close by and family doesn't, so if anything went wrong she would be there. My DH told some of his work colleagues as they are basically his pseudo grannies.

I told my manager at 7 weeks as I had bad nausea and needed some time off, and telling her meant it didn't affect my sickness record.

Told our family at 11+5 as it coincided with a visit down. We got a private scan along the way to make sure everything was okay, as I didn't want to announce to family and then a few days later on our 12 week scan have to tell them that I miscarried or there was abnormalities (as we would terminate).

We didn't tell anyone else until around 19 weeks which was just a Facebook post so that wider circles could know at once.

Thanks everyone ! Ended up having to tell my manager and line manager as I vomited this morning and didn’t want them thinking I was infected with norovirus or flu lol
Both very supportive , and said they will keep it quiet until I let them know how my scan goes in mid January x

Massive congratulations @itsemily!!!! I'm a first timer too so no particular advice from me

First of all, congratulations! Super exciting for you and i wish you a happy healthy pregnancy and baby at the end.
You should tell your manager asap. That doesnt mean tell your colleagues. Your manager needs to know in order to risk assess as to whether there are certain tasks that should not be carried out by you during pregnancy (i work in the NHS as a staff nurse and this was really beneficial to get done quickly). Your manager would probs be more understanding should pregnancy sickness kick in and you need to take time off etc . If someone runs a maternity yoga class in your area, defs sign up! Great way to meet other new mums/ already mums as well as get your exercise in and learn new things about your body and how to prepare it for birth!